Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Lousy.

Sometimes they say the best way to let out your fustration pain and sadness is through tears.

i dont know whats up with me. seriously.
this week has been .. so.. confusing.
my patience level is just SO LOW this week..
these few days.. im quickly angered.

i lose my patience just like that.
which is just so not me.
i lose it. so easily.

i just feel like shouting at the people who annoy me.
and say mean and hurtful things which i dont mean.
i didn't say em of course. im glad i can still control that.
but still.. whats the diff of not saying it if i've already felt it and thought abt it in my head?

stupid celine. sigh.

everytime i'm on the verge of exploding i say a lil pray to calm me down... to help me control myself from hurting anyone.. but i've never been so outta control before. i really dont know whats creeping into me.

i guess lately the people who ask me.. hey how are you and stuffs..
i say im alright and all tht. just stressed out about exams n all..
but today i realize.. im only okay outside.. but inside..
i'm still as messed up as i was last week or the week before. maybe even worse.
theres just so many things going on inside.. that i've hidden from everyone.
even from myself. =.=.. i thought i was yay all okay and all..
truth is.. im still pretty messed up inside.. i didn't solve em..
didn't clear em.. i just kept em aside to slowly built up and add up.

today itself.. i had to pray countless times just so that i dont lose it and start releasing my anger on others.

when i see.. it hurts..
when i hear.. it hurts..
when i read.. it hurts..

sighs i dunno whtelse to say.
Goodbye.

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