Saturday, March 31, 2012

When the going gets tough...

When the going gets tough, you stick even more to whatever it is that you have decided on / have chosen.

It's called being Responsible.

And that's what makes you different.

Most people leave or give up when the going gets tough,

But you, You're gonna stick through it!

Stop worrying because Tomorrow will worry about itself!

Take charge Lord, take charge.


Thursday, March 29, 2012

Art and Crafts.

Today i spent almost half of my day preparing/making birthday presents.

but i got carried away. Sighs. i cannot la, I just love making things for people. They're so much more meaningful compared to something you just pick up from a store. Making these things requires patience, effort and time. And i've never once bought a birthday card. Over all these years, each and every birthday card has been handmade. =)

I got so carried away! And I suddenly got reminded again of how i used to just take a simple, plain, A4 paper and fold away till something interesting came out of it. Haha. Origami! ^.^  and i used up a whole lot of time thinking of ways to make my birthday card more unique.. more special compared to the ones i've made before. I never fail to want to think of something new every single time I make a birthday card. Like how my public law lecturer always say that "Law is a bottomless peek" I think Creativity itself, is also a bottomless peek! It just never ends! and theres just no limit or whatsoever when it comes to creativity! =)

I don't know about you guys, but I for one have a special liking towards things that are handmade. It may not be as canggih as the ones you grab of a store but its definitely one that is more meaningful. =)) 
Haha..i just get soooo carried away every single time I start my art and crafts! and oh! i was looking high and low for my whole set of stablo color pencils to realize that i have given them away together with my whole lot of stationary when i visited the Myanmar refugee school. Awwwwwh.. =/ Never thought that i'd ever be in need of them color pencils at this age. Haha. Guess i thought wrong! Rawr.

And oh! i randomly came across one of my old entries and i was doing this tag, tagged by Kim.. and.. hahaa..let me share some of the questions here.. made me laugh. x)


3. If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 3 blog buddies you would take with you? Why?
= Bryan - He'd put a smile on my face
= Kimberley - i'd not feel lonely for we'd be doing anything and everything together. =) my twin. (btw. we're one crazy pair when we're together. =D )
=Mel - She ma pillow. x) hahahaha..

4.. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
= The best dance school in the world. =D no books.all dance. ;)

haha.. WISHFUL THINKING! Gosh. Look at me now! 4 years later! In a LAW SCHOOL, FILLED WITH BOOKS. how sad. ahhahaa..maaaans.

5.. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
= Go to a school that excludes books and just plain dance&music all day long. :)

Again, WISHFUL THINKING! i wish.. *daydreamface*

13. What is your ambition?
= pro-dancer. xDDD (i wish it)

Awww..look at cute. Pro-dancer. hahahahahaa...

14. If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
=i'd rather they point out to me instead of talking behind my back. (straight forward=i like.)

Yes, straight-forward i still like!

18. If you have a chance. Which part of your character you would like to change?
=Trusting people too much tht i get hurt. Giving in too much.


How things can change over the years and how some things still remain over the years. =) The beauty of life.


Tuesday, March 27, 2012


How have i been?

the title says it all.
Also, we're gonna be shifting soon. Gaaaah.why so near exams?! =( 43 days left k. I have too short of a time to be packing *which i dread* and cleaning. Sighs. Time is just such a precious commodity, especially at the moment! 

I really hope we shift REAL SOON.. or REAL LATE. 
So chor tengggggg larh. =/
And i haven't  been able to sleep well lately.. hmm.. no idea why..and i've been having alot of stressful dreams lately. I dream alot and i usually remember what my dreams were about. But recently, i've been having those kind of dreams where you'd wake up, feeling as if you've not slept  the whole night. gaah. hate those kinda dreams.  i've been feelin rather weird lately. 

ie: when i'm driving, I have this feeling as if i am in a dream and not in the 'real world'. That feeling is so real till my mind formed the perception that if i were to crash the car right now, nothing would happen to me. I seriously have no idea where or why or how this feeling suddenly came. "So dangerous!", i know. This floating.. kinda feeling and no, i'm not on any drugs or alcohol tqvm! 

