Sunday, March 04, 2012

Rants. run while you still can.

Exams drawing near.
So many students praying for God's help. for His wisdom, for his strength.

but what are they doing?
they're pushing him away. they're putting him on hold. they're pressing the 'pause button' on their walk with God.
attaway to treat God yes? U need him the most right now but your pushing him aside as well. Please enlighten me because that really just does not add up for me. O.o

I learnt, i learnt that at the times when you need God the most, at the times when your at the most hectic crazy busy peek, u draw near and hold on to him.. EVEN MORE. u hold on to Him, even more! you dont push him away? cause He's there, and He wants to help you and YOU want Him to help you, but why are you pushing Him away?! it doesn't make sense now does it?

this generation is so tuned in to the right key the right tempo the right beat till when one of these goes a lil off during times of praise and worship, everyones focus starts to move from God, to the tempo, to the musician, to the worship leader, to how the song is going, to whether or not they are singing it right or in the right key. what amazes me is that they continue still, to sing, their lips continue moving but friends, where is your focus?
why do you sing songs of praises to God?
to worship him? to praise him? or just coz these are the songs the worship leader picked out? these are the songs being played so you just, singalong~! well?

Let me tell you this. Even if a person sings in the most super no hope for singing in tune case, but if his heart is intact with the words that are coming out from his lips? God will hear this person more than the best singer in the congregation but whose attention is more focused on singing in tune with the crazy woaaah-oh-oh-oh yeh yeh~! runs.

Why do you sing songs of praise and worship to God?

Security at the expense of  friendships.

let me just be honest.
in my life, i dont know why, but i've lost.  SO MANY friendships that i treasure dearly because.. just because.. of 3rd parties and i am so tired.. i am so fed up and done with 3rd  parties intervening and taking these friendships that i hold so dearly away from me. Why? Insecure.


guyfriends, dont terasa ok. not just guys. Girls also. can u imagine? friendship with girlfriends also can terjejas because of an opposite sex. why? friggin insecureeeeeee. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. what is this lah what is this. come to think about it.. in both situations also the girls are the ones who are insecure thus resulting in a broken friendship or a friendship that is not allowed or a friendship that is restricted which always leads to hi-bye friendships in the end. Oh wait, or maybe we dont even say hi anymore because a normal Hi would lead to a " So you're going all hello with her now are you?! " Seriously woman?!

not meaning anyone in particular. just exploding because of the build up hurts over the years of really close friends leaving because of a 3rd party. frustrating yes. But oh i guess they forgot it hurt as well. Sighs. never fails to leave me asking, " what did i ever do wrong to have these friendships built and then broken down to a simple nothing? " i dont know how much you people actually treasure friendships but i am one person who really treasure mine. What ever happened to trusting one another? To trust that your boyfriend loves you enough to stay loyal to you? or to trust ME. to trust ME that i know my boundaries and limits because i KNOW that he has a girlfriend? or or to trust me enough that i respect you and treasure you so much that i wont be stupid and actually have a thing going on with your boyfriend? *true story. She threw 7 years of friendship because of insecurity and jelousy. Mmm.. * I mean seriously! what kind of person do you think i am? Am i really that kind of friend to you? the one who would throw friendships away for a momentary happiness which may or may not last? Whatever happened to trust?! Do i really portray myself to be such a person?

"Celine, you're a good friend, you really are.. and i am really blessed to have such a friend in my life.."
and then the but comes in.. But...............

or rather after saying all those they go all stranger on you.

It's just so frustrating and sometimes.. they just dont realize how much it  really affects me because i treasure our friendships so much. And sometimes they dont realize how much it hurts and how much it eats me up inside.

I'd never exclude my friends from my life just because i have a bf.
What kind of bf would you be to actually control who i am friends with and who i talk to? what kind of life is that man? Whoever my future bf is, he'd definitely have to accept me for i am and accept the people who are in my life. of course there will be limits, we both have to compromise and be fair with each other, because that is what commitment is all about but never will i let my world revolve solely on just one person. He'd have to accept that he will never be the number one person in my life because God will forever hold that spot. He'd also have to accept that i have alot of friends and not all of my friends are girls. Basically, i'll never allow myself to be the kind of friends who completely exclude you from their lives, JUST BECAUSE..they now have someone special in their lives. When they have problems with this special person then how? no more friends lorh?

What did i do now huh?

It is.. SOOOO FRUSTRATING.. when people suddenly ignores you.. out of the blue! do it once in a while, it happens. misunderstandings etc. But when they do it as if it were a routine.. *pullshair*
how do you do that?! seriously? how do you..just...
and ppl say PMS. pls ah. PMS can only be used as an excuse to a certain extent okay. Yes, i personally think its merely an excuse okay. you can only have that lil 'feel good hormones' to make you go that crazy okay. yes, when girls have their pre-mentrual syndrome its coz there aren't enough 'feel good hormones' during that period. *yayy new knowledge for guys.* its in the biology textbook and yes, they call it feel good hormones.
But honestly, you cant always keep using that as an excuse girls. People can only take so much and One must learn not to test their friend's patience or loyalty too many times. Don't forget, we're humans too.

I suddenly realize something when a friend gave me a hug on friday..

Hug Deficiency!



No comments:

Post a Comment