Be Equipped.

Today is Good Friday.

And so happen, in class today.. something happened which made me feel really down.
Sighs.

i have a lecturer.. who have high levels or sarcasm, criticizes without thinking of others feelings, cracks jokes without thinking of others, and many feel intimidated by him when questioned. He suddenly asked about Good Friday. what is it about? why is it good? does this mean that every other friday is bad? whats so important? Christians in the class?

Everyone kept silent. then 2 of us spoke up. and said, Good Friday is about the day Jesus was crucified on the cross and the day he died.. then we got cut off. And he said, Die? isn't it suppose to be a Bad friday now? i dont see someone dying as a good thing. And we said.. He died on the cross to save us from our sins. and He said, but isn't everyone of u sinning again over and over again? so whats the point? and how u know its this particular date and this particular friday? we tried our best to answer.. then he started asking.. who else christian in this class? and no one spoke up. but there were many others.

Maybe because they couldn't be bothered because it was Him, the sarcastic guy. but maybe because they were scared that He would make fun of them when they tried to explain. But still, that very moment brought me back to the scene where Peter was questioned many times whether he was a follower of Christ and he denied Jesus 3 times. I knew there were people who knew exactly what to say and how to say it. but everyone just kept quiet. and what stunned me was when he asked.. Eh u christian right? Answer? = Er.. yeah.. but not really. ............... ?????????? so yeah. sighs dunno la.

And Me. I knew what to say, but i couldn't put it in professional beautiful words. my mind was constantly distracted by the thought of whether i should even bother to tell him what it really is about. Because knowing him, sometimes he just want to know so that he can make fun of you or criticize u. I was thinking if i should even bother. What failed to cross my mind at tht very point of time were the rest of my classmates in the room. I failed to remember that even if my lecturer was asking for the sake of making fun of my faith, it was nevertheless an opportunity for me to share with the rest who didn't know what Good Friday is actually about and what is the significance of it. And then finally he asked one of my classmates who then placed all his words beautifully with just the right choice of words. he managed to enlighten my lecturer about what it really is about.. but along the way,being himself, he made fun here and there. but anyways, my classmate said out everything i wanted to say. so i guess thats good.

anyways, i just felt really disappointed with myself.
the bible tells us to be equipped and to share the word whenever we are asked or when there was an opportunity. But i wasn't equipped enough. i wasn't equipped enough to answer all the questions being shot at me.. and i failed to grab hold of the opportunity that was right infront of me. I truly felt like such a failure.

sighs. so i was really upset with myself after that. it was not so much about what my lecturer said or did. but because of me failing to use the opportunity given.

anyways, i ws glad tht after class, when i ws talking abt this to my classmate, i suddenly got to share with her about my own experience and about my walk with God. and because of discussing this issue of wht happened in class, i managed to share more about My walk with God and about the word with 2 friends today.and i'm gonna be buying them Bible Bytes. to help them and get them started. because i know that it really got me started. and it really helped me alot.

So yeah.just wanted to share tht. ws reli upset the whole evening.
its 2.12am and i got home around 1am .. went to JoMie's hse to watch Passion of Christ with the youths just now.. and the scene of Peter at the temple really struck me. i had teary eyes then. but during the crucification and the whipping.. i didn't had teary eyes. maybe because the scene of peter reminded me of what happened in class today. ='(

But anyways, This is the Day that the Lord has made, And I will rejoice and be glad in it. For my Redeemer Lives. and this is the day, when I was Justified and save by Christ's blood that was shed on the cross for me.. and all of you out there. cleansed of my sin, so that i could escape the consequence of sin which is death.

That when Christ died on the cross, the Holy curtain was torn and that now, all of us can talk to God freely without having to go through someone or without any barriers.

We are the reason, for this very day.

xoxo.!

AiJoh! =P

Soweeee that i've been MIA-ED for so longg!

its just been a really busy month! test every week for diff subjects and my business mock exam is coming up next week! PLUS.. presentations and all the revision to prepare for my finals.. its crazy la! aihs..

but thats life. THO. im really glad that i still have a life la. LOL. ohh maaaan... so many of my friends started their lifeless studying mode edy.. maybe i should too.. but then.. again.. i always remind myself that studying isn't the main part about life man.. so many students nowadays study like its the only thing to achieve in the world and the most important thing and like.. they study till studies can become the death of them.thts just so scary la!

