Tuesday, July 27, 2010

700th.

Its the 700th post.

Anyways, today, today was just like one of those days.. Like yesterday.

Everything tht i've been bottling up inside is starting to overwhelm me. I thought i'd be able to sleep these things off slowly by slowly.. Day by day. But looks like its not working..?

Sighs i dunno. Today was just a completely .. I dunno what word to use.. Stressful? Tiring? Annoying? Emotional? I've no idea. Maybe its a mixture of All..of em. Or smth. Sighs. All i know is that its getting worse n i dont really know what to do about it..?

I admit. Words like pray abt it and all have appeared in my blog. But words are only so much if not an aCtion is carried out. I havent really sat down.. Set time aside just to pray.. Or to talk to God. I feel drifted/drifting. I've been so caught up with my busy lifestyle tht even God became less of a priority in my life. The only time i ever pray is before i eat n before i slp. But prayers before my meals are not as meaningful n sincere as it used to be for me. I do it nowadays coz i was taught so. And i did so. Btt nowadays i just do it in a rush. Which just doesn't mean aything to me anymore?

I just feel so.. Dry.. I have not been making the eFfort to talk to God like hw i'd make the effort to talk to my close friends n to stay in touch.

I am..
I have.. Lost touch with God and i haven't been keeping in touch with Him..i've set aside this friend of mine. I've set aside this Daddy of mine. This saviour this God of mine..

How could i.. ?

I wont say anything like oh! Yeaaa! Imma so totally start reading the bible n praying everyday.. But i will try to start again.. No. Not start again. But contiinue my wallk with God from where i left off.

In fb i said.
Who else do i turn to?
Someone said christ.
I said i know.. Thts Why i said else.
He said, why do u need to rely on humans?

Do i?
COz in the worship songs i sing.. 'all i need is you.. All i need is you Lord.. Its you lord.'

so do i need humans? Maybe i do when God uses them to reach me? Sighs i dunno.

No solutions nor answers.
I guess i jst need to selah.
To look back n reflect.

Coz right nw the question in my head keeps making me feel like i dont have anyone to turn to anymore at the moment. I feel isolated. I think i've isolated myself.. I dunno. No idea. Im a confused child atm.

Xoxo.

1 comment: