My Younger Self.

Hey all!

So.. yes. Super emo entry. BUT, good news is, i've finally found a place and sorted out a few things that needs to be sorted. So phewh! Less things to worry about!

I guess i was just really stressed out.. and i felt as if i was doing everything alone.. and so, i felt extremely.. stressed out and.. helpless. =( I guess planning a birthday party alone is never an easy task. But yeaaaah. Finally found a place yesterday. SO , one less thing to worry about. =)

Anyways, i came across a few old entries of mine. Back to the year 2006 and 2007.. when i was only 14 or 15.. and boy did i laugh my pants off! I was.. SO... HYPER... back then! Extremely Hyper! I was such a Happy Kid.

Those who know me now, knows that I am easily happy. But last time, I was even more easily satisfied. My day could be this really bad day where everything that could've gone wrong, went wrong. But at the end of the day, i'd be really happy, simply because i got to eat Pizza! hahahaha! So amused. Really. And the fact that i still see certain similarities from my younger self to the person i am to date, amazes me as well. The way I talk.. or the way i'd type things.. haha. ALSO. Gosh.. the ample of things that i learn from my younger self from time to time never cease to surprise me really.

For example, there came a time where I was just really angry about how everyone was putting the blame on me even though I had absolutely nothing to do with it. But simply because I was elder, i was the one to be blamed. The most trivial things. Ie: when my little brother decided to go on a diet because he felt he was becoming chubby, or when he accidentally spill some water on the couch. All these trivial things, i got scolded for simply because, I was the older one. =.=..........

Don't see why? I don't either.
So yeah, i was really upset, i felt as if everything that was going was just really unfair and ridiculous. But halfway through my angry entry, i suddenly started to type about how Jesus went through the exact same thing. You know what? i will just paste z paragraph here. And yes, i had serious spelling errors back then. Don't judge me k. haahaha.

"But then again..If i think Back..Jesus went through the same thing..But he did not say a word..All the critic...and all the blames...When he did nothing but good...And he died on the cross to take away all OUR sins....not HIS...But ours...How FAIR is that? ITS NOT! ITS NOT ONE SINGLE BIT FAIR...Haihs...i guess i should learn from tht and just shut my mouth and just receive all that Sense-less blames ...All that blames which i do not deserve...It will be so hard...Haih..I need u Lord...Help me...Give me the patience...And just help me to not expload whenever i'm about too..."


And that was my 14 year old self, talking.
This is why i love blogging. It may help others, reading my blog along the way. But it helps the future me as well. My younger self never fails to remind me of all the values and principles i stood by.. and how i should continue to stand by them. =) It's so easy nowadays to forget who we are, too easy. But i'm thankful that I constantly have things around me to remind me of who I am, who I want to be, and who I don't want to become.

My walk down memory lane.
haha. *happysighs*

16 Days till I turn 21.!
SO much to do! Leggo!
xoxo.!

22 Days till..

It's 22 days till I turn 21.

I was reluctant at first when deciding if I should celebrate my 21st with a Party. Because it has been a really long time since i've last celebrated my birthday with a party.
Probably the last party was during my 15th Birthday party.. and things were much easier and simple back then because we had proper place and space for a party to be hosted at home.. but things in KL is so much different compared to my previous home in JB.

Hence why i was pretty reluctant. I guess.. the thought of planning my 21st birthday party kinda scared me. Somehow..
It's really funny how it is SOOOO easy for me to plan an awesome birthday surprise for my friends.. for other people.. the ideas.. the creativity, everything just comes to me in a heart beat. But when it came to me? when it came to my own party? My mind just went blank.

22 days till.. and i have yet to find a suitable place to have it.
And there is alot of things that i cannot get done yet without having a confirmed venue. =(
I had two places in mind. One is prolly not gonna be an option anymore and the other is still pending confirmation.. problem with these two  places is that I can't directly deal with the management as these two places would require a residence to deal with the management. Coz only residence are allowed to rent the place. And so i have to go thru 2 people.. and so everything is just really messy and confusing and uncertain. Gosh. Don't you just hate the feeling of Uncertainty? =(

And so I would prolly have to start looking for other options as to where i should host z birthday party.. I feel very touched and blessed that many have decided to attend my birthday party despite the fact that they don't know where it would be held as yet. But i guess.. i just feel really helpless at the moment.. because..