Maaaan...i dunno how they do it.. =S

its good to some extent, bad to some extent.

then again, different people have different ways of looking at life.

Alot of things has been going on.. and on 14 april i think my car brokedown..and i had the crappiest day la i tell you. Sighs.. and im so sorry CHUA CHI WING. that i didn't wish you and i honestly admit that i forgot. My day was so crappy that  all i wanted to do was to go home and sleep. =( and it didn't pass thru my mind tht it was ur birthday.  =( sighsss.. felt so terrible.. and few days before ur bday  ws looking at the video tht we took when i planned tht birthday suprise for you..

miss those times. sighs. =(

IM SORRRYYYY.. SO SORRRY CHUA CHI WINGGGG!!!!
hope u dont stay mad at me. =S

anyways ya lah alot of things happened tht day felt so teruk.but i'll tell u more abt it in detail next time. kinda need to slp soon. then wht else.. besides exams stress... and test and exams going on..

i guess got alot of other stuffs regarding friends and family that have been an issue..
but i guess its always like tht..sure have probs with friends or family at one point of time..
and confusion about whether i should stay or go..

okay not making sense. but yeahhhhhh.. since now i dont have a car anymore.. mum had to follow dad out to work and kesian her lor. she reach work so early and come home so late. sighs.. =(

and i've been reaching coll at 8am like tht or later sumtimes..but in the morning la.. and go back late after dad finish work coz i come and go with him.. so have to follow his timing.. but anyways i kinda like it this way. more time for me to study.. bt everytime i reach home i feel really tired edy.. so yeah..

reach home, either revise or do notes.. then no time to go online.. or rather too tired to stay up to go online. =P im actually zombie-fying edy now.. HAHA.

and i've alot of pictures to share with u lah! =)
im not all emo only k. i actually happen to have a happy life as well. =D LOL.
im blessed la. i really am. =) its unbelievable and rare to have such friends and family around me.such caring and loving friends.. seriously..

anyways lately, i've been pretty disappointed abt smth..
actually its been going on for a while.. but i guess it finally got to me..
or finally sank in yday.. and i felt really down..

but then again, i felt really happy for some reasons as well.. as i was pampered with chocolates and gifts! =P
edwin brought kit kat for me! =DDD and kim bought for me after tht also! HAHA.. and today Louis bought me Kit Kat also! =DDDDDDD yessss! i super love Kit Kat k.. =)))))))) it can make me really bubbly and happy. hehee... i become a 5 yr old again everytime i eat kit kat.. ^.^

its so yummyyyyy~! =))))))))))

then at night mummy came home and passed me two boxes wrapped up in present wrappers.
and she said.. Nah.. Here is ur early birthday present and here is ur early christmas present!
i was like.. O.O! THATS REAAAALLLYYY EARLYYYY! hahahahahahaha.. and i tore it open like a little girl.. and ahhh I LOVE MY PREZZIESSSS! =)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

she got me one lovelaaay purple dinner purse and one turqoise handbag! =DDDDDDDDDDDDDD! ahhhh! felt so happyyyy! hahahaa.. maaaan! =)) cant stop smiling! =P and u noe wht? i realized tht i'm really not that into accessories, shoes, clothes, BUT... i'm really into BAGS! =) YES! IM A BAG PERSON! hahaha.. i just love getting bags lah! i realize tht im extra happy when i get bags compared when my mum bought me earings necklaces or shoes.. yeah.. haha.. i have always loved looking at bags.. all sorts. handbags to bag packs. even though i may already have bags i still like to look at them.. and all.. heee. =)

definitely not a high heel shoe person.. not a shoe person..=P
anyways kay la.. just wanted to update u briefly.. of how i've been.
so many birthdays have passed and birthdays are still coming! rawr.. banyak nyerrrr!

anyhoo! i shall update properly one day when im free-er! finals on the 27th of May.
dont play play edy wei. =P

xoxo.!

Shoulda Woulda Coulda are the last words of a Fool.

Money isn't everything.

