Saturday, January 28, 2012

Not Like The Movies.

He put it on me, I put it on,
Like there was nothing wrong.
It didn't fit,
It wasn't right.
Wasn't just the size.
They say you know,
When you know.
I don't know.

I didn't feel
The fairytale feeling, no.
Am I a stupid girl
For even dreaming that I could.

If it's not like the movies,
Thats how it should be, yeah.
When he's the one,
I'll come undone,
And my world will stop spinning
And that's just the beginning, yeah.

Snow white said when I was young,
"One day my prince will come."
So I wait for that date.
They say its hard to meet your match,
Find my better half.
So we make perfect shapes.
If stars don't align,
If it doesn't stop time,
If you cant see the sign,
Wait for it.
One hundred percent,
With every penny spent.
He'll be the one that,
Finishes your sentences.

If it's not like the movies,
Thats how it should be.
When he's the one,
He'll come undone,
And my world will stop spinning,
And thats just the beginning.

'Cause I know you're out there,
And your, your love came for me.
It's a crazy idea that you were made,
Perfectly for me you'll see.

Just like the movies.
That's how it will be.
Cinematic and dramatic with the perfect ending.
It's not like the movies,
But that's how it will be.
When he's the one,
You'll come undone,
And your world will stop spinning,
And it's just the beginning.

Monday, January 23, 2012


This hit me real hard.

" When others affect the course of your life, you face a moment of decision. Though you cannot change the past, you can affect the future by your response to the wrong you suffered at their hands. You can feed the fire of bitterness, or you can hold your scars before God and ask for grace to forgive others for what they have done in the past. "

I chose to spend my 1st day of CNY at home.
To accompany my grandma.

Ahhh her Chai Siew Ngor is always the best every single year! that is one of the few things that I really look forward to every chinese new year! so yep. had a great vegetarian brunch! =) Although, she was watching her hokkien programs on astro, i just sat beside her and read a book. I guess, even though we're not talking and doing our own stuffs, I think my presence there means something to her.
from time to time she'd talk to me and ask me stuffs.. AND THEN..

it started raining heavily and Astro pun tak boleh tengok edy.
At that point, i was REALLY happy i chose to stay at home and accompany her. Imagine, first day of CNY, alone, and astro also tak boleh tengok. how weih.. she sure emo to the max lor..
Anyways, we started talking and talking and talking..and she shared with me bits and pieces of her past that was unknown to me. Then i realized how many scars of the past that still hurts her from time to time. Even though all these things have happened over i dunno? 50 years ago? Theres so much bitterness, anger, pain, disappointment, and sadness that is still piling up in her heart. After hearing all her stories, I really wanted to encourage her to let go of her past and to forgive and forget. Then again, even I myself sometimes find it difficult to let go of the past. What more my grandma who has been through so much? And she even admit that she's someone who'd keep it all in her heart and she'll never forget. And she is, she is like that. So i decided to just stay put, and be the listener. Made me think alot about my own life as well.. hmm..

That passage up there really hit me hard. Real hard.

On a side note, guess how i spent my rm200 book voucher?

RM150. gone just like that!

And i cant believe how expensive colour pens are! always wanted them but never bought em because i thought the prices were ridiculously expensive.

RM42. cant believe i spent that much on just colour pens.

Besides the price, really happy that i finally own a set of these! Hope they'd last me a reasonable length of time!

 RM50 more to go. =)
doubt i'd buy any story books. Prolly gonna spend it all on stationaries. Have I ever told you about my love for stationaries? =) Yesh. I really like stationaries. Maybe not as crazy as last time. while i was in primary school and secondary school, when my family and i pergi shopping in giant/tesco/carefour/jusco, i'd go straight to the stationary side and i could stay there for hours. =P hahaha.. Oih! Dont laugh at me k. its normal.. i think.         Man. i even told myself.. " when i grow up, i want to own my own stationary shop! " LOL. Who knows? i might still do that after i've had enough of all the law and yada yada. =D

Sissy and Bro in law and nephew and niece on their way!
Hope to have better days of the remaining hols!


Lord, i do not deny the pain that I have experienced, but by your grace I give you those painful wounds, no matter how deep they are. I realize that I am powerless to fix the past or to change others, but I also understand that your love can heal me. I give you my scars, and I thank you for the peace and mercy and joy that will flourish within me in the absence of bitterness.
Okay la. Sorry for such an emo entry. LOL.

