Saturday, July 28, 2012

Alooooo~! :D

Hello people. :)

Been busy as usual.. but i've been coping better.
This week, i was reminded once again how materialistic this world can get!
It is sad but it is reality.
I went for this business dinner and i was surrounded by tonnes of rich people. Ferrari, Audi, Porche, Lambo,  you name it, it was there.

It was cool but i didn't feel comfortable.
I felt as if i had to put my guard up the whole time because everyone there would judge you by the way you carry yourself and ESPECIALLY on looks.

I will blog about this again soon!
have to go fetch grandma now. :)

OOOOOHHH~! my baby just had its first service and wash! Heheee. :)
sho happy~! Money went out of my pocket but this is all part of growing up. :D



Wednesday, July 25, 2012

I want a silent hug so badly.

Things have been so difficult for me lately. So many things. And i am really trying my best not to complain. Not to explode. Not to be lead by my feelings. Not to mistreat others just because I feel so and so. But it is just.. SO DIFFICULT!

='( sighs.
it is so frustrating.
it is so stressful.
it is so hard.

Sometimes, the things i do for some people, so ridiculous, but yet, i still did it even though it caused me alot of hardship. One side of me will start complaining like crazy and label my action as dumb,silly,ridiculous, etc. You name it. And the other side of me will ask me to just tahan and to just do it. Buat saja. buat saja. But the other side of me will be in rage.. and it is so stressful! It is like a battle between what my heart wants and what my brain is trying to do.


I have alot of responsibilities. I am depended on, by alot of people. And my attention and help is demanded by many. Sometimes, i get so overwhelm by it, i find myself doing something just because i have to and not because i want to. And i really dont like it. Because then, my actions would be insincere. At the start of 2012, i came into the new year with a goal and i am still trying my best to stick to this goal. I know it is not wrong to sometimes give in to what i want and to what my heart wants and does not want. But sometimes, i have to put the needs of others before my wants. At least, that is what i am trying to do.

When God changes me, He's got more than just me on His mind.

So not everything is about me. 

but sometimes my selfish heart desires gets the better of me.
It is also so hard when the people around you dont know what you're going through. the things they ask you, the questions they ask you only amplifies the pain that is already there, struggling to heal. 
but its not their fault tho, they dont know what you're going through.

I just feel so..
sighs, i dont even know how to describe what i'm feeling.

Friday, July 20, 2012

I am the better person in this.

I wish you well. 


I knew this would happen.
Why would you wanna do something like that to me?
What did i ever do to you?


That is just life, well isn't it?
When it is in the grasp of another's hand, You can only Hope that they will somehow give it back to you.
But other than that? You are completely helpless.

It may mean nothing to You. But it means a whole lot to me.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Mixed Feelings.. 
Can't seem to put them down into words.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

It is well, with my Soul.

On Sunday, we sang this song in church and the message and story behind this song really hit me.

Horatio Spafford, he had it all going for him.
4 daughters,a son and a loving wife.
Successful lawyer. But it all went down hill when his only son died at the age of 4. There was then the the great Chicago Fire which ruined him financially.. business burnt down and all. They planned a trip to europe. Sent his daughters and wife ahead as he got delayed by his business probs.

Wht then? the ship they were on had a collision and all 4 daughters died. Only his wife survived the tragedy. As he was on his way to meet his wife, he penned this song/hymn.

" It is well, with my soul. "

After such a tragedy, one after another, He could bring himself to write a hymn of praise to God and to say that It is Well, with his soul.

Made me question how strong my Faith in God is.

Would i have succumbed to all the pain,anger, despair and start playing the Blame Game?

I like to put myself in the shoes of others. I tried putting myself in Horatio's shoes. Would I be able to do the same thing as Horatio did? Would i still love God regardless of all that has happened and still sing songs of praise to God? Would i still stand firm in my Faith in God?



That was tough. Of course, right now when my life is Good and all, i can easily say, no, i will not blame God, i will still continue to stand firm in my Faith in God. It is always easier said than done. What would i actually do if i was in Horatio's shoes?

Honestly? until and unless i am ever put in such a spot, i would never know.
I may be strong in my Faith now. But what about then? Would i be strong enough to hold on and to trust God? I can write a poem now, saying how i would never blame God because i know that He is God and He will do things according to His will, whatever they may be. But look at Peter. Look what happened to him. He denied Christ 3 times.

