Okay. Heart pouring session.
I had a good time in Perth, and i was really happy. But now that i'm back, everything feels so strange still. Because i've been so busy eversince before exams up till now, i hardly had time to spend at home. I was always busy with something. So it was really good in Perth.. i got to chill and relax and put my busy life on hold.
When i got back from Genting, i felt so weird to be home. Got the 'not used to it' feeling.. and before i could get used to it again, i left for Perth after being home for only 4 days. Another 2 weeks away from home. Heh. anyways, when i got back from Perth, i've been struggling to adjust myself to alot of things around me. I also feel still, so disconnected from everyone here. Because i've been so busy and not forgetting how i was so isolated from the world starting 2 months before my exams, i feel even more so, disconnected from the people around me in Malaysia. I know i've alot of catching up to do, alot of outing owed, but sometimes i just feel so.. lost. Where do i start? where do i begin?
U know, after Genting, i suddenly had so many fans.. all of a sudden, so many people were adding me in facebook and following me on twitter.. some of them, i have met because they came up to me and talked to me personally when i was in Genting.But some, i find really hard to rmb or recall. I feel so lost! But all of these things, happening in such a short amount of time is just so overwhelming! and i cant believe how, today, 22 of June marks 1 month since my exams ended! I think i'm caught up in those moments where u just feel so lost in time because so many things happened over such a short period of time. I feel so behind time! Still trying so hard to catch up with everything that is happening around me.!
And on the day i got back from Perth, a company i used to work with called me to ask me if i could start work. so the next day i went to the office for a meeting. It felt so weird to be back there because i've had so many memories with so many people there. But when i went back this time, there were so many new faces.. and my boss went like.. "do u know who is Celine?" then she opened a video on Youtube.. a video of me during the Scotch-Brite roadshow.. dancing.. leading.. talking.. yada yada.. i felt.. SO SHY. and after the video.. she went.. " THIS..is Celine.." and all these new faces just looked at me with different different expressions..
Me: can i run away now?
so anyways, i start work on Monday. So fast. and i'll be heading a roadshow in late july to early august. All the other supervisors and all will be bz with another roadshow.. so this upcoming roadshow would be lead by yours truly. I really wonder how things will turn out but i am excited to take on new challenges that come my way. Only way to move forward no? i rmb how discouraged i was when i lead the Scotch-brite roadshow last year.. but Thank God, i had friends to pull me up again.. and it all ended well in the end. This time, i feel completely on my own. Working with new people and all. Nervous. But.. Bring it on! ;)
U know, eversince all these recent events, i suddenly find alot of people looking up to me as their role model.. or treating me like the person they wish to be. HOW STRESSFUL IS THAT?! u've no idea. I think i am just the same like any other ordinary person.. being used by God in an extraordinary way.
All of these? it's God. God's works. God's plans and not mine.
So yeah, i honestly feel very honored but sometimes.. i cant help but ask.. Why?!
Just like how i dont get why so many people read my blog because i really dont think theres anything that special like "Places to visit in msia!" or reviews of movies or reviews of good places to eat and all..
nothing like that.. but more of my daily rants ..my life experience and daily thoughts.
So yeah, i wont deny that the "Why" question pops up ..ALL THE TIME.
But i will always be more than happy to be God's tool..whether it is in other people's lives or in whatever plans God has for me. I am honestly excited to see the doors God is opening for me and i am optimistic that there are many more to come.
I really hope i get to sort out this lost,confused,mix up feelings that i currently have. The behind time and catching up moment. I am also currently in the.. Who do i turn to and where do i go to phase.. AGAIN.
oh wells. part and parcels of life.