Have a great CNY everyone!
Eat in moderation but Collect as many ang paos as you can! =P
And most importantly, have a great time berbonding with ur famiwee. =)


Sunday, January 22, 2012


The only thing that hasn't change about CNY?

The Ang Pows,cookies and fireworks.

You know, those reunion dinners we always see in the movies?
Where each child is busy with their own life..and everytime they've to come back for reunion dinner it becomes a hassle and they're only there because they HAVE to? its sad isn't it? the way people end up? From a reunion that happens because everyone wants to be reunited to a reunion where everyone is there only because they have to.

I wonder why the same story line applies to most families nowadays.

Its such a sad story line. =(

Saturday, January 21, 2012

You're like a windmill.
Wherever the wind blows, there you will go.
Have you not known me long enough to have a little faith in me?
To trust and believe that I will be there whenever you need  me?
To know that i'm a person of my words?
To know that I love you enough to drop everything present in my life and travel a few hundreds of kilometers just to be with you?
It's saddening, to see how your faith and trust in me is so easily shaken.
Over and over, it happens again and again.
Still, I never left.
Still, I stayed.

What more can I do to show you, that the love i have for you, is true?

Sunday, January 15, 2012

The start of My 2012. =)

Hey all! =)
SO! I know i promised to blog about the Christmas Party that was done in my College but i seriously had NOOO time weih! hahahaa..even all the pictures are still stored up in the December 9 folder, left untouched! I've yet to upload them. But ANYWAYS! =P Here's bits and pieces of my 2012 thus far. =)

Ching came back from Australia and brought these lovelies for me! hehe.. ^.^!!! I know i know i am so lovedddd! =)))))) Thanks Ching! I had a very good time with you that day even though it was only for a while. Wished we could've spend more time together.. I miss you already. =( 

And Besides being busy with my studies, I was also working. =)

I Taught Dance at the Follow Me company. Taughtt the KL headquarters. =)

It felt quite weird when they called me Teacher. hahaa.. felt so old.. =P
Me: *stun for a while* Ohhh Hiiii!

This is actually my 3rd year teaching them.. =) I must say, they definitely stretch my capabilities and bring me out of my comfort zone each time they ask me to teach and choreograph for them! This year, it was a much smaller group compared to the previous years. It was easier to coach and guide them. But we barely had any time this year! They called me so last minute this year. But anyways, from our last session on the 12th, they look pretty promising to me. =) They were so nice! after our last session, they brought me to Chilis at Empire Shopping Gallery for dinner! =)) Thanks alot guys! It was quite tiring to go up and down and have classes and then teach and vice versa. But I had a good time teaching you all. The commitment and effort you put in definitely made me proud! Regardless of what you'll get at your competition, To me, You've already won. =) I came in, looking for commitment and to see you putting your heart to it and that is exactly what you guys gave me this year. =) Jia You ah you all! Don't forget to have fun!

And Guess Who came back from Australia too?! =))

Aaron Dominic Ong Chai Hong! =PP
Your name so long laaarhs! hahaha..

I lovvveeee candids! =D

Went to Ikea! First meatball of the year! and first time trying their cheesecake! You hungry already? =PPP hehe..

Thanks alot for the great day! Its amazing how we got here and how we're still here! hahahaa.. What? 8 years? =) I had a really good chill day.. So nice to have a chill day when your whole week was just HECTIC *see i can pronounce* =P. HWHY HWHITE? hahahahahahahahahahahaha~ *sowee inside joke* =D

And Today! I got to see Jet,Victor and jess!
ahhh i missed you guys! 

Hahahah Jet your eyes! LOL!

It was good catching up with you Jet! =)

And then we had a 'surprise' for Jov's 21st Birthday! But it was a PHAILED surprise. hahahaa.. JJ U HAVE NO RIGHT TO BLAME ME! hahaha..all i did was replied.. T_T But anyways, it was so good seeing them again.. I really miss all of you alot.. alot alot alot alot alot.

So now, No more work, Just studies. =D

I've a dance competition coming up on the 19th of February and gila intense training shall start this week. We've what? a month till the competition? I really hope we'll win! Lets do this! =)))
I promise myself, that after this dance competition, I will not get myself involved in anything else. No work, no other commitments. Just studies. =)

Till next time!
Have a great week all! 
Let me just end with this quote by Catherine Booth.