Anything can happen when you are caught in such a situation.
But instead of waiting for that time to come, if it ever comes, in whatever way, I want to be prepared. I want to be stronger than I currently am in my walk with God. I dont want to wait till the very last minute to find out whether or not i am strong enough. I WANT to be strong enough. My Strength comes from God and not from me.

In my life thus far, i realized how less-tragic things can affect me so much. Ie: getting rob twice in a year, having horrible car breakdowns, constant ones i may add, having sick family members at the same time, etc etc. You name it. I remember how ANGRY i was, the second time i got robbed. It was so frustrating, i could not have lifted up my hands to God at tht very moment and praise God for being so merciful for sparing our lives. I could not. But now, if ever, if ever i was put in such a spot, i would want to be able to do so. In my darkest times, i want to be able to still lift my hands in worship. I want to reach that point where I can say " It is well, with my Soul " regardless of all the bad things that are happening in my life.

What about You?

This song really reminded me how things of the world.. including the people around you, their body, our bodies.. it is nothing but mere dust. Are you right with God? Is it well with your soul? Or are you just trying to finish your Life on earth and that is it, end of story?

Are you living in the world, or of the world?

I believe that everything has its time and place. Be it your career, the search for your Purpose of life/in life, or finding Mr./Mrs Right.

All of these will come along in His time.
Try taking things into your own hands, ie: rushing into relationships and you'll find that Mr.Right at the Wrong time is as good as him being Mr.Wrong.
And that is why i will wait on You, God. More than the watchmen waits for the morning.
I choose not to succumb to the trends,pressures and wants of the World.
The most important opinion of you should be God's opinion of you.
Are you right with God?
You're not? then what are you waiting for?!

*bimbo tone* Like, Seriouslayyyy?

:P haha.


Tuesday, July 17, 2012


I have been... SO BUSY!

I hardly have time for anything else! haaha.. My journey post exams has been carazzzzieeee!

Genting - Perth - Work -- Penang -- Dance Performance -- Johor -- Super Big Show/Dance Performance -- roadshow -- Parade of Schools (EMERGE 2012)

those are just the main stuffs.
but yeah.. schedule has been SO PACKED! 

And if you are wondering, Penang was great! 
The Bestfriend and I went to Penang before with seperate groups and it wasn't a very pleasant experience. The food i ate was so not worth eating. haha. No offence. So the both of us decided to give Penang one more chance and to go together instead, this summer. So off we went to Penang for a whole week.

Z Verdict?


we two have a totally different perspective and view of Penang now. We really like Penang now. I Penang nice food expert jor! *wink wink* come ask me if u wanna know! I will not membesar-besarkan all these nice places! WHY?

according to the locals, once a particular stall goes famous and all over the internet, their standards ALWAYS drop. According to the locals la. so these nice makan places shall be preserved by yours truly! and i shall do as the locals say! :)

So in short, Penang has been redeemed by them loyal,proud and semangat penangnites! Well done! U have successfully changed the minds of two KL-ians to adore Penang. Not only food, but the people especially! the community! They are so nice..! i hope KL ppl will be like that someday. What a nice community to live in. :)

and next time we go back, it would be a hiking trip! ;)
Right after i got back from Penang,after me touch down, Celica picked me from KL Sentral and we headed to z performance place rightaway! learned all the new changes made to the routine in the car ride. Hahaha. gosh! you have NO idea.. how tired i was! after the performance i was super zombified edy ok! But it was fun performing with HyperActive again. hahaha.. famiweee! :))) 

got home around 12midnight plus.. packed for JB and hit the road the next day and headed down south! and now, here i am, in JB as promised, JB-ians! hahaa. Mans.. i have not travel so much in a year before! I must say, though i really dislike the whole packing unpacking and packing idea, i shuperrrrr like travelling! especially all the people u meet along the way. :) it is nice. I like it. :D

After this JB trip, it is back to reality! No more hollie for me.
Have to sort out all the roadshow stuffs.. still so unprepared. sighs.. so much issues still and it is suppose to start on the 23rd. Pfft.. 

