Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Four No More

The Four No More

Long time ago someone questioned me and i said we'd last for all of eternity. And tht someone said.. Dont speak too soon..and i was like Ahhh. i know just exactly wht i'm saying. but now.. now i dont anymore.. its over.

What about death? why do some people die young some early?
what'd you do if someone u loved the most in this world..
more than everyone else died before ur eyes in ur arms..
what'd you do then? after? how would you cope?

whats the point of death anyways?
what does it mean?

dont worry. i'm not thinking about suicide.
what kind of stupid person would think that.. or do so.
over people who dont deserve ur life? come on..
dont ever do that to urself coz no one else is worthy of ur life..
none but God himself.

I just had the most terrible night mare yesterday..
a night mare where the only people i felt i could rely on..
died before my eyes and in my arms..
u should probably understand hw sad.. literally..
REALLY REALLY sad i was in my dreams..
it felt as if everything that was left.. everyone that was left..
that i loved so much and couldn't afford to lose.. was taken away.
away from me. and i felt there was no where left to turn to..
to cry on.. to hug.. to just rant and love..
the place where u feel most secured and loved..
taken away from me.. and it felt so real..

and after thinking it over in school..
I KNOW. THAT YOU ARE TRYING TO MAKE ME THINK AND FEEL AS IF I'M ALONE IN ALL OF THS AND THAT NO ONE IS THERE FOR ME, NO ONE LOVES ME. NO ONE IS FIGHTHING THIS PHASE OF MY LIFE WITH ME.

But too bad. too bad for you. I KNOW.
that there are people who really loves me and are watching over me. I KNOW. that even if there is no one on earth that i could rely on, i have GOD himself to rely on! SHOO FROM MY DREAMS! Noob.

PS: Thank you so much kimberley for being there for me always. for smsing or calling at the right moments when i'm about to cry or just feeling so so sad or angry. it was almost a miracle that u msged me right spot on. At that very second. its amaizing. Telephatic twins alright. Ily.

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