" It is FAITH that brings power, not merely praying and weeping and struggling, but believing, Daring to Belive the written word with or without Feeling. "

Lord, I'm thankful that you desire to speak through me. Help me learn to depend completely on you and to trust you for the right words at the right time. Whenever I am in a tight spot, I know that you are especially with me then, giving me just the right words to say to bring your life, light and glory because you are the only one who can do this. Thank you for your wisdom and timing, which are always perfect.


Sunday, January 08, 2012

Lord, my heart longs to hear your voice just as Jesus did. Help me to draw away from this frantic and busy world to be alone with you. Open my eyes to see what you want to show me, my ears to hear what you desire to tell me. Then and only then will I know what to pray in secret as I respond to your heart. 

Lord, thank you for your promise that those who ask receive and that when we seek, we will find. Grant me the grace to persevere, to keep on asking, seeking and knocking until the answer comes. Thank you for the power and grace of your spirit who gives me the strength to persevere in prayer even when I am at my weakest moment and ready to give up.

Thank you Lord.

Saturday, January 07, 2012


Just watched this movie called " Our Idiot Brother "
Its about 3 busy sisters,with lives of their own and a brother who is stupid and naive but someone that has a big heart. He is easily lied to, cheated and believes people very easily. But thats the sad part, His big heart, his attitude of always wanting to help people whenever they need him despite how busy he is, when you need him, He'll be there, is always taken advantaged of. But regardless of how mean they are to him, he still loves them with all his heart.

You know, the plot is pretty typical but it is also a plot that shows the reality of families nowadays.

I just really hope that one day, when i am even busier than I already am with my career, i will not turn out to be like one of these sisters. Its really heartbreaking to see a family become so.... empty?

From one that is united, and one that is filled with love,respect,kindness,laughter and joy.. vanish into thin air because of time,money and selfishness. Money being the sole cause of fights between families are SO TYPICAL. soooo typical.. soo saddening. Fighting over money is just stupid lah. And then when they realize in the end that the bonds that they have are broken because of money can never be bought back.. they start drowning in self pity or regrets.

Too late.

My family is definitely not a perfect one.
We've had our happy days and our sad ones.
All families do. All families have their own set of problems.
I definitely miss the times when we were all closer and more united.
I miss the warmth and love that used to surround our family.
I miss the fact that we, The Yaps, we're always the family people look at and say, Wow. What a great loving and united family.

People change and situations change as time goes by.
But i know for sure that Family? family stays.
God given and something that money can never buy.
Something that is not of choice but is one that is to be treasured and held onto,dearly.

Things may not be how they used to be, but we're all still alive aren't we?
We're still a family and i dont see whats stopping us from being the loving and united family that i know we used to be and can be.

Cykm, dont you ever become one of those career first,money first,family second kind of person. Dont you ever.

I love you guys.
U too Jie.


First week Done?!

Was that fast or was that fast?! Felt as if i just did the flash mob for new year's eve and the first week of 2012 is already coming to an end!

Accomplishments of my first week?

Well, One thing that i'm super proud of is that.. I THINK.. i have finally found my secret ingredients to staying super focused in PUBLIC LAW class! ahhhh! =D i always super down on fridays coz of public law lorh.. i feel so lost.. feel like im drowning.. feel so dumb. =.=! But i have found, my secret ingredient. Lets just hope it works even for next week!

I have to admit. I was sooo busy in december, soo exhausted that my attention span in class was quite low.. And no matter how hard i tried to stay awake during public law, i sure doze off 1-2 times lah.. =( But this week?! One whole strike, SUPER FOCUSED. So yeah, super happy about that! yay! =D!

And guess what? First week of 2012 and i'm already busy as a bee! I'm currently working and studying. I'm teaching dance. Teaching the "Follow Me" company to be specific. So sometimes, i teach dance in Subang in the morning and then drive back to KL for class. Or go to class and right after class rush to Subang to teach. So yeah, its been such a tiring week! The Jam drains me out even more i tell you.. But its alright.. I shouldn't grumble i guess. Coz not many get such opportunities. Though, it feels REALLY WEIRD/AWKWARD when someone 10-20 years older than me calls me, "TEACHER!" HAHAHAHA! Aiyooh! i always stun for a while then only respond to them. HAHA. When they see me, they go, " Hi teacher! " Me: *stun, Process* oh hi! =D lolllll!

