Saturday, December 12, 2015

Hello !

Hello, everybodyyy~!

So, how has things been?

First things first, I've got my CLP results and guess what?! :D

I passed and got a 2:2 for CLP , which I am very pleased with. Haha. Honestly, I didn't really care aiming for a second upper or a first class because with CLP? All you wanna do is just pass man. So the fact that i got a 2:2 actually makes me happy. hahah.

Nobody got  a first class, i think about 9 people got a second upper and the remaining got second class lower and third class.
Out of the 1000 plus candidates that took the exams this year, only about 220 people passed at the first go? So yeah, that's how tough CLP really is. :S

But Praise God that i only had to go through this once and not twice or thrice!

So whats next?

Well, I'm happy to say that I got a chambering position with one of the 4 biggest firms in KL and so far so good! =)

Of course, if my working hours were 8-5.30 kinda thing, that would be awesome. Provides a balance and all. But yeah, i guess i kinda expected and prepared myself for crazy working hours. But so far so good. I've not had to stay back in the office until 2am/3am. So i guess u can say life is good.... so far.

Honestly, if you ask me if this is what i want to do for the next 10 years of my life, I can't really give you a definite answer. I guess i'm currently in that phase where i'm just really trying to find out what I really want in life? I'm exploring and don't intend to narrow down my options just yet. But I for sure am not the kind that would stick to something i don't like just because i got a degree in Law.

Practice is just really not for everyone. It really isn't. And so, i guess you could say that i'm on a mission to find out if practice is for me. =)

When i went to court with the senior partners in my firm and observed what they were doing and how they had to do it, I questioned myself if i could see myself there, one day, before the judge, doing whatever they are doing. Honestly? I didn't have an immediate answer to that question. But i guess i'll take this 9 months of pupillage to figure that out. =)

On a side note, it's been really hard for me to actually feel like I have a life outside of work apart from my weekends, but i guess this is what its like in the working world! haha. Now i finally understand how precious weekends are. Because honestly? after coming back from work, i just feel like taking a shower and sleeping. Don't really have the time for anything else and definitely, don't have the energy to do anything else.

I did try to keep up with my normal workout routines after work for the first few weeks, but man, i wake up so tired the next day! Also, it's been crazy how i've been going to bed at like 10/11pm. I used to be this serious night owl! I sleep in the wee hours and all. But now, having to wake up at 6am every morning just doesn't give me that luxury of sleeping late anymore. I guess this is a good thing. Because i've struggled to even sleep by 12am every night for the past few years. But now i'm sleeping at 10/11pm. :O So yays! =D

The best friend is here, back from the UK for two months i think. And it's been great having her around and not having to wait 8 hours for her to reply my messages due to the different time zones. Actually made the effort to bring her out on a weekday night and whoah man! Although it was tiring, it actually felt pretty good! Because it makes me feel like i have a life outside of work. But at the same time it was way too tiring. haha.. sighs.

All in all, I'm still trying to let it sink in that I am officially out of my student life and have officially stepped into the legal profession! Because i still feel weird when people refer to my chambee mates as my colleagues. haha. Because i still feel as though i'm learning, which I am. Because pupillage is like a final lap before becoming a qualified lawyer where we learn the practical side of things and do things hands on. So yeah, you really never stop learning.

Haha, my post was so all over the place.
But who cares right? It IS my blog after all. I can be as messy as i wanna be. =P

I have soooooo many thoughts that i'd like to 'pen' down. But i guess i'll save that for another time. I hope to start blogging more often again. If i have the time.. that is. =)

Till next time!

Friday, September 11, 2015


Hello world,

So here I am, awaiting the results of the CLP examinations to come out..
At the end of my student life and just really trying to figure out " Where do i go from here?"
I've been such a terrible blog keeper.. but then again, I don't blame myself.. CLP was a crazy and tough journey.. But that's a story for another day..

I'm here today to blog about the sacrifices that I have made in order to prioritize my studies.. Sadly, dance was one of em. & now i am feeling the painful after effects of doing so..

I used to dance at least once every week for a few years in a row.. until I got so busy with my studies that I could no longer afford the luxury of doing so anymore.. =( And everytime i was in the midst of revision, i'd see all my other dance mates perform here and there, go for competitions and basically grow and bloom from where they once were. I always feel so crappy after exams because i feel all rusty and all noobie once again. Sighs.... i really hate that feeling so much.....

