Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Dear Ladies..

It is sad to see how the world has changed to one where man and woman are equal at almost everything! So much so, women are now making the initiative to do things that should be left to the Men to do! As much as we'd like to have gender equality, i really think that some areas should be left untouched, just the way it is. A friend recently shared an article with me, which totally motivated me to blog. hahaa..

Love. Relationships. Soul Mates. Mr. Right.

Tonnes of questions that sometimes make u want to pull ur hair out right?! Guys say we girls are confusing. sometimes i really feel that guys are just as confusing! No jokes. =)

I'll share the article with you at the end of this entry. but i'll quote parts of the article which i think really hit me. =)

"First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before it's made on an emotional one. "What about love? Shouldn't that be the third?" you ask. No, and I'll tell you why. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9).
The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently--it just loves to love! Therefore, you have to point it in the right directions: "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (Proverbs 4:23). "

 Too often, we act according to what we feel. how we feel. Too often, we are led by our emotions. We let our emotions get the better of us. But if u sit down, and think it through, u'd realize that alot of things that happen in our lives are totally not about how we feel. the world certainly doesn't revolve around us. What more about how we feel? but i guess its human nature to act based on what we feel. But we shouldn't really. Because above all things, the heart is deceitful. 

* Friendship, Courtship, Marriage. 

How many of you actually know these stages? haha. this world we live in now? we just LOVE jumping into things and skipping stages. really. How many people do you know that actually have a firm and stable friendship before getting into a relationship? What about you? Did you have a firm and stable friendship before getting into a relationship with your current partner? How well did you know him or her when you asked him or her to be yours? I definitely agree that you will never ever stop learning about your partner. You never will. You just have to keep on learning and studying your partnet as time goes by because they change as time goes by. But still, how many of you actually knew your guy, before u said Yes?

Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together. 
Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively--it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together after marriage.

How many couples do you know that got into a relationship, believing that one day, this will be the guy i'll marry? or do you get into a relationship just because you feel lonely? because you think, "Man, i could really use a boyfriend right now. " ? Hahaha. its really sad to see how so many people nowadays fail to appreciate the seriousness of getting and committing to a relationship. So many people take it so lightly! I see people getting together over night! or because they feel all lovey dovey when they're together and right away, they think, YES! WE'RE READY! WE SHOULD BE TOGETHER! =DDDDD! seriously, if that is the reason why u got into a relationship, let me ask u then. What if that lovey dovey stage is long gone and passed? do u think the both of you will still work out? 

and another thing that REALLY bugs me la. seriously. Dear girls and ladies! PLEAAASEEEE stop trying to play the role of a Man! Sometimes, You just gotta let a Man do what He's gotta Do! Stop being so impulsive! Stop trying to take control and try to plan everything so that, he will have the opportunity to confess his feelings. Or trying to give him STRONG HINTS like super obvious HINTS to tell him, Hey, im ready. ask me now ask me nowwwwwww~~~~~~~~~~! 

Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for you will pursue you, and God's hand in the relationship will be clear.

No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends. Scripture says: "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" ( Prov.18:22).

Note--who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time, God has transported men and women across the world in order to put them together. At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his mate. Adam had no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to help a guy out because he's shy! Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want.

The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested. 

Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found. Again,--WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the relationship. You may have an inkling that he is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you--this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They should love us first. And they should lead the relationship.

WAIT. Girls.. Wait! Honestly? If a guy truly wants you, he'd go all out for you. Even if he has to build up the most courage he has ever had to, just to go after you! Seriously, seriously. If he really wants you, He'd go after you. He'd pursue You. He'd realize that man, i really cannot afford to lose Her. i really cannot afford to let her pass me by! If he wants you, he will come get you! He wouldn't leave you hanging, filled with uncertainties, confusion and questions! And girls, i know that this is the part where you'd go all crazy.. trying to figure out if He really does want you. And then you get so fed up with guessing, You start taking things into your own hands with the feeling that, "Gosh, u guys just dont know how to do anything anymore. If i dont make this move, nothing will ever happen. " and then u try to drop big hints here, there and everywhere! and u try to prompt him to give u an answer. to make his move. to affirm you that he feels the same way as u do. We try so hard to find someone to find us! seriously. hahaa.. and u know what?! we girls always reserve that special spot in our hearts even before we are sure of what the guy truly feels for us! We reserve, even before we are sure. And then when the guy turns around and say, Sorry, i think we should just be friends. You feel the most piercing words, pierce right through your heart. Please girls, Untill He voices out his intentions, dont reserve a spot. dont lock down your heart and block out the rest. Sometimes u may feel as if, He's the one! im sure he's the one! Honestly girls? both you and I will never know what the future holds. Seriously. No matter how perfect you think you both would make as a couple? Things can happen out of a sudden and turn your world 360 degrees. None of us, No one, would ever know what the future has in store for us, except God. 

