You know, i've been thinking alot lately.
One true fact.
Sometimes we get so annoyed and frustrated when someone does something all the time.. Like, a close friend teasing you and calling you names.. or a parent who constantly nags you to blow your hair dry.. or to drink more water.. or to go down and eat your dinner.. to sleep early.. or a close friend constantly smacking you for no good reason.
All these things.. At present times, we may wish it would just STOP! coz it can get pretty annoying.. irritating.. whatever you wanna label it. But one true fact about this? You'd realize that once they finally stop doing what they've always done, You will miss it.. SO BADLY. You'd wish it never stopped. You'd wish things would go back to the way it used to be.
Likewise, a friend getting upset or angry with you easily..
Sometimes you'd feel.. oh gossssh.. so easy angry! like tht also angry! and yada yada..
or.. Why so easy emo ?! she always emo-ing! emo kid!
But when they stop feeling all these things towards you..
You'd suddenly feel a wall between the both of you and you'd feel like.. Man.. why doesn't he or she get angry with me anymore? why dont he/she get upset when i do this anymore?!
The reason why they feel all these feelings towards you because of your actions and all.. it's cause they care for you.. and you mean something to them. If you meant nothing, and you were just another hi bye person, Do you think they'd care feeling this way? Likewise with family members. The reason why they nag you or siblings, when we easily get upset with each other.. its because they love you. it is because you mean something to them and they care.. and that is why they feel upset or get easily angry when you do whtever you do. well, this isn't always the case..
sometimes some people are just so sensitive and emotional. But i am speaking from an average..normal.. person perspective? hahaha.. i dunno.. but yeah.. i realize that many times we ask ourselves this question.. " Why do i even bother?! " and you feel so angry with yourself for caring SO much! U feel like, they dont even deserve such care and love from me! But in the end, you still do whatever you do, because you care and you love and they mean something to you. Also, then again, Who Is deserving of such care and love? we're all humans. we all make mistakes. =)
I constantly have a battle with myself.
All the time. when i'm caught up in certain situations.. i'd bomb myself with a million questions. Why are you doing this?! Why cant you just let it go and care less? Why can't you just ................. ~ and the list goes on. Sometimes, i feel stupid for continuing to do something that secretly hurts me. But that have always been my weakness. I'd rather suppress all my feelings and hide it behind a smile than see the person that i care for feel bad or feel sad. Lets just say i dont really care about what i feel. or rather, i choose to keep what i feel, deep down inside. All to myself. and deal with it myself. I know this isn't a healthy thing to do. Sometimes, instead of making the relationship better, it kills the relationship. But its just SO DIFFICULT for me to tell someone, Hey, look here,you really really hurt me this time. BUT if i do tell you, if i do confront you, it's something really Big and something really difficult for me to do.. but the fact that i still push myself to do it? You must mean a great deal to me. hahaa.. so semua-semua yang pernah diconfronted, bangga lah anda. =P unless of course, we've never had such conflicts in our friendships till now. haha. =D
Aihs anyways, i've just been having alot on my mind lately larhs..
So confusing and complicating. =(
I guess the conclusion for this entry is ..to not take for granted, whatever you have now. Even though sometimes you may find it annoying.. trust me. You'll miss it when they stop.