Friends.

No matter how 'good' of a friend someone may appear to you..
Not many can actually really fit into such a category.
Most people just put up a front.
But when their own benefits are at risk, when their own pockets are concerned, they turn on you. Their true colours are shown and it is then when u realize hw 'good' of a friend they actually are.

And that is why, it is true when they say that Good Friends are hard to come by. When you do, keep them close.

I've experienced many friendships/ 'friendships' where they're all close n buddy buddy with you during the good times. But when you're in need, they push you aside. It is disappointing,upsetting and painful. It always is. When someone turns out to be someone totally different. Someone you thought you can rely on but u thought wrong.

That is why i've always held on to the term..
"Quality more than Quantity"

I rather have a few good and close friends who i can rely on and at the same time, be the person they could come to with their problems. I rather have a few good friendships than a bucket full of 'friendships'. Whats the point? waste of time and effort. Not worth it. I take my friendships very seriously and i hold them all close to the heart. I really put in alot of time and effort into my friendships and i really appreciate the people who do the same for me. I would go all out for a good friend though most often than not, not all of them would do the same for you. Then again, sometimes its best not to have expectations. But i'm human. How can i not have expectations? Kid myself not. I would at least have SOME expectations, though i try not to have HIGH expectations.

It is also very difficult sometimes to differentiate the real ones from the fake ones. Some people are just born to be such good actors and actresses! That is the part where you get hurt.

But i guess it is during your times of struggle when you find out who are your true friends.
You'll get hurt, finding out the truth about some people.
But at the same time, you'll be blessed to know who the true,genuine and sincere ones are.

Sometimes, not a single person would be there for you and sometimes, it turns out that everyone was just an acquaintance rather than a so called friend. I guess that is the point where you'd really feel like crap and all.. feel so unworthy and all.. feel so unwanted and all.. yada yada blada blada..

But dont forget that theres always at least, one person.
I guess you prolly know where im headed to by now.
But yes, it is God himself. He is always there and he never changes.
Yesterday,today,tomorrow the same. He never fails us.
He doesn't love us more because of our worldly achievements nor does he love us less because of the sins we commit.
Unlike Humans, God's love doesn't depreciate just because of a wrong doing or a mistake we make along the way. It takes forever for us to earn the trust of Humans.. to earn their love.. but the minute we do something wrong, this love from man could easily turn to hatred. A love, apparently so strong and sincere.. could turn to hatred, Just like that.

But God's love is unconditional.

Dont you forget, When You were a nobody in the eyes of the world, You were Someone in the eyes of God. For it is Him who first found us and not us, who first found Him.

Sometimes i tend to rely on Humans too much. I set too high of an expectation on them and always end up getting hurt in the end. Because the truth is, no matter how close of a friend or a family member someone is to you, they'll disappoint you somewhere somehow sometime. Humans, we're all not perfect. We all have our flaws.. we all have our sinful nature. And hence, God is the sole person you could ever fully rely on. Because he is God and He is all powerful and Perfect. He is Holy and he is Flawless.

He. Is. God.

He should be our cornerstone. He should be our solid rock that we fall on and fall back to all the time. He should be our shelter and our tower of refuge and strength.

True happiness doesn't come from man.. but it is from God where true happiness,love and Joy is found.
God gives and God can take.
Before you try to be right before any human being, Be right before God.

This is gonna be off topic... But..

Before you try looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, Be the Right person FIRST, before God.

I guess in the end, God is the only one who we should ever care of pleasing and seek approval from.
Not all of you would understand whatever i'm trying to say or why i'm saying whatever i'm saying.
But i wanna share with you, my testimony.

That when many times man and woman failed me.. both insignificant ones and significant ones in my life, God was always there to mend my broken heart. God was always there to comfort me with His love and assurance that I am Loved.. regardless of what i've done.. or what people think of me. God has changed my life in many ways that i can and cannot explain. I have experienced God in the most amazing ways and even after all i've done in life and on earth, God still looks after me.. and I know that this is true because every single thing that has happened in my life, has taught me to always slip away to Jesus..to slip away to God when the world is overwhelming and consuming me. He has always reminded me from time to time to slip away to Him like Jesus did when he was busy healing and sharing the Word of God. Jesus always found time to go back to God despite of the crazy workload he had on his hands. During my lowest points in life, God always reminded me that He is God and that He is Able.

That He is my Rock and my Cornerstone.
God hears our prayers, friends.
But how often do you listen? Are you listening hard enough?
Are you patient enough? And when you pray, do you even have Faith in whatever you're praying for?
And what is praying to you? Isit like a wish to a fairy god mother kinda thing? if so, i'm sorry to disappoint you but prayer is not as such. I dont know what prayer is to you, but to me..

Prayer is about leaving whatever you're praying for into the hands of God.
And whatever He chooses to do with it, He shall.
It is then when you have to have Faith in Him..and to know that He is Able and that He only has plans to prosper us and not to harm Us.

I have prayed many times and many times, my prayers have not been answered. I pray still. I listen still. Because many times when i cry out to my Father in heaven.. when i am in pain.. when i am broken..and in tears.. I know He hears me..because He has come to my rescue..many many times. And that is why i know that He hears us.

This entry was suppose to be a short one abt Friends and 'Friends'.
But turns out there was more than just that to be shared in the end. haha. I'm sorry if you think i'm long winded. Guess i get carried away sometimes.. but whatever was 'penned' down was definitely thoughts and feelings from deep within.. =)

I hope you learnt something.
I apologize for the out-of-topic-ness sometimes..
and the messy flow.. but i was just really typing out whatever as it came flowing.. haha..
Quite a jumbled up flow of thoughts today i guess..

Till nxt time!
xoxo.!