I am blanked out. I don't know what to do. How to do it. Where to have it. etc.
I have gotten the caterer's number and i sort of have a picture of how i would want my birthday party to look like. But.. i dont know. i guess everything just feels so uncertain. =(

Also, the thing that really upset me this time, was finding out who are your true friends and who are not. They seem so nice..all the time, when everything is mutual and when everything is normal. But when u need help, and when u ask for help, they suddenly become all busy.. become all "maaa faaaan" ish.

I guess, what i'm trying to say is that..

If someone didn't need your help, they wouldn't have asked.
Asking for help, is putting oneself in a very vulnerable position.
Putting oneself in a position where you are exposed to the many possibilities of rejection.
And trust me, that is a very scary position to be in.

I guess that is life..
You find out who your true friends are as you go along in life in time.

At the moment, i feel really discouraged and demotivated..
To the point of wanting to just drop the whole idea of even celebrating my 21st.
Why did I even agree to celebrate my 21st? Sighs.

Back from Europe! =)

Hey peeps!

It's been a gazillion years! :O

If you didn't already know, I was MIA due to me hollie in Europe for a month! =)
It was amazing travelling around Europe with my one and only twin and Bestfriend! =)
An unforgettable experience, a priceless one.

So yeps! Got back just a few days ago and I've been trying to reset my biological clock to Malaysia time! haha. mannn... that has not been fun. Nuh uh. Not one bit. Been having serious jet lag issues since the 1st. Sleeping time pretty screwed up.. meal times.. but i think i'm almost there! haha. Coz i finally had some proper rest yesterday night! Contrary to the pass few days.. sleeping at 7am.. even though i tried sleeping at 2am.. haha. Rolled around till 8am. T_T

But yeah, ever since i've got back, been back to my crazy busy life.
Had a lot of things to get sorted.. have not even unpack! haha.
And Final Year of Law School is already starting in 2 days time!
Time flies! :O

Also, my timetable for final year.. will cause me to miss all 3 services in my current church.. =( and so, i would prolly have to attend another church for the time being. It's pretty saddening for me to do so because i've just started serving, recently, in my church's worship team. But now, with this timetable, prolly have to back out for a while. =( Sighs. oh wells.

And anyways! gonna be working at some big shot politician's wedding tomorrow. =P
Workaholic? Maybe. =P Just maybe. haha.

But it'll be my first time working along side a wedding planner!
So that is going to be pretty interesting! :D
Can't wait! =)

I shall update you peeps about z Europe trip soon!
but till then! I hope all of you are well and Happy.. =))
I know I am. =D

xoxo.!

Busy Bee Me. =)

Hello dear readers!

I am sososososo sorry for being MIA for such a long time!

But i've just been extremely busy to the point where i don't even get enough time for sleep! That busy. But i finally got some time off today and hence! I shall give u guys a proper update! =))

Where do i begin?!

Just before i took a break from my dancing life due to me finals for 2nd Year, i did a casual photoshoot session for my crew. =)

I am still learning of course! But i would say, that i am pretty pleased with the way all the pictures turned out. Won't be sharing the whole album but here are some of z pichas. =)

So this was my last day at the studio.. in february i think.

 March onwards? Nerd-ing all the way!!

With of course, the exception of a few special occasions. =)

So we brought The Bro to S.Wine at Publika for his 21st birthday party contrary to what he suggested, MayFlower at Brickfields. =.=! hahahaa. Too bad Kok Huah, that u have awesome friends like us. =P lalalala~ hahahaha.

Awww. Candid. =)

The Gang.

Hope u had a good time !

You've been such a good friend eversince A-lvls.

You're a true bro, and I am glad we crossed paths! =)

Love you Tan Kok Huah! *doesourhandshake!* haha.

And so the nerd sessions started with AL Siew. =) The study bud who is always too cool for.. schoooool...? hahahahaa. Nah. But yeah! We'd always end up studying at different branches of either Starbucks or Coffee bean. hahaha. EX. I KNOW. but, we had this buy 1 free 1 thing. So, it was okay i guess. =) Thank you so much AL, for always being so supportive, for being such a good friend, for being such a good study bud, for calming me when i start to freak out, for simply being there with me throughout the crazy,suffering,torturing and stressful few months. I don't know what I would have done without z awesome study bud. Thanks for fetching me around as well! You're one of the nicest friends I know. True story. I'm glad that our friendship has grown over the past few months and I look forward to more crazy moments in the future. =)

kkkk. dont cry dont cry. i know very the touching. =P

But seriously, =)

Then, the most funny thing happened.

