700th.

Its the 700th post.

Anyways, today, today was just like one of those days.. Like yesterday.

Everything tht i've been bottling up inside is starting to overwhelm me. I thought i'd be able to sleep these things off slowly by slowly.. Day by day. But looks like its not working..?

Sighs i dunno. Today was just a completely .. I dunno what word to use.. Stressful? Tiring? Annoying? Emotional? I've no idea. Maybe its a mixture of All..of em. Or smth. Sighs. All i know is that its getting worse n i dont really know what to do about it..?

I admit. Words like pray abt it and all have appeared in my blog. But words are only so much if not an aCtion is carried out. I havent really sat down.. Set time aside just to pray.. Or to talk to God. I feel drifted/drifting. I've been so caught up with my busy lifestyle tht even God became less of a priority in my life. The only time i ever pray is before i eat n before i slp. But prayers before my meals are not as meaningful n sincere as it used to be for me. I do it nowadays coz i was taught so. And i did so. Btt nowadays i just do it in a rush. Which just doesn't mean aything to me anymore?

I just feel so.. Dry.. I have not been making the eFfort to talk to God like hw i'd make the effort to talk to my close friends n to stay in touch.

I am..
I have.. Lost touch with God and i haven't been keeping in touch with Him..i've set aside this friend of mine. I've set aside this Daddy of mine. This saviour this God of mine..

How could i.. ?

I wont say anything like oh! Yeaaa! Imma so totally start reading the bible n praying everyday.. But i will try to start again.. No. Not start again. But contiinue my wallk with God from where i left off.

In fb i said.
Who else do i turn to?
Someone said christ.
I said i know.. Thts Why i said else.
He said, why do u need to rely on humans?

Do i?
COz in the worship songs i sing.. 'all i need is you.. All i need is you Lord.. Its you lord.'

so do i need humans? Maybe i do when God uses them to reach me? Sighs i dunno.

No solutions nor answers.
I guess i jst need to selah.
To look back n reflect.

Coz right nw the question in my head keeps making me feel like i dont have anyone to turn to anymore at the moment. I feel isolated. I think i've isolated myself.. I dunno. No idea. Im a confused child atm.

Xoxo.