Maybe i'm just sick.
Tho this definitely doesn't feel like the normal fever,cough,flu, etc etc. 
It's something new, something i am unfamiliar with.
I've been saying this for the past 6 months.. "I think i should really go for a check-up". ahhh i will try to really go for a check up soon. Me being all weird. *wait! u've always been weird!* hahaa. Whtever lah.. i'm glad i'm different and some may say, weird in my own ways. Interpret weird however you may. But i'm definitely happy with the way I am and the person i have grown up to be thus far. =D

SO GLAD, that i am finally done with all my online legal researches and the assignments. My goodness, looking up all those citations was such a pain. *damn.. is this how it's gonna be in the future?*

- Nah.. not one bit.. it'll just be worse.

Only ending my first year of my Law Degree and here I am, already ranting.
43 days to go, now that the assignments are done with, it'll just be never ending of memorizing and writting for me.

After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. But after all that is said and done, it is always Easier to climb up than to Hang on. :)

Thanks for the great de-stressing time! It's been quite a while since i've climbed!  Felt so good to be climbing all over again.  Thanks for the great day out David. =) 


Saturday, March 24, 2012

Aspire to Inspire before you Expire! :)


Tuesday, March 20, 2012

You're not alone. =)

It's nice to know that i wasn't the only one feeling this way.
In fact, i found someone who is going through almost the exact same situation as I am.
Being me, i listened and then comfort/counsel/advice/encouraged.. whatever u wanna call it.
But heh, to my surprise, as i encouraged this person..
i actually found myself being encouraged as well, by whatever i was saying. =)
And I am glad i managed to motivate/encourage a troubled friend.
Never fails to put a smile in my heart. =)

I guess it's sometimes nice to know that you're not the only one in this.
In whatever situation you're in.
Be as independent,strong and tough..Sometimes, too much, till you think you can actually stand alone. But like the the mechanical pencil and its lead, or the car and its fuel, or a toaster and bread, Dont you see that almost everything in this world is made to complement one another?

And just like how God made a companion for Adam, humans will always need each other. Be it lovers or friends, You can only stand alone for so long.

But that's the most beautiful part, you were never alone to begin with. =)
God has been with you, from the very start and if you will let him, To the very end.

I am blessed, blessed with so many people who sincerely and genuinely care.
Though, at times, even in the midst of all these wonderful people, loneliness still finds its way to overwhelm and consume me. But i guess these times, are the times when i am reminded that true joy can never be found in the things of the world or the people of the world. =)

50 days.


Sunday, March 18, 2012

18th March, 2012.

I am praying, praying for You.
And someday, someday we'll meet.

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile.

Today, i re-dedicated my Life to You, Lord.
God, I want You, more than I want answers.
I dont want to want the blessings and Use You.
But instead, i want to want You, and Use the blessings that you place upon me.

" He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose. "
- Jim Elliot.

I know You have placed me wherever I am for a reason. I know you have plans for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me. I also know that You have brought alot of people in and out of my Life for Your very own reasons. Reasons which i may or may never find out nor understand. But for whatever your reasons are, I choose, to trust in you.

I will wait on you Lord, more than the watchmen wait for the morning. =')

I will be grateful for the twenty-four hours that are before me. Time is a precious commodity. I refuse to allow what little time I have to be contaminated by self-pity, anxiety, or boredom. I will face this day with the joy of a child and the courage of a giant.
- Max Lucado.


Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Lord, open my spiritual eyes to see those "exceedingly good" things in my path. Forgive me for focusing on the problems in the world around me. As i keep my eyes on you and the goals you've put before me, may I go forth in faith, not in fear, so that i dont miss the beauty and blessings of each day. 

Having thus chosen our course, let us renew our trust in God and go forward without fear and with manly hearts. - Abraham Lincoln.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Coz I've got You.

I wont deny how stress i've been feeling.
But stress hit me hard yesterday night.. and the whole of today as well..
i'm at that stage again. Exactly where i was about a year ago.
Asking myself the same questions.
but the only difference?

Last time, i was worried about what IF... etc etc etc. i could've done something.
Now, theres no more IF already. I'm already IN the situation  and theres nothing left for me to do, but to be responsible and to stick to the path i have chosen.

For me, once i've decided on something, i will stick to it no matter the consequence.
I say what I mean and i mean what I say.
And since this is the path i have chosen, whether i like it or not, i will have to stick to it through thick and thin. Theres no turning back once you're in.
And so, i will, i will stick to this path that i have chosen.

Though, i wont deny my true feelings and emotions about whatever I am currently going through right now. Sighs.. =(

Why am i here? What am i doing here? Why am i doing this? Why didn't i listen and run? Is this the life I want?

Questions, from the bottom of my heart.
Sighs. You brought this upon yourself cykm. You chose this, you did this.

On a side note, what i've been worrying about has finally come to light. I saw this coming, but i tried to close my eyes, wishing it'll just somehow, take a right or left turning to another path. I tried to bury myself in denial but it was only a matter of time till it finally arrived. And theres nothing i can do about it. Yet again, another helpless, hopeless situation. Well of course, who am I to even for a second think that any of these was ever in my reach.

As down, low and hopeless as i currently feel.. it is a joy to have someone close to the heart telling you that.. " It's okay, You've got Me. "

And together, we'll run this race.. :) 1437.

I love you.

Friday, March 09, 2012


Whats the point of telling someone you care and then push them away in the end?

Wednesday, March 07, 2012


So i had the chance of meeting Tyler Woodham from the US for the second time! met him back in october last year.. and he is the first person i know who plays the Mandolin! in fact, i've never even heard or seen a mandolin untill i met tyler! It didn't really attract my attention until i met him again today. Gosh the mandolin is such a beautiful instrument and i've been wasting my time watching mandolin videos when i should be studying! haha ok la. Not that bad la. Just spent the past hour watching mandolin videos.. but didn't waste the whole day doing that lah. =P

so anyways, oh gosh.. tyler has really got me hooked on the mandolin! ahhhh! i've not even master the violin and now i'm already thinking of picking up the mandolin! old habits die hard. Sighs.

Anyways.. guess what got me laughing out loud at 1.51am in the morning?
So i was watching this mandolin tutorial video.. and then i saw this comment..

wow. I dont even have a mandolin and I'm watching this. I need a life...

hahahahahahahahah! the minute i saw that comment i was like.. GOSH THAT SOUNDS LIKE ME! HAHAHAHA. maaaaaaaaans!

so funny. hahahaa. *smacksforehead*
hmm. i wonder if they actually sell mandolins here in malaysia. =D=D=D !

anyways, Tyler has really inspired me by the things he has been doing and the journey and experiences that he has shared with me.

Go to and read a few of his entries. Really inspiring, really touching. The entry that got me the most was the entry of them getting robbed when they were on mission in africa if i'm not wrong. i felt it when he shared it with us last october and i felt it all over again and this time even more when i read his blog.

time to sleep. =)



Monday, March 05, 2012

The Smile that shines, through the tears.

“Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts.” 

“I am not sure exactly what heaven will be like, but I know that when we die and it comes time for God to judge us, he will not ask, 'How many good things have you done in your life?' rather he will ask, 'How much love did you put into what you did? 

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” 

“Do not think that love in order to be genuine has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired. Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.” 

― Mother Teresa

KM : Ma! got orange juice?
Ma : Nope, bt got orange la..
KM : =( .. Kay.. i'll just eat orange later then.

*after a while*

Ma : Here you go! :)) *brings a full cup of orange juice she squeezed*

awwwwwwwwwwwhhhh my mummy my mummy my mummy. 

When people ask me what is true love?
I ask them to look at my Mum.

Love you too much ma!
The best cup of orange juice i've ever drunk!


Sunday, March 04, 2012

Dear Amma.

Just now, i had the opportunity to pray for my grandma. I've not prayed for my grandma out loud for quite a while. i usually do it in silence.

she's going through alot now and its taking its toll on her health.
Though i was really terrible at praying in chinese.. i'm glad at how willing and open she was when i said i wanted to pray for her.

and after i finished praying for her.. she said something that i never want to forget.

She said..

" I will see you graduate and become a lawyer.  I will be at your graduation and see you wear your mortar and robe. "

that simple line meant alot to me because we had this conversation before and she'd always say "aiyah, dont talk so far ahead lah. Im not even sure if i'll be here still when you graduate."

so you can understand how much that meant to me. =)

during these rough times, i am seeing instead the sunshine of the whole situation.
I am seeing God move in my family.
Something that always seemed so impossible.

You are truly the God who reigns over any impossibilities.


Rants. run while you still can.

Exams drawing near.
So many students praying for God's help. for His wisdom, for his strength.

but what are they doing?
they're pushing him away. they're putting him on hold. they're pressing the 'pause button' on their walk with God.
attaway to treat God yes? U need him the most right now but your pushing him aside as well. Please enlighten me because that really just does not add up for me. O.o

I learnt, i learnt that at the times when you need God the most, at the times when your at the most hectic crazy busy peek, u draw near and hold on to him.. EVEN MORE. u hold on to Him, even more! you dont push him away? cause He's there, and He wants to help you and YOU want Him to help you, but why are you pushing Him away?! it doesn't make sense now does it?

this generation is so tuned in to the right key the right tempo the right beat till when one of these goes a lil off during times of praise and worship, everyones focus starts to move from God, to the tempo, to the musician, to the worship leader, to how the song is going, to whether or not they are singing it right or in the right key. what amazes me is that they continue still, to sing, their lips continue moving but friends, where is your focus?
why do you sing songs of praises to God?
to worship him? to praise him? or just coz these are the songs the worship leader picked out? these are the songs being played so you just, singalong~! well?

Let me tell you this. Even if a person sings in the most super no hope for singing in tune case, but if his heart is intact with the words that are coming out from his lips? God will hear this person more than the best singer in the congregation but whose attention is more focused on singing in tune with the crazy woaaah-oh-oh-oh yeh yeh~! runs.

Why do you sing songs of praise and worship to God?

Security at the expense of  friendships.

let me just be honest.
in my life, i dont know why, but i've lost.  SO MANY friendships that i treasure dearly because.. just because.. of 3rd parties and i am so tired.. i am so fed up and done with 3rd  parties intervening and taking these friendships that i hold so dearly away from me. Why? Insecure.


guyfriends, dont terasa ok. not just guys. Girls also. can u imagine? friendship with girlfriends also can terjejas because of an opposite sex. why? friggin insecureeeeeee. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. what is this lah what is this. come to think about it.. in both situations also the girls are the ones who are insecure thus resulting in a broken friendship or a friendship that is not allowed or a friendship that is restricted which always leads to hi-bye friendships in the end. Oh wait, or maybe we dont even say hi anymore because a normal Hi would lead to a " So you're going all hello with her now are you?! " Seriously woman?!

not meaning anyone in particular. just exploding because of the build up hurts over the years of really close friends leaving because of a 3rd party. frustrating yes. But oh i guess they forgot it hurt as well. Sighs. never fails to leave me asking, " what did i ever do wrong to have these friendships built and then broken down to a simple nothing? " i dont know how much you people actually treasure friendships but i am one person who really treasure mine. What ever happened to trusting one another? To trust that your boyfriend loves you enough to stay loyal to you? or to trust ME. to trust ME that i know my boundaries and limits because i KNOW that he has a girlfriend? or or to trust me enough that i respect you and treasure you so much that i wont be stupid and actually have a thing going on with your boyfriend? *true story. She threw 7 years of friendship because of insecurity and jelousy. Mmm.. * I mean seriously! what kind of person do you think i am? Am i really that kind of friend to you? the one who would throw friendships away for a momentary happiness which may or may not last? Whatever happened to trust?! Do i really portray myself to be such a person?

"Celine, you're a good friend, you really are.. and i am really blessed to have such a friend in my life.."
and then the but comes in.. But...............

or rather after saying all those they go all stranger on you.

It's just so frustrating and sometimes.. they just dont realize how much it  really affects me because i treasure our friendships so much. And sometimes they dont realize how much it hurts and how much it eats me up inside.

I'd never exclude my friends from my life just because i have a bf.
What kind of bf would you be to actually control who i am friends with and who i talk to? what kind of life is that man? Whoever my future bf is, he'd definitely have to accept me for i am and accept the people who are in my life. of course there will be limits, we both have to compromise and be fair with each other, because that is what commitment is all about but never will i let my world revolve solely on just one person. He'd have to accept that he will never be the number one person in my life because God will forever hold that spot. He'd also have to accept that i have alot of friends and not all of my friends are girls. Basically, i'll never allow myself to be the kind of friends who completely exclude you from their lives, JUST BECAUSE..they now have someone special in their lives. When they have problems with this special person then how? no more friends lorh?

What did i do now huh?

It is.. SOOOO FRUSTRATING.. when people suddenly ignores you.. out of the blue! do it once in a while, it happens. misunderstandings etc. But when they do it as if it were a routine.. *pullshair*
how do you do that?! seriously? how do you..just...
and ppl say PMS. pls ah. PMS can only be used as an excuse to a certain extent okay. Yes, i personally think its merely an excuse okay. you can only have that lil 'feel good hormones' to make you go that crazy okay. yes, when girls have their pre-mentrual syndrome its coz there aren't enough 'feel good hormones' during that period. *yayy new knowledge for guys.* its in the biology textbook and yes, they call it feel good hormones.
But honestly, you cant always keep using that as an excuse girls. People can only take so much and One must learn not to test their friend's patience or loyalty too many times. Don't forget, we're humans too.

I suddenly realize something when a friend gave me a hug on friday..

Hug Deficiency!



Thursday, March 01, 2012

The Iron Lady.

So I finally got the chance to watch " The Iron Lady " and from a personal point of view? I'd give this movie a 8/10.

It was such a good movie! and Meryl Streep, she was.. SPLENDID! Just splendid!

Thought this was a good movie to watch because it relates to one of my current subjects, Public Law, which i honestly am not fond of. But it was definitely cool seeing the cases or situations that i've learned being revised all over again through a form of a movie. haha. so much more interesting if you'd ask! Now public law suddenly seems more interesting than before. Hmm.. the wonders movies can do. =P

But seriously, I'm really happy that i managed to catch it before it went off the screens. Definitely a movie worth watching. Especially for all you ladies out there who believes that a woman can do just as much! 

It was very painful seeing her pack up her husband's belongings. Probably the saddest part of the movie for me. Maybe because I'm such a sentimental person, packing up all those belongings would've probably been the hardest thing i'd ever have to do. Such a painful process. =( Can't actually imagine myself throwing away  or giving away belongings of a loved one. =( ... i'd probably try to keep them with me for as long as I can. Sighs.

Meryl streep, you did well. You successfully managed to get all teary at that part. Something that rarely occurs. heh.

GO WATCH IT! If you have the chance to.
I doubt you'd regret watching it.

On a side note, my fear of people breaking into my house has clearly not subsided. Dont laugh at me.
As i was upstairs.. i suddenly heard the sound of the gate as if someone was trying to unlock the it. "Hmm.. Ban Ho must be back from school.. " So i went down the stairs to bring in the clothes that was hanging outside. As i went down the stairs, the wooden door which i closed properly when i got back suddenly opened as if someone was on the other side of the door, waiting to come in. I was waiting to see my brother step into the house or say something.. but as I approached the door, i saw no one and heard nothing. " Oh.. there's no one there. O.O.. Weird.. heh.. " *still thinking, i sat on the sofa to try and deduced what just happened* "Hmm...maybe i didn't close the door properly and the wind blew it open.." Still lost in thoughts, the phone suddenly rang. *startled* Ran upstairs to answer it. "Hello..? " *silence* "Hello..?" *silence still* "Hello........? " *whoever that was on the other line hung up*

Me: Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. *feeling pretty creeped out* Then i became all paranoid and scared. So i straight away texted a close friend and asked him to pray for me. yesssshhhhh. =(( 

dunno laaaah. eversince the break in i always had this feeling that even my own house, a place i call home is not safe and can be intruded easily. rawr. dont worry anyways. Brother is home now so i'm feeling better.


Thanks For Callinggg. =)