But i should feel bangga in a way i guess. =)
So yes! Studies? Check! was a good week.
Work? Check! was good too!

Meeting up with Friends? FAIL. SUPER FAIL. haihs.
Wan Ching's back from aussie also i havent got to see her up till now. =( Sometimes i'm so busy till i dont even have time to call her back or reply her. feel so bad. =( Aaron is also back from aussie and i've not even planned a time to meet. Suppose to meet marilyn since last year till now also havent seen her. i think for at least 3 months plus edy..or 4.. or more! :O! and haha! yesterday, i was so tired, that i didn't even have energy to talk to my brother and it was only like 11pm plus! CAN U BELIEVE IT?! Celine Yap.. 11pm, battery flat! *No waaaaay~~~!*

AND. i starting to feel the stress of exams already. 10 May is the date! *Stop! shh! dun say a word~!*
10 MAY is NOT far away and "still long way more to go lah~" Not in the language of Law, No! So yeah, if i could, i'd stay back in college everyday till 9pm. But i cant. sighs. And i dont like studying at home. so cramp. =(

that has been me, eversince the year started.
And have u checked out my new songs?! Recently discovered Mat kearney, ben rector and peter bradley adams! they're so good lah! These kind of songs i like! Not much of the main stream person. So happy i found them! =)

*gasp!* 3am plus edy! Gotta wake up in a few hrs time! Bringing grandma out for breakfast and fetching her to do her stuffs. Then got dance prac for sunday's performance! ahhh goodnig..... Morning!


Wednesday, January 04, 2012

So this is how it feels..

.. to be on the other side. 


Happy new year everyone!

I'd usually blog and reflect about the year that has come to pass or pen it down somewhere. but this year? this year i decided to make a video of my journey in 2011. =) all the pictures and videos put together. it took up alot of my time but i'm glad i did it. Cause not only i, but many others have smiled watching this video.

Last year, has been one heck of a ride!
One moment, flying so high, and the next moment, i'm falling faster than gravity.
But that is how my life is.
But despite all the times i've been hurt, pushed down, stepped on, let down, torn..
I am still standing here today, being a testimony to others.
I am still standing here today, being a blessing to others.
I am still standing here today, telling u how great my God is.
because I am still standing here today.

Despite all the tough times, I can tell you that i would not have want my life to be any different because all the challenges that i've faced have shaped me into the person i am today.

What my lil brother said is true. The video only shows all the smiles,laughter and good times i've had. Pictures and videos clearly do not show the pain one goes through. But then again, aren't the good memories the ones that we want to keep and hold dearly rather than the bad that should be forgotten and let go?

Thank You Pa and Ma.
For disciplining me, shaping me, guiding me into the person i am today. So i've heard, You've done a good job at raising me! =P

I'm sorry for keeping such a distance from you for all this time. Sometimes, i just cant help but stay away for my own reasons. I will not forget the day u helped me wrap my textbooks.

I'm sorry for being so cold to you so many times last year. I try really hard but whenever i'm about to be warm again, something just pulls me back and i instantly build a wall. i'm sorry.

Ban Ho,
I'm sorry if i've been selfish towards you or been too busy to spend more time with you last year. You know We could be twins if we wanted. Thats how close we are despite whatever. But as your elder sister, I'm sorry if i've ever been selfish towards you or if i sometimes gave u the impression that i care more about my friends. You know I love all of you alot.

Family, I cant promise you anything and i wont promise you anything because i believe actions speaks louder than words and only time will tell whether i'd be a better person this year. But for whatever wrong i have done thus far, i hope you will forgive me. The "im not perfect" quote is not and should never be an excuse for my wrong behavior. Though, i also hope that you will remember that I am only Human and there is only so much i can take at a time. I just want y'all to know that even though sometimes i may seem closer to my friends than to y'all, U will always be family and I will always love you no matter what happens between us. Theres still love, even in silence.

Thank you so much for all the love and care you have showered me with. For all the times you tried to cheer me up, for all the gifts,smses and calls, for all the support and encouragement, for blessing me by simply being part of my life. Each and everyone of you played a significant role in my life. You know who you are. =)

Without God, i definitely could not have got through 2011.

I look back, and I told myself,
I am happy with my Life.
Are you?
if you're not, why not?
My last question to you is,
What then, are you going to do about it?

Heres to a new year, heres to a better year!
2012, a year of change.