As i sat in the coffee shop this morning, feeling upset..and angry..

i started observing my surroundings because i had nothing else to do..

and i didn't feel like eating.. and it was so hard to smile..or put on a normal face.

i was frowning, like how a little girl would. 

and suddenly, a father and his daughter caught my attention.

She was probably around 5-7? no idea.. but she was a lil girl.. she tried opening the can drink, but it was too difficult for her.. and so she asked her dad for helped.. and while her dad was opening the can drink for her.. she waited excitedly and kept smiling from ear to ear. she seemed so happy! and was like *heheeeee~!* kinda face. LOL. on her wrist, she had a row of colourful rubber bands.

And after drinking her drink,she took out one of em from her wrist and started playing the guessing game with her dad. u know the game? where u had to choose the right hole?? haha i've no idea how to explain this game to you. but its a really old school-ed game. ie: u put 3 fingers in the rubber band. both right and left. and..man this is hard. LOL. ANYWAAAAY. its something i used to do alot last time.

At first her dad didn't wanna play and guess.. but in the end he did. and he took the rubber band and played with her.. and let her guess instead. and i just watched them play and u know.. it just brought back alot of memories and alot of realization and thoughts to my mind..

its so stupid to fight over petty things. one of them? MONEY.

people always say money makes the world go round yada bada bla bla.

but seriously? Money isn't everything. 

its nothing if your relationships with your family friends boy friends girl friends relatives are crap. especially ur relationship with God.

Actually, what is life to you? working working working studying studying to earn alot of money money moneyyyyyy and MONEY. is that all? yes, it is no doubt that money is part of survival on earth. but it is definitely not EVERYTHING. it is definitely not the only thing that life is suppose to revolve around.

what is the meaning of my life if i had billions of money but a whole lot of broken relationships? 

it means nothing. and i am absolutely nothing without God in my life. 

what is my purpose in life?

and is money more important than my relationship with my family members?

no.. no it isn't. i dont wanna fight because of petty things especially when..it concerns money. it is plain stupidity. seriously. gahhh.

and it is frustrating when ppl assume tht it is because of money that u are upset.

like i said again, money isn't everything. 

Sigh but anyways, i had a good message in church. coincidence? i doubt so.

when i went to church, the sermon was relating to my situation in the morning.

when i read the bible verse the pastor asked us to read out..

i felt so shocked.. felt as if God was talking to me directly..

but yeah.. to all my brothers and sisters in christ out there..

How is ur current relationship with God?

has He been replaced by the stress at work, studies? exams? boy friends? girl friends? family members? friends? hobbies? gaming? dancing? music? bands? facebook, blogging?

has he been replaced? Has He become ur last resort? ur *i'm free now! lets talk!* ? have ur walked with God become a sunday routine thing? is He not the center of ur life anymore?

coz if it has, u shud really start thinking about how ur gonna change this situation..

remember, God gives. and He can take it back as well.. whenever he wants.

and i'm not saying u shud put Him as number one just so that ur life will be a happy and smooth sailing one and so that He wont take things or people in ur life away..it doesn't work that way.

But i guess, we should really try not to forget Him whenever things are going well for us and only remember Him when we're having problems. i mean, put urself in His shoes. if u were in tht position? im sure u wouldn't feel nice either.

especially if u rmb Him only when u go to church on sunday and the rest of the week, u live life as if u nvr went to church and then become oh-so-holy on sunday again. i mean, whats the point? who are u trying to impress? or bluff for tht matter? i dont get people who go to church as one person and become a completely different person the minute they step out of church.

contradicting much? hypocrite much?

it is hard i know to follow.. and we do make mistakes..we do go wrong at times. but i guess what matters is about getting ourselves back on track, onto the right path again. and not stray even further.

and just like every other human, i'm trying.

xoxo.!