The feeling of everyone else moving forward... except you.
Everyone growing and getting better... except you.
In fact, i felt like i was moving backwards... from the intense training i used to go through every week to occasional performances here and there.. and especially when it was just commercial performances but not something technical like the ones i used to do when i went for competitions etc.. Sighs...

Inevitably, i've become rusty. I've lost my touch. My groove. I'm not as sharp as i used to be. I don't dance as clean as i used to.. I feel like i'm just back at square one and sometimes, i feel like i'm even further back than square one. Sighs. I really hate the feeling of starting over all over again.. especially when dance is concerned. Because it's something that I love so much. But then whenever i get upset about my current position as a dancer, people always tell me that I have to move on, it's time to grow up, your career in the future won't allow you to have time for this anyway.....

But they don't understand that dance was that one place that I could escape and just be free.. to do something i love, just because i love it.

But it sucks watching your old videos, looking at how good you once were and how rusty you are now.. I don't really know how to explain the feeling.. but it's definitely one that i detest the most. =( For other things like getting my stamina back, getting fit and toned again after all the flabby months of revision and exams, that... I can handle. But not for dance.....

It's so painful to dance now, look at yourself in the mirror and feel like.. Gosh.. I suck now. T_T ='( Super sad can? Sighs.......

And this is probably the worse i've felt because final year and clp were the two years that i've really sacrificed my training for dance.. my practices.. I only did occasional easy performances here and there and that didn't really keep me in check. So i've not practiced seriously for two years plus now.. the longest i've stayed away from dance.. and it's so painful to be where I am now.. Sighs... ='(

Of course, I aim to get back my groove and all in the time that i have while awaiting my results before i step into the working world.. for real. I wanna do as many dance videos as I can in this one month that I have left and of course, try my best to improve in each video..

But then yeah lah.. I just hate starting all over again. It's so painful. =(((

Le sigh.

Life. & the sacrifices that comes with the choices that you make... and the consequences that follows after.

*cries a river*

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Happy, right where I am.

I'm currently in preparation for my final exam in my student life. (yes! the last exam sitting, ever! *hopefully* ) And yes, i know that many of you are confused as to why i'm still sitting for yet another exam even after i've graduated. haha.

Just to clarify, i'm currently preparing myself for a professional paper that i will be sitting for in July before I chamber with a law firm. So yes! My final exam before going out into the big-bad-world. Haha.

For the past 4 years, i've always been slogging at least 4-6 months before every exam during my degree. My course was such that I only had to sit for one exam at the end of every year. So I would usually commence my infamous "isolation from the world" period 6 months before my exam. During that time, I'd make sure I sleep enough hours because whats the point of studying so much but falling sick on the day of the exam, right? But what I always forsake during these periods was my fitness as well as making the effort to eat healthy. Time was never a luxury that i could afford and so i would always just eat anything that was quick,easy and fast. And we all know how its just terribly difficult and expensive to eat healthy when you're constantly away from home, stuck in the library.

I had terrible eating habits during these periods and to make things worse, i forego exercising as well. Because every second and minute was way too precious. So after my exams, every single year for the past 4 years, I always hated how i felt and look. I would've gained a few kgs and become all flabby. I hated how my stamina would drop so low and how I had to work hard for at least a few months to get back into shape. I hated feeling as such, every single time I was done with exams and I told myself, this year, I would not allow myself to feel like that again.

So although the up coming exam is terribly difficult and tough, although it is only less than 3 months away, I've been making a conscious effort to eat healthily - No fast food, processed food, etc. I've also been working out every single day, making a conscious effort to sleep earlier and get at least 7 hours of sleep every night but at the same time, keep up with my studies.

It's not easy. In fact, it has been quite a challenge to wake up really early so that I can exercise before leaving the house for the library or for a whole day of class, planning the night before what to eat, and at the same time, study and all. But it's worth it and I know it will be especially worth it when I am finally done with my exams, but still toned, fit and healthy.

Because all the money in the world cannot give me back the hours of sleep that i have lost or my health. Hence, all the conscious effort to not repeat what I've been doing for the past 4 years. 

And guess what?