And finally, 

If the man you meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself, something is wrong. This is where I ask you to consider the relationship in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually, emotionally, or physically? Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in the process? Or does he see you as the gift that you are? The man in your life should consider you as a rare find, a priceless jewel--because of you he is getting ready to get blessed big-time!

Any relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable, or that you have to work for love, is too expensive! God has called the man to cover, protect, and provide not only materially for a woman, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You should be richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of your dreams. The man in your life should make rich deposits into your heart and spirit, not withdrawals.

Dear ladies.. as cliche as it may sound, A guy has to love you for who You are. Not for who you can become. Or not for who he wants you to become. A guy who truly loves you, will see your weaknesses and flaws and still think that you're amazing. A guy who truly loves you, will accept you for who you are. He'd not only take the good side of you, but also the bad side of you. What kind of friend or partner would he be if he only appreciated and accept Your Good side but trash you when Your Bad side surfaces? do you think such a friend or guy would be someone you could spend the rest of your life with?

A guy who really likes you, loves you, will take both Good and Bad. And even after taking in the Bad, The Good would still make the bigger picture. If he ever made u feel unworthy, unacceptable.. if he ever failed to acknowledge you.. rather keep you as a secret.. is ashamed of sharing you to His world.. Then please girls. Let it go. And leave. Such a guy is not worth your time. your love. your feelings. that special spot. your heart. He is definitely not worth hurting over. definitely not worth it.

then again, whether someone is worthy or not is a very subjective question. 
then again, sometimes you cant help but still take in all the hurt and pain and yet still feel, its okay. not everyone is perfect. 
then again, sometimes the softer side of you gets the better of you. So much so, you dont mind hurting for someone who apparently, isn't worth hurting over.

but i guess, all of these, they're a process of Life.. things some people just have or had to go through. different people react differently to similar situations.

But despite all our differences, I really do believe that We girls should really learn to take a step back, and stop trying to control everything and every area of our lives. i know we can be awesome superwomans and be the best multi-tasker on earth, but as i said earlier, sometimes, some things are just meant to stay the way they are. In the past, present, and future. 

Sometimes, You just gotta let a man do, what a man's gotta do.
So take a step back, breathe, and stop trying to play the role a guy should be playing.

the full article is here if you'd like to read it up.

i hope you were blessed like how i was by this article.

And to end this entry, this is my prayer and hopefully, the prayer of the rest of you girls. =)

Dear Heavenly Father,

I confess that I have not always been as careful as I should've been with my heart. From time to time, my desire for love has caused me to leave my heart in the wrong hands. I now commit my heart into Your hands for safekeeping. Please help me to stop being so impulsive with what you deem so precious. As I learn to celebrate Your love for me, let me learn from Your example what a bridegroom should really be like. Help me to never settle for less than what you desire for me. As I embrace You as the Lover of my soul, keep my affections in the haven of Your own heart. As I rest in Your love, make me more discriminating of those who approach me. I ask that You take over this area of my life. Keep me from those You know would hurt my heart. I invite You to set a hedge around me and keep me from all who would draw me into unfruitful relationships until the day you present me to the mate that You have selected for me. Grant me the discernment to recognize him as he recognizes me. Cleanse me from the temptation to typecast the men I meet according to what I see. Help me to trust in Your knowledge and lean not on my own understanding. I know that You know what is best for me; therefore I yield to Your choice. In Jesus Name. Amen.



  1. You're right.
    A lot of women go out of their way to land a 'man of their dreams' just to wake up from the dream & find themselves in a nightmare.

    I certainly want a pursuit. I want to get to know a woman I like before going any further.
    Also, chasing her helps me appreciate the relationship more once I'm involved with her.

    Good advice here. =)

  2. Jarod! good to know a guy agrees with this view as well! =)

  3. Anonymous6:18 PM

    There's no where in the scriptures that says a woman is not allowed to express the desires of her heart or in your words make the move.
    The love story of Ruth shows that there's nothing wrong with it. I personally think she is amazing!
    I think it's good to allow God to write our love story.. It doesn't matter who makes the move.. but as long as He's in the center, it'll have a happy ending. :)