I SMELL LIKE DURIAN! =D

HEYYYYY.! =)

Today was a super tiring day! but i really enjoyed my day! hahaha.. had to wake up super early for dance class coz Celica and katoon network had a competition to go to in the noon.. so yeah morning class for the whole of april.. then i had lunch with lil bro and headed to college. TORT CLASSSSSSS! T_T 2pm-7pm which only lasted till 6pm actually. hee. we all brain dead before 7pm. ANYWAYS!

guess wht happened to me? i tried to avoid the crazy jam at brickfields caused by inconsiderate people who double parked and caused alot of jam lah! so... i made a u-turn, realize i was heading to federal highway which i tried to avoid but made ONE wrong turn and ended up on federal highway anyways. T_T NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! so headed back to CHERAS .. AGAIN! OMGOSSSSH..can u belive itttttt?! the highway leaded me all the way back to tmn connaught there till i can finally make a u-turn to go back to kl sentral.. MOUUU AHHHHHHHHHHH~! T_T passed the cheras tol 4 times. for nothing. ohh man.. i ws so happy ..everything so relaxed and all.. everything going smooth till i made tht wrong turn. NYEH. so i traveled from cheras to kl sentral to cheras and back to kl sentral. how funnn! =.=! its okay if the car im drving is like.. NORMAL lah u noe? but the car im driving is like.. on the verge of dying but i have to use it still anyways to get around. NOT FUN. not fun. but anyhoo.. i emo-ed a while ni la.. when i manage to reach coll and find parking i was kinda okay d la. also, my lil bro made me cheer up abit..

like, after i made the u-turn to go back to kl sentral, i ws about to use my own money for toll again..and suddenly he hand me money for the toll so that i feel less crappy? hahaha.. it was a small amount but it meant alot to me la. =) its lil things like these that i appreciate alot. thanks alot ban ho!

so yup, during class i was okay edy. LOL. my classmate even said " i dunno why, but u make me feel like ur very small girl today.. " then he went.. "Awww mei mei~! " LOL! =.=! hahaha..maybe coz i was very hyper in class and kinda sot.. okay la.. mayb i'm sot most of the time..when im in my normal state.. or if u haven't experienced my sot-ness.. i guess u just dont know me well enough yet.? =)

but it was good. and after class, drove bro and myself to curve.. waited for mum to finish work and went for durian with parents! =D! DURIAN BUFFET MIND YOU! :D! hehehe.. ;) and yesssss! i ate like ALOT! more than my mum. and dad declared me the daughter of the king of durian aka HIM! lol! he can eat one whole basket of durians lor! IM SERIOUS! he's a crazy big fan of durians! LOL! but yeah that was my dinner and i'll be needing tonnes of coconut water and cooling stuffs after this.. dont wanna fall sick coz of durians now do i? =P

AND I FEEL SO BLESSED AND LOVED LAH.!
my mum bought me super pretty dresses today! =) 3 of them!
ahhh..=D =D =D so NOW. i dont only have 5 new bracelets from Sabah and keychains..
but i also have 3 new dresses! i reli reli weally like em! =))))))
AND. hahaha.. she randomly came home one day with futsal shoes for me and benroy! LOL!?
yeah she bought futsal shoes for benroy and i..coz they were on promotion..
and she thought we may want it..now i have a reason to play futsal more frequently. =))))))))))))))))) i only played futsal once! haha.. =P

DONT I JUST HAVE THE CUTEST SWEETEST MUMMY EVER?!

i know i do. =)

xoxo.!

A week at the Ong's.!

Hey guys! i spent the week at Kim's place coz mum went to Sabah for her company conference thingy.. so i didn't have to fetch her to work.. = can stayover! =D

Anyways my days spent there are always nice.. especially when i'm with my bestfriend. =) hahaha and u guys probably know about the McD Big breakfast thing that has been going around right? well we tried to have it on the 30th which was the second last day for the offer. but we were too late. =( BUT! we told ourselves that we MUST have it on the 31st! which was like..the last day for the offer. But... we kinda woke up late the next day. HAHA. woke up at like.. 9.30am? or later? no idea. coz we stayed up studying till 1am plus and only managed to slp around 2am.. 

so we rushed like siao weih! went to a petronas-McD branch nearby. GUESS WHT?! the line was so crazy long! omgosh?! hahaha..kinda expected it tho.. then we rushed to endah parade! LOL. but GUESS WHAT?! stupid branch didn't have breakfast.. =.=! only the normal meals.it was already 10.30am then. LOL. and being the crazy US.! we RAAAAAAAAAAAAAN to her car and went to another branch. this time the Shell-Mcd near the sg.besi toll. LOL! CRAZY RIGHT?! 3 different branch in 30minutes! and guess wht?! Jeng Jeng Jeng Jeng~~~~! :

we made it! we were the last two people to get the Mc D Big Breakfast set on offer! hehe.. *tho..it was actually 11am+ edy.. shhh.. =P* technically, we wouldn't have gotten it. but somehow, we did! so tht was cool. =)) AND WHATS EVEN COOLER?!