I've never felt better! Although exams are drawing nearer, and time is of the essence, the pressure and stress is setting in, but doing all of this, is making me happy despite all the stress. Although the exam is a pretty big part of my life, it is JUST an exam and there is just way much more to life than an exam sitting. So yeah! I've made a choice to LIVE LIFE and to do what makes me happy. =) I feel so much more healthy, happy and I hope that I get to carry this with me until after my exams. =D

till next time!

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Stuck in Between.

Sighs. My whole life, i've always been the middle person for almost every drama that passes by me. I hate it. I really do. Getting stuck in between the raging wars of two parties. Hah! what a joke. Just thought about how Lawyer's do that for a living.

But it sucks i tell you.
Especially when i'm neutral with both parties.

I really hate cleaning up other people's mess for them.
I have better things to do.
More things to care about than to get stuck in the middle of such wars.
It's so stressful.. I can't have a normal day when I myself am trying to recover from a terrible past few weeks. Sighs. And worse of all?

You somehow or rather end up being the bad person for preposterous reasons.
Mans. U have no idea how hard I am trying not to let all of this affect me.
And to actually have a normal happy day.


And when all you've done is help, somehow or rather you get taken for granted, unappreciated and worse still, shouted at.

I'm done.

I don't deserve any of this.
Not the slightest bit.

I think it's time to start making a conscious effort to just... Not Care.


Thursday, January 15, 2015

Time to start writing again.

Hello world,

I have been so busy living life that I've forgotten the joy i found in 'penning' down my deepest feelings and thoughts.

A whole lot of change has happened over time and I have definitely change as a person, if not entirely. A tonne of opportunities have come knocking at my door step and so have a tonne of challenges that i've had to face both physically and emotionally.

You see, I've always been this busy bee ever since time immemorial. Somehow, i've always found myself swamped in a tonne of responsibilities and activities. "She's defo an extrovert who needs to be busy all the time." But maybe not. Being completely overwhelmed sometimes, or almost always, most often than not leads me to become this anti-social person that really just need some 'alone-time'. Yes, surprise surprise, I have my anti-social moments as well. Be fooled not by the cover of my book.

That's why it's all the more.. precious? when i actually take the time and effort to catch up with a friend or ask them out for a catch up session. Despite me feeling anti-social and needing all the 'alone-time' that i can get, i choose to spend it on these handful of people. Hence why it's very disappointing or upsetting when they don't take my time seriously or do not make that effort to even try to catch up with me.

It's tough, keeping a friendship alive.. it really is.. Especially when everyone is just scattered all around. That's why tht effort has to be there and if it isn't then it just gets really exhausting..doing things one sided. But anyways, such is life and sometimes when friendships are lost I can tell myself "Oh well.. that's just a shame" but it doesn't change the fact tht i would definitely feel sad that things had to end. But then again, i'll get over this after a while.

Similarly with people judging me. I always tell myself, u know what, heck care what others think about you, as long as you like you, let them like you for you. But then it's most often easier said than done. It's tough not getting upset about the mean things people say about you really is..

Recently i've become more active in the commercial dance scene and I usually only accept hiphop dance gigs or styles that are in my comfort zone. But in December last year, i accepted a more 'girly-girl' gig tht would require me to dance in high heels and fancy gatsby burlesque kinda outfits. I was superrrr nervous about it because it was definitely something out of my comfort zone. It was my first time dancing in high heels! I've always been dancing in shoes all the way. haha. So yeah, it was nerve wrecking. And to make things worse, in this scene, people usually expect you to have a bikini body and if not, be skinny in order to fit the costumes that were tailored for super models. *big sigh* So there were times when I was at my lowest, feeling extremely down for having a bigger butt and chest which made the costumes too tight to dance in. It was a major self-esteem buster. I felt like, my gosh, u expect us to dance in these things? And if it was already tight for the skinny girls, what more for me? It was a tough moment for me.. a really tough time.. making me feel that i shouldn't accept these kinda shows in the future. Because it wasn't worth feeling that way. Feeling like I had to be of a certain body weight and size in order to fit in. So dancing really well isn't good enough. You had to have a bikini body too. So that really sucked and i dreaded being in the scene. I don't like being skinny and I love having boobs and ass. I'm proud of it. =P But it's just too bad that the world today perceives skinny as beautiful.

So likewise, it was easy for me to say, screw these tailored made costumes for super models. It's ridiculous! But it doesn't change the fact that it was a major self-esteem buster. And so whenever people make comments like, 'You're so smart and pretty.. you should also slim down abit more to be that perfect package..'

I mean come on guys! Who says stuffs like that?! I ain't your property, you ain't my manager, so leave me alone! My goodness. Some people have the lowest EQ of all times. Say brainless things without thinking about it first. I mean, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. And if i want to work out to be fit, that's my problem! So leave me be. Seriously. I'm so fed up of people judging me all the time, putting all these obscure standards of that which i should meet. The truth is, you can never please the world. So i definitely don't plan on giving two hoots about what you think i should be.

I will be whatever I WANT to be.
So if you have nothing nice to say, please, keep your opinions and comments to yourself. Because despite how strong and tough I can be, I too am human and I have feelings as well. Geez.

So yeah, that's just a portion of the things i've been going through inside. I don't often talk about it.. and i mostly just try to struggle through this battle within, alone. Ever since young, i've always taken all of these negative comments and opinions about me and use it as a motivation to PROVE EM' WRONG !!! But at times, I do have my vulnerable moments where my feelings just overwhelm me and then i start to feel upset and hurt about all that has been said and done. And I guess I am going through that moment right now.. but i've decided to blog about it this time.. Hopefully, i'll feel better..somehow.

Till next time.

Monday, December 01, 2014

It's the last month of the Year! *gasp!*

Hello world!

So yes, it's been a while since i've given you guys a proper update about my current life. But I guess i've been too busy living to type it all down.

So nothing much has changed since my previous post.
Life is still all hectic, with all the juggling between my working life, student life and well, being a daughter, grand daughter, sister, girl friend, friend and yeah, u get the idea.

A few good news to share!
So yes, i am officially a Law Graduate! Woooop!!
It was great having my entire family and best friend and boyfriend and friends with me on that special day! =) It was such a lovely celebration. Did you know that at the very last second, i decided in all sillyness to dance my way on stage to get my cert instead of walking like every other normal human being? hahahahahaha. Yesssssss. I totally did so.

Don't regret it though! Received my cert in styleeeee~~~ haha. And not to mention the amount of smiles and laughter that followed as a result of my little performance. =P

Besides that! I got my second Book Prize award for my LLB Degree! =D This time, I got the highest in the Law of Succession for my class of 2014 ! =D Got a first for that Sub! *yayyyyy* And to top that!

My marks appears to be the HIGHEST IN THE WORLD for the University of London Succession exams 2014 !!!!!!

woooooop!!! Statistics showed that in Zone A ( Exam candidates sitting in the UK) 0.00 % obtained an A for Succession. and in Zone B (Exam candidates sitting elsewhere in the World) 1.0 % obtained an A for Succession. And guess who is that 1% in the world????!

:DDDDDDD Oh manssssss. Never have i imagined being the top scorer in the WORLD. This is insaneeeee. And if my memory did not fail me, a part of my answer script was used as an example in the Examiner's Report !! How cool is that?!

Oh mansss. I used to think that all these students must be really brilliant to have been taken as examples for future students to learn from. And now i've had the opportunity of being used as an example for future students! This is so exciting really! =D

Manssss. Never saw myself as being a total Nerd. But i guess i really hit the Nerd-ish end during my final year. haha. no choice okay! It was the final lap after years of effort and hard work! Wasn't going to let it all go to waste! =P

So yes! So happy that i finally got to cross out a few more items on my wishlist column on the right hand side. =) Feel so blessed every single time i get to cross out a fulfilled wish. =))

And yes, I will become a full-time student when 2015 arrives! Will be ending my contract with my current Company in December. This part-time studying and part-time working has been pretty hectic and I guess my studies need my undivided attention once the new year begins! So yeah, i'm really looking forward to becoming a full-time student once again. My final year of my student life! or rather, final 7 months of my student life! Gonna give it all i've got and hopefully, move on to being a chambee with a law firm in September next year. =)

A whole lot of bad occurrences have been a part of my October and November as well. But I am choosing to talk only about the good things, this time.

till next time!