I was thrown an accidental birthday surprise!

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

EPIC SIAAAA!

" How in the worlddddd?! ", you may asked.

Well, the person who threw me this birthday surprised accidentally mistaken my birthday to be in April instead of October. She mixed up both my sister and I, punya birthday. haha. So yes, First accidental birthday surprise ever! I really appreciate all the effort and thought tho! =))

Thank you all so much!!

More birthdays!

Threw both my lovely girlfriends a Surprise 21st Birthday party!!

A-Lvls till now. =)))

21 !!

Loves loves loves! =))

I hope you girls had a great time!! =)

So yes, I decided to have a change of hairstyle. But the Bangs Phase did not last for long. hahahaa. SO yesh! i'm back to my normal hairstyle now. =P NOT USED TO IT LAH! =P

So in the midst of my revision nerding period, i gave into temptation and joined z crew at one of their performances. No, i did not perform. But i went to support them instead of studying Tort. haha.

Nah, i studied. just chilled for a few precious hours. But yeah! missed them so much! Gosh.. that day, i realized how much i missed my dancing life!!

Managed to meet some old friends as well! =)

Shawn performed!

So did Leonard and his band!

Finally got to meet z Malaysian band, An Honest Mistake. =)

Was good seeing you again, Shawn! =) You've improved so much.!

Z Crew and I. =)

And so, I had crazy alot of Subway Brekkie during my revision period. ALMOST, every morning, with AL Siew. We went there so often, they knew exactly how we wanted our subway sandwiches! hahaha. Good times tho, good times. =)

And thus, the exams began!

Went through all kinds of emotions and experiences.

Everyone thought that I was having a smooth sailing journey throughout my exams, but No. I did not. It was in fact one of the toughest times of my studying life. I've never felt so insecure..so worried.. so unsure.. everything just felt so uncertain this time. I broke down quite a few times and if you know me well, this tough cookie aint one who breaks down easily. And so yes, during revision AND during the exams, i was an emotional wreck. But i chose to keep it to myself.. except of course to a few exceptional people. =) and of course to people who read my blog.. hahaha. gosh. i was so SAD during my exam period. Stressed out to the point, my parents were scared that i'd get brain damage or something. hahaa. they kept trying to get me out of the house..to go for a movie..to simply go out for dinner. I was so stressed out studying, this time, it was so bad, i didnt even have time to eat properly sometimes. Coz time was just so limited..so precious.

When the last paper came to an end! :D

But nevertheless, the simple encouragement from people through calls, smses, fb, and in so many other ways, and of course with God's never ending grace and mercy, I got through Year 2 of Law School. I survived. =) You guys have NO IDEA, how much it meant to me.. all your love and care.. all your support and encouragement. It got me through Year 2. It kept me sane. It kept me in tact. And here I am, =) ALIVE! hahahaha. but seriously.. =') thank you all so much. Thank you for caring for me.

And so! thus, the end of Year 2 of z Law School!! 

FREEEDOOOMMMMM~! for a while....

Haha.

So, i thought to myself.. OOO YEHHH. Time to read all the books that i bought..that has been waiting for me on my shelf, collecting dust.. time to finish watching HIMYM and finally find out who the mother is! To sleep in till 2pm every single day! and to just chill on my bed and listen to music! To go to the park everyday to watch the sun set, to jog, to swim, to everything lah!

But hohoho. Guess i thought wrong.

Ever since my exams ended, all i've been doing is going out, going out, going out and going out. Whether to meet people, whether to run errands, whether to work.. My bed... has been soooo neglected. =((( my teddy bear..and pillow... and comforter... T_T

my books! D: i've not even finish ONE book. Super Phail. =/ 

But, okay la, quite happening. hahaa. But seriously trying my best to meet up with all of you! arggggh! patience people. One by one k! i'm comingggg! wait for mieeee. =/ ANYWAYS. back, to, z updates. SO YES! went for Rifdy's 21st Bday party!! :)

Us, at a play ground, doing silly stuffs, in the wