The truth is, someone might mean a whole lot to you, but to them? you're just another friend.
You might lose precious hours of sleep listening to their problems.. yadayada but when it comes to you, they just wouldn't do the same. U might drive out, go totally out of your way to help this friend and really odd hours..wee hours in the morning. But the truth is, they would not do the same for you.
I'm not pin pointing this entry at anyone so please dont be perasan and terasa and all k?
this is just a conclusion i have derived after having such a crappy week with tonnes of unnecessary issues with a few friendships of mine. The ones that i treasure and sincerely care for.
Sometimes it is so hard, trying to be selfless, putting the feelings of others before your own.
because in the end, a good friend would set aside their feelings when they know that their friend is not in the right state of mind or in the best situation. They just need you at that point, to pick them up when they're falling down.
A good friend, would throw the truth in your face whether you'd like to hear it or not REGARDLESS of what you may think of them after doing so.
Because a good friend cares more about your well being than what you may think of them. A good friend wont just want to please your ears but they want you to walk in the right direction. And if there are things in you that requires fixing, they would let you know and try fix it together with you.
Sometimes, regardless of how busy you are, you'd devote your precious time for these people you call friends. Because if they mean something to you, you'd find the time, somehow..sooner or later. but if they're not, simple. U just start giving all kinds of excuses.
Sometimes u might sacrifice a whole lot for a friend, but they either dont appreciate it/take it for granted or they just dont care and they wouldn't do the same for you. Simple, you dont really mean much to them.
I for one really dislike being ffk-ed.
i'm a very busy person. & when i allocate time for you, u must mean smth to me.
But for u to just sudd ffk me for a bad reason goes to show how much you value my time/ me as a friend.
No one likes being ffk-ed. but for me, I'm just really particular about being ffk-ed. I REALLY...dont like it. & it really pisses me off when it happens. truth be told.
sighs..
idk la. this week has been such a LOOOONG week. I just feel so tired and fed up.
some ppl might not appreciate your effort and sacrifices as a friend and would rather blindly adore the so called friends. Some might even accuse you when all you ever had in mind were good motives. But ah well. i guess this is just one of the many realities of life kan?
Some people just dont appreciate you.
So why bother? Simple, you care for them.
Isn't it hurtful/painful tho? Fo Sure!
But its okay. one day. one day. i'd like tho think that they'd finally come to their senses. one day, they'd finally realize that..oh crap. She was a good friend and i took her for granted. She was a true friend and i took her for granted.
Can be so disappointing and upsetting as well.
But thank God, not all my friends are like that.
i'd rather have a few good friends than a thousand 'friends'.
And then theres this opposite sex barrier btw friendships.
so annoying.
very annoying.
but sometimes, u just cant do anything about it.
and then one way or another sooner or late you'd have to deal with the weirdness/awkwardness that somehow arises out of no where.. due to other people or the person in the friendship. And then you'd have to confront the matter.. and then the friendship either makes or breaks.. and the cycle then repeats itself with the same or different people.
is this really how it'd continue to go on?
is there somehow a different route to all of these issues?
This is so tiring.
Truth is, i can see friendship is something that means alot to you. The more friends you have, the more relational issues you can be expecting. And yes, true friend stabs you infront but not all friends are matured/ has sufficient EQ to take the verbal medicines. Perhaps thats when leading by example comes in useful ?
ReplyDeleteAnd bout the barrier between opposite sex thing. Firstly lah... being friendly isn't a bad thing, but you just have to accept it's the in the DNA of the generation. Also because familiarity derives feelings. It is not our role to change people, rather it is us that needs to adjust to people's weaknesses. If you are fed up of having people getting the wrong idea when you're being friendly, i guess it's time you need to be more sensitive.
If you really do care, i suppose you should put yourself in their shoe everytime. n ask yourself "how would i feel if i were a guy and this girl is just sooo friendly n smiley n all.. i mean, not many of my female friends are like that.."
I have alot of sisters at church too but when it comes to friendliness it's really important to evaluate what we speak, cz the tongue has the power to put life and death. If you are speaking to encourage n bring life to people or to tempt another person into falling. And the most important thing is physical contact. I know there are people who love to tease and by nature, girls would hit or pinch the love out of guys (ouch)especially when it relates to their weights *sensitive issue... ;) either way... i guess it's best not to have those physical contact, but it's entirely up to you. No one's gonna judge you but i'm just giving you suggestions.
A.Einstien: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." I guess it applies such that if you feel the need of people not misunderstanding you, perhaps something's gotta adjust.. else you'll be complaining over n over n over again.. if not causing massive torn feelings :)
2things i wanna say :
-I never found u likeable cz you were friendly. Rather cz i know you're a trustworthy person n your heart is right before God. ( and don't ask questions like "how bout now??" if you don't want your ego to be shot out of the sky, Im warning you! )
-I don't stalk Celine's blog fyi, not that i need to. i just drop by for entertainment's sake cz your post gives me good laugh seriously. except this, hence explains the essay. alright! Gym time. take care :)
hey Celine.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason, this particular post attracted my attention. I, too, believe in "Quality over Quantity". However, very sad to note that in today's world, not many people are willing to be "quality" friends, but rather be in the A-list of many people. People will step on you, people will take advantage of you. You will feel hurt, you will feel angry. Get used to it. It's the selfish way of living. Quite common these days.
But rather than being upset, angry and vengeful, why don't spend that amount of time, being happy with friends who do care? With those whom you call and cry to? With those who understand how and what you are going through?
Just my two-cents worth. Friendship is a very easy topic for me because I have been through enough to know and realize who my true friends are. You might still be exploring, so take your time. Don't rush into this. :)
Love you and God bless.