Thursday, October 09, 2014

What Does it mean to Live?

Today I was stuck in the dreadful KL morning traffic jam, struggling to keep my eyes open and then it occurred to me, “Surely there must be more to Life than this”. You wake up at 7am, get stuck in the jam for an hour and a half to get to your office job, leave work for home and get stuck in an even more terrible jam and finally voila! Your day is almost over, and the cycle repeats itself day after day.
How on earth, do people live their lives going through the same old routine for the next 30 years?!

Surely there must be more to Life than this.

I am currently studying and working a 9-5 office job. Sometimes, I feel so exhausted that I feel like I cannot go on another day, juggling everything like this. I was never really an office job, kind of person. Throughout my teenage years, i’ve always tried to avoid getting myself into an office job. I was always a hands-on person, a people person. Not a person who sits in an isolating cubicle where you sit the whole day, with your eyes glued to the laptop. I need to move around, meet people, interact and do something with meaning. Teaching seems like a lovely idea, at this very moment. But reality is often not too kind and we don’t always get to do what our hearts, desire. Not everyone gets the opportunity to do what we love, till the day we die. Why not? Well, i don’t know. Commitments to your family, maybe? Personal limitations?

But isn’t it just sad, that you spend 40 years of your life, doing something that you only do for the sake of surviving? I guess not everyone gets the luxury of Choice, huh? *thatsoundssodepressing* T_T

Surely there must be more to Life than this!

I have been blessed, very blessed indeed, to be able to experience such a “heavenly environment” (as some people say) for my first, proper, office job. There’s nothing wrong with the colleagues, the system, my boss, the CEO. Nothing! Nothing is wrong about this company. They’re all lovely and wonderful people. In fact, I think that being able to experience working with them has been such a pleasant one. Something not many people get to experience for their first office job, or in fact, maybe never. And so, I feel extremely thankful to be in the position that I currently am in.

But, *here comes the ‘but’* haha. But, i guess working in an office job is just not my cup of tea. It really isn’t. That leads me to my next, biggest worry. If an office job is not your cup of tea, how do you plan on working as a lawyer in the very, very near future? :O Sounds ridiculous, CYKM. Of course you’d have to work in an office job. In fact, your working hours would probably no longer be 9-5 and more like 8am-1am. Lol. T_T *here’s where i say “Can I just get married and not work or get married and do something that I am passionate about without worrying about money?”* =(

Sigh. Oh-Mid-Life Crisis.

So, what IS your cup of tea then?

Well, I like art. Making hand craft stuffs. I like planning events. I feel so happy and pleased whenever the event turns out as planned. I like interacting with people, meeting new people. I like dancing. I love kids. I love photography, editing pictures, lighting and all. I love designing and decorating rooms or places. & most of all, i love doing something that has meaning or a purpose behind it. (ie: not just solely to make a profit) ‘Meaning’ could be something as simple as making a kid happy, or making someone’s day. That’s what i like doing and what i want to do above all.
So, what does it mean to Live? To me, merely surviving and living are two totally different things. But many of us live our lives with the goal to survive. Yet again, many of us don’t have the luxury of simply living live, but we’re forced to make decisions and do things in order to survive. To me, to live is to do something worthwhile with my life. To do something that I like and am passionate about.

So why aren’t you doing that then? Why aren’t you Living?

Good question. Why aren’t I? Why am i following the pathway of a law student as though my Life is set to be in this framework and this framework only? Why not get out of that rigid view of how my life would or should plan out? Ever since  A-lvls, the next 6 years of my life had already been planned out.
-1 year and a Half of A-lvls
-3 years of Law School to get my LL.B
-1 year of CLP (God Willing)
-9 Months of Chambering
-Get called to the Bar (God Willing)
-Work in a Law Firm as a Practicing Lawyer

Why? Why must life be like this and like this only? Why do people follow the book of an unknown author just because “This is just how it’s supposed to be.”?

