Dont Forget, Dont Forget.

I've realized a couple of things in the past week.

#1: In any arguments or debates,

The minute someone starts to feel attacked, or becomes defensive, nothing good comes out of the debate or arguments. Why so? I dont know about your experience, but usually in mine? People dont exactly answer the questions thrown at them the minute they are on attack mode. All they do is attack attack and shoot. People dont make any sense when they're on attack mode. Dont you think so? During one of my class tutorials, as usual, we'd have presentations,followed by questions to the group presenting. I realized how they didn't answer my question even after i've repeated em over and over again. First, second third time i repeat, still, no answer. by the fifth time i repeated myself, i thought they couldn't understand my question, so i tried to ask them in all sorts of ways to help them understand my question. But after a while, i realize, You know what? theres no point asking them again. When I ask, they shoot back with a totally different issue. They start defending their point. But no answers given to my question. And the debates never end. it just keeps going on and on and round and round in circles with nothing being achieved by the end of the discussion.

People in general tend to do the exact same thing during arguments. Its no wonder why arguments always seem so pointless. Nothing makes sense. Well, most of the time nothing makes sense. You just end up fanning a bigger flame, you end up with hearts and feelings hurt, you end up with words you wished you never said. words, you apparently did not mean. But then again, if you did not mean it, why then did you say it? this puzzles me even up till now. Everytime after a fight, people come to you and apologize and say sorry for what they said and that they didn't mean it. Really? how's tht possible? I'm not dumb. I know that it's apparently,possible. But i seriously dont see the logic in it larh. really. when you're angry, you say things to get back at that person or to hurt that person. You WANT to do it. and you had all intentions to say whatever you said. So how can you not mean it? Maybe you can feel regretful of saying what you said la, But the "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. " ? Hmm. I'll leave you to ponder.

#2: Responsibilities and challenges.

You want to do this, that AND that. Or responsibilities that you didn't ask for come flying towards you. Most of us, when we commit and agree to do something, we always start out with this burning flame. this fire. But when challenges come, when the pressure sets in, when things get so out of hand, when the stress is overwhelming, we all burn out. We forget the very first reason why we even got ourselves involve in any of this in the first place! Many people wish they had such opportunities and responsibilities in their lives. Some, they wish they never had any of this. I have to be honest with you. I'm facing a load of stress,chaos and pressure. As the 9th draws nearer, so many things have been going out of hand. So many issues that suddenly came out of no where! The team, shaken up. I somehow knew such things would happen as the 9th drew nearer. But I wasn't prepared for any of this. I was totally caught off guard. And i'm left with so many unanswered questions. Being a middle person is no fun. No fun at all. But I always seem to get this role. hehs.

You know what? I realize how we tend to start, looking at all of this as opportunities, but end, looking at all of this as burdens. it shouldn't be like this. it shouldn't. We let our emotions get the better of us. We let all these external pressure and stress get to us, till we forget why/how we even started out.

I think this happens even in relationships between couples. You start out, all mushy and sweet. And when all the never ending fights starts happening? You ask yourself, Why am I even in this relationship in the first place?

Dont we All? hehs.

Sometimes, my plate gets so full, till i no longer see the joy and purpose in doing all of this.I forget. I get so tensed and stressed till I forget why i'm doing what i'm doing. But it shouldn't be like this, Kah May. When the going gets tough, cling on to God's strength and wisdom even more. Praise Him even more for trusting you so much that he trust you enough to get by. To get through all these challenges. To carry out all this responsibilities. Because He will never give you something you cannot handle. You should praise Him even more that he finds such favour in you to entrust you with all of these responsibilities. You should thank Him for giving you all these opportunities to bless others. You should thank Him for giving you all these talents that you are now using in whatever ways. You should thank Him for letting you experience things not many people in their normal lives get to experience. Yes, it may be really hard, it may be very overwhelming, it may even bring you to edge, lead you to breaking point, but all of these, you should embrace with thanksgiving in your heart.

Dont forget, dont forget that He is constantly watching over you.
I'm currently in a situation where things looks almost impossible to be settled or fixed. I cannot. But He can. He can.. I dont know how I am going to settle all of these ill feelings and conflicts in these few days, i really dont. But I really hope that God will help me find a way.

Use me Lord, guide me and lead me.
I feel so lost. I feel so small. I feel like i'm not good enough to clean up all these mess. I know I cant, on my own. I really need God to be with me.

"The world may fade, You will remain. In the midst of the trial, With Hope and light, You reign over all. Though my heart may fail,You will always be, i'll sing, Our God never fails, Our God never fails.  Praise in the morning, praise in the evening, praise when i'm laughing, praise when i'm grieving, There will be dancing, there will be singing, upon injustice we will tell of our God. The Hope of all heart is you, Your love never fails. Your Love never fails. In darkness, in trial, my soul shall sing of His mercy and Kindness."

xoxo.!