Today is Good Friday.
And so happen, in class today.. something happened which made me feel really down.
i have a lecturer.. who have high levels or sarcasm, criticizes without thinking of others feelings, cracks jokes without thinking of others, and many feel intimidated by him when questioned. He suddenly asked about Good Friday. what is it about? why is it good? does this mean that every other friday is bad? whats so important? Christians in the class?
Everyone kept silent. then 2 of us spoke up. and said, Good Friday is about the day Jesus was crucified on the cross and the day he died.. then we got cut off. And he said, Die? isn't it suppose to be a Bad friday now? i dont see someone dying as a good thing. And we said.. He died on the cross to save us from our sins. and He said, but isn't everyone of u sinning again over and over again? so whats the point? and how u know its this particular date and this particular friday? we tried our best to answer.. then he started asking.. who else christian in this class? and no one spoke up. but there were many others.
Maybe because they couldn't be bothered because it was Him, the sarcastic guy. but maybe because they were scared that He would make fun of them when they tried to explain. But still, that very moment brought me back to the scene where Peter was questioned many times whether he was a follower of Christ and he denied Jesus 3 times. I knew there were people who knew exactly what to say and how to say it. but everyone just kept quiet. and what stunned me was when he asked.. Eh u christian right? Answer? = Er.. yeah.. but not really. ............... ?????????? so yeah. sighs dunno la.
And Me. I knew what to say, but i couldn't put it in professional beautiful words. my mind was constantly distracted by the thought of whether i should even bother to tell him what it really is about. Because knowing him, sometimes he just want to know so that he can make fun of you or criticize u. I was thinking if i should even bother. What failed to cross my mind at tht very point of time were the rest of my classmates in the room. I failed to remember that even if my lecturer was asking for the sake of making fun of my faith, it was nevertheless an opportunity for me to share with the rest who didn't know what Good Friday is actually about and what is the significance of it. And then finally he asked one of my classmates who then placed all his words beautifully with just the right choice of words. he managed to enlighten my lecturer about what it really is about.. but along the way,being himself, he made fun here and there. but anyways, my classmate said out everything i wanted to say. so i guess thats good.
anyways, i just felt really disappointed with myself.
the bible tells us to be equipped and to share the word whenever we are asked or when there was an opportunity. But i wasn't equipped enough. i wasn't equipped enough to answer all the questions being shot at me.. and i failed to grab hold of the opportunity that was right infront of me. I truly felt like such a failure.
sighs. so i was really upset with myself after that. it was not so much about what my lecturer said or did. but because of me failing to use the opportunity given.
anyways, i ws glad tht after class, when i ws talking abt this to my classmate, i suddenly got to share with her about my own experience and about my walk with God. and because of discussing this issue of wht happened in class, i managed to share more about My walk with God and about the word with 2 friends today.and i'm gonna be buying them Bible Bytes. to help them and get them started. because i know that it really got me started. and it really helped me alot.
So yeah.just wanted to share tht. ws reli upset the whole evening.
its 2.12am and i got home around 1am .. went to JoMie's hse to watch Passion of Christ with the youths just now.. and the scene of Peter at the temple really struck me. i had teary eyes then. but during the crucification and the whipping.. i didn't had teary eyes. maybe because the scene of peter reminded me of what happened in class today. ='(
But anyways, This is the Day that the Lord has made, And I will rejoice and be glad in it. For my Redeemer Lives. and this is the day, when I was Justified and save by Christ's blood that was shed on the cross for me.. and all of you out there. cleansed of my sin, so that i could escape the consequence of sin which is death.
That when Christ died on the cross, the Holy curtain was torn and that now, all of us can talk to God freely without having to go through someone or without any barriers.
We are the reason, for this very day.