Why do people follow the saying that “Ohh, all these chivalry will only last in the first few years of your relationship. Don’t expect any of this after marriage, especially”. Sounds true, doesn’t it? But that does not necessarily mean that Your relationship WILL turn out like that just because its the norm. Why can’t you strive to be different? To be out and away from the norm? Why do we walk along this busy straight path as though we are all robots and we do not have a choice as to when we should turn right and leave the pathway, I call “ The Norm “? Our lives are free! And we were given a choice as to how to live it! So why should we lead our lives along the lines of a framework set by the world? We are individuals, are we not? And I strongly believe that every single one of us, we’re different and unique in our own special ways. So why should we live our lives with the mindset that “Okay, so this is how it started, this is what is going to happen next, and this is how I will end up.”

SAYS WHO? Says the world? Well build your own world! Because the world will build it too small!

But, i guess, then again, it is always easier said than done. We can never run away from the cold, harsh reality of needing enough money to survive.

#Money over Meaning.
*BIG Sigh*

I have no conclusion or solution as to what any of you, facing my exact same problem should do. In fact, i’m still trying to figure it all out, pondering and wondering. Where do I go from here? Only time will tell. 


Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Hello World!

I know, that i have been the worst blog owner in the history of time. But here i am! After two months! Stress Free *although not completely* but at least, exam stress free! Final Year took up a whole lot of me mentally,emotionally and physically. It has probably been one of the toughest academic year in my entire Life.

So here I am, still alive and kicking after 3 years of pure torture from the University of London program. And hopefully, in August, when my results are out, i would be able to say that I've finally got my LLB hons. :D

It has been such a tough one year and boy have i realized a bunch of things about this program as i struggled by, barely alive. I was so motivated during my revision and exam period to put up VLOGS about "What To Expect" when signing up for the UOL program. hahaha. No idea where that motivation has gone, though.

ANYWAYS. We shall do that another time. But basically, my life for the past few months has been pure torture. I really felt as if my life was on hold, i wasn't living.. didn't feel like it. I would wake up everyday around 7am.. or earlier sometimes.. and started studying at my little study table until it was 12.30am. The only time i had breaks, was during lunch, and dinner. Barely had time for or anything else other than studying. Never ever imagined Celine Yap, leading such a Life. I always sought after a well balanced life and even managed to catch a tv series or two a day. But not this year. This year was different. This year was stressful, because all your hard work in the past 2 years boils down to what u reap this year. What i graduate with, depended on how well i did for my final year. And I really want to graduate with a 2:1. i really do. but there came a point, where i was just so mentally and physically exhausted that i didn't care anymore what results i reaped. All i wanted was to get through this program and be done with my degree life for good. It has been such a bumpy ride.. but i really Thank God for the people that he has set around me during this difficult time. The love and care that carried me back up whenever i felt like giving up.

U know, i felt so  many emotions this time round, it seems almost impossible to list all of them down, here. It would be a never ending list. But the saddest part, was that at times, time was so precious that i had to force myself to suppress all my feelings and emotions just so that i dont waste such precious time crying or yada yada. It was so bad, i felt like a robot! But thats just what i had to do! there was no time for weeping or crying. Because time waits for no man. I even felt guilt every night going to sleep. The fear of going to sleep, because i knew that once i slept, it would be a day closer to my exams, or my next paper. It was pure mental torture, physically and emotionally as well.

Today marks a week since i've sat for my last paper.
And, i'm still trying to recover from lethargy.. from all the lack of sleep and all the backaches and sleepless nights. I've not had a proper good sleep in the past 6 months.. i've always had dreams..tiring ones..scary ones...weird ones..stressful ones.. i'm just longing and dying for a proper good nights rest. But yeah, it's been one crazy ride and all i can think about is about the people who walked me through this difficult and tough time.

My family was so supportive.
Grandma only cooked food that would be good for my health..and so, no fried or heaty food! They refrained from eating bak kut teh because of me! Because it was heaty food! haha. My dad, he allowed me to turn on the air conditioner the whole day,soemtimes,because of the crazy hot ass weather and because my room was always like some barbecue pit. Thank you for that Pa! I know how it must've made the electric bill looked. =/ My mom, well, she was being the loving mother she always is, nagging me about getting more sleep and all. Buying me snacks which i could only eat after exams. hahahaa. Her way of motivation maybe? My brother! Benroy.. he was so kind to take care of teddy and shower her even though it was my turn to shower her.