and.. this coming Saturday, it'd be a super duper wooper crazy Saturday! WHY?
because... *drumrolls~~~!* HyperActive will be performing along side KTNK and ECX! *gasp!* STRESS OR WHAT?! and if you dont already know, KTNK and ECX are the 2 crews that alot of people in the dance world in M'sia look up to! they are like.. at the top, up there! So even though sangat stress and pressured! I am excited! it is an honor. It is an opportunity that I will grab and embrace! *inhales* I can do this! we can do this! :)) EXCITEDS! :D tickets sold out already though. =( 

Sides that, it has been really great catching up with all my friends from all over! FINALLY kan? hahaha. and ohhhhh! I'd be really busy with pracs for the upcoming Parade of Schools in EMERGE 2012! :D Parade of Schools? apa tu? 

it's basically cheerleading la ok? but more chun! got more dance/stunts/ etc la! so its technically... not just cheerleading.. its like......... the evolved/more advanced kind of cheerleading? i dunno lah ok! hahahaa. so hard to describe. =.=...

but yes.. i'd be busy with that to! i can't wait though! been 3 years since i've last joined POS. Can't wait to see whats in store for 2012! exciteds! :)) yes laaaa.. i cheerlead before okay.. =/ Dont laugh.



Work work work!

My habis kerja face! Sho happie!
No more 3M fair! :D
Hey guys! it has been a while.

I've been so busy with work..
I wake up really early and sleep really late. I leave the hse very early and come home very late.
By the time i get home, i just dont feel like doing anything else.

Sho tired! but i always end up sleeping really late. there was one day where i had only 3hours of sleep. So standing for 12 hours after tht was really difficult! lesson learnt. or maybe not? :P hahaha.

But yeah! i've been doing roadshows and all.. but the annual 3M fair was definitely a walk down memory lane. I really enjoyed the Julie's roadshow. SO FUN! :D didn't feel like work at all.. The Mentos one.. was only fun for like.. 2 days. hahahaa..after that i got really depressed selling z 3D Gum. haha. like so pointless. and ppl kept putting their camera in my face with the flash without asking me! how rude! Pfft. but there were nice people who asked first.. so i had to sell, AND take pictures with alot of people coz they were soooooo fascinated with my purple hair and almost all of them thought it was real even after pulling up my purple hair and looking underneath for any black hair. lol..

YES. my purple hair was fake la. many people thought it was real tho! because..apparently, it fits me well! hahahaa... but yeah.. my happiness and excitement for that Job only lasted 2 days. x)

3M fair started on the 4th -6th. I was suppose to carry on with the Julie's roadshow. But after my good performance last year for both the 3M fair and the Scotch Brite roadshow.. I've gained favour in the eyes of the big bosses in 3M. So they made sure my boss put me in the 3M fair and the Scotch brite roadshow. lol..unfortunately, i'll be heading another roadshow this year which clashes with the Scotch Brite 3M fair was a MUST! for the clients. So yeah.. was pulled into 3M fair at KL Sentral.. AGAIN.. I am honestly not a fan of working at KL Sentral for the 3M fair.. aihs..whats worse? this year there was only Scotch Brite to sell. No post its.. no Nex care.. just Scotch Brite.. and boy was it depressing.

it had its pros and cons lah..
It is actually pretty difficult to sell such items in KL Sentral. A place where everyone is rushing for time. It was definitely a challenge.

*saved as draft, continued like.. today.. on the 17th of July. YES. i was THAT busy. haha!*

But when you take up such a challenge and try to put your convincing skills to practice, You actually get more opportunities! ie: people giving you their business cards, etc because they like the way you can sell/convince people to buy.

So that was one of z perks of challenging yourself to be the best and to do the best in whatever you are doing.

I honestly did feel very happy when people bought just because of my effort or just because i passed their test and managed to answer all their questions that they threw at me without warning. It is pretty satisfying to see all your effort and hard work, bearing fruit. It was good to know that i could actually build my connections by doing such jobs. Mmhmm..

But other than that, it was during the Mentos roadshow and the 3M fair that i realized how selling is no longer my cup of tea. Makes me wonder if it ever was to begin with. Hehs. But the Julie's roadshow was pretty fun though. :) Quite motivating. hahaa. Somehow, we were all really motivated to work for the Julie's roadshow. Wonder why. haha..

So yesh.. there you go. My work experience for z summer hollies, thus far.

no more selling for me for now. I need a break from selling.
Now, i wanna give.. give give give giveeeeeeeeeee~!