I GOT AN EXTRA SAUSAGE MCMUFFIN AND AN EXTRA EGG! DOUBLE THE PORTION YO! mwahahahahahahahhaa~! Just my day... =) *dadidumdidum~~~* =D

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH~! so cool right?! hahaha.. it was good.. we felt like highschool kids again tht morning..especially when we were running to her car.. LOL! priceless moments. =)

My stayover was great. Big Breakfast goal achieved was definitely one of the highlights. but one highlight that made my stayover this week a very memorable one was when.. Kim and I just stared at the night lights..the city lights ..with strong winds blowing through our hairs.. and when we just talked.. TWIN MOMENT~!

i had an economic test today. and yday night i was really stress about it. =( and when i get too stressed up, i get breathing difficulties. =( yeah, i do. so yeah i was having breathing difficulties, and my tummy just felt funny. didn't it much but i felt as if my food was right up to my throat. just felt really uncomfortable and crappy coz i couldn't absorb edy. felt so emo.. i just went to the window and pout with my palms resting on my cheeks .. let out a big sigh and just stared out the window. then kim came and stood beside me.. not looking at each other.. we just talked.. and talked.. 

that was a very precious moment for me. really. =)

i dunno.. it was just a really meaningful one for me. meaningful moment. i'm weird. i take the random-est moments which may mean absolutely nth to people but it means a whole lot to me.

anyhoo!. i had my test today and i glad i went even though i really didn't feel like sitting for it. i did alright i guess. its a good exposure for sure. tho most of us were really stressed out coz the questions were kinda tough. but i'd see it as a new style of questions? dunno how to put it. but definitely fresh. 

celebrated Mc's bday as well this week! =)

and here's rachel taking a picture of the super cute chicken that was trying to run away from her! hahahaha! the chicken super round and have super short legs kay! SO FLUFFY! =D hahaha..but seeing rachel trying to take a shot of it was just hillarious.. hahaha..

and ohhh~! u know, class ended early today coz of the test. so i sat down and waited for my dad to come pick me after his work. and theres this classmate whom i used to talk to quite alot at the begining coz we both took the ktm home. but i havent been taking the ktm so hardly talked just a hi-bye kinda thing. but today got to catch up with him again..and to my suprise.. he actually still remembers things i said on a random day when we were walking back to the ktm station. silly dreams of mine. he actually rmbered and asked me about it. hahaa.. wow. =) kinda meant alot to me. i appreciate these kinda things.

and i had to wait for dad for 3 hours.. and he was gonna catch the 7.16pm train.. and he found out.. he was like.." heyy u want me to wait with you? its okay..i dont mind you know.. i could take the later train.." i was like.."im used to it.. =) dun wry im fine" and he kept insisting but of course i insisted as well. im kinda used to waiting for long hours edy. whether alone or not. but i guess it was reli sweet. =) and he was like," u hungry? want me to get anything for you?"

most of u reading this would think that.. OH! HE TOTALLY LIKES HER LA. but i can assure you that it is pure friend to friend kind of care and concern. i mean c'mon. anyone who knows me personally, i can so tell the diff btwn a sincere friend and someone who likes me la. hahaa.. so yeah. thts whats so nice about? its rare to find such sincere guys without scheming plans nowadays. i do meet guy friends like this day to day. but yeah just sharing my experience today. felt it was smth to share. Made me happy to know that i've such caring friends who are genuine and sincere la. who wont yeah?

OKAAAAY.

super long day, again for me tomorrow. dance from 9am - 10am. and TORT class from 2pm-7pm. =S 

and MUM IS BACK HOME SAFELY BTW! thanks for all the prayers. and she's like,showering me with gifts  as i type this entry. haha. thts why it took me ages to finally finish this entry. keychains,bracelets! pretty pretty bracelets! haha.. i think i have 5 new bracelets now. =D

happy girl i am. heeee! =D

xoxo.!