And then there's Dylan. Dylan Michael Chew Seng Yew.
The guy who stayed up with me into the late nights in the Library for months, accompanying me whilst i studied for my papers. The guy who had to deal with all my emotional turmoils every random second. The guy who drove me home from the many intensive night revision classes because i was too sick or exhausted to drive home. The guy who understood how stressful each subject was because he was simply there, every step of the way. He saw how i worked really hard, he saw how tough a subject was, he saw me have the most unproductive days sometimes. Sitting at the library from morning to night and had only accomplished so little. He was that shoulder i cried on, a few times whenever the stress overwhelmed me. He was a friend. A really good friend. He was that motivator, that person who meant it when he said " I'm here for you. " He was there, ever ready to drive all the way to my house or wherever i was just to give me a hug whenever i needed one. The guy who gave me random little surprises to cheer me up on a rainy day. He was that person who literally walked with me throughout this whole difficult process. So much so, he could feel the stress i was under as well! haha. So did benroy actually. Guess the stress was so great, it really affected the people around me as well.

And there were the ones who was that source of comfort and reminder every now and then, here and there. The ones who prayed and wished me well, the ones who gave me words of encouragement, the ones who shared their life stories with me to let me know that i wasn't alone, to let me know that they have felt whatever i was feeling and that i am not alone.

All these people, have played such a great role throughout this whole journey, that without them, i would've crumbled. Breakdown. and Gave up.And I couldn't feel more thankful, that God has watched over me and loved me so much to have blessed me with such amazing and friends.. What would I have done without all of you? =')

God has been so faithful and merciful throughout these 3 tough years.
And boy am i glad to say that it is finally over!!!

I just want to Thank each and everyone one of you for being there for me in your own special ways. Just know how much i appreciate each and every act, be it big or small. It meant alot and it made a big difference. I couldn't feel more blessed. =))

I don't exactly have my summer planned out as i usually do, this year.
Goes to show how busy i've been this year. So busy living i didn't even have the time to 'pen' it down! But here i am! Haha. Ready to 'pen' them down ! Thus far, I have Sarawak in mind and maybe Singapore! =) But we'll just have to see where Life takes me! Loads to update u guys about, but this will have to do for now. Till next time! =)


Wednesday, April 09, 2014


How do we keep ourselves away from disappointment? Could we avoid it? Dodge it? Is it even possible?

One might think that locking up ourselves and isolating ourselves from the world would do. As long as I'm no where near nobody, I would be safe. Safe from any hurt. Safe from any possibilities of disappointment.

But then if u think about it, one can also be disappointed without even having the need for another person to do anything at all! And that's just it. You're disappointed because someone had omitted themselves from doing something u wish they would have. Like caring.. Making up for their wrongs.. And etc.

So how do we escape disappointment in life? Or is it just inevitable?

If you're hoping for some conclusion and solution at the end of this post, I might have just disappointed you, because I don't. ( ohh the ironyyyy. ) but yeah. I too am puzzled.. Walking through this maze.. Finding a way out but I just can't seem to see the light at the end of any tunnel at this point in time.

I had experienced so much disappointment in a row.. In just a day.. And I am struggling to find my route to recovery.

Where do I go from here?.

Thursday, January 09, 2014

How has it Been?

Hey world.

So, how has it been?
It's been rather difficult for me to move away from the person that i once was. From me not being able to NOT care. But i've been making an effort and it has been going alright so far.. i think..

Been meeting up with a few close friends and been feeling the immense stress of my final year under the UOL.

4 months till my first paper.

So after yesterday, i have decided to stop planning any meet ups for now.
*heh, as if tht can happen*
But i will try tho..

So yes, really soon, the commencement of my "Isolation from the World period" will take place. To be honest, i am far from ready to enter this whole time of the year all over again. =((( But i guess, time waits for no man and time is something that i cannot afford. SO, yes, will start being a completely lifeless nerd real real soon.. But in the meanwhile, i have left, a photoshoot and video shoot with my crew to look forward to and one last performance for a youth event this coming February. After tht, completely no dance till after the 10th of June. The day i finish and am done with Law School! :DD!!!

So yeah, besides tht, i've been doing alright i guess.
Been falling sick. Coz of the busy schedule and the hot hot weather.
But i've been making a real and proper effort at sleeping early and waking up early.
Been trying to spend my time more wisely and be more productive.. in studies, health, etc.

Let's just hope this would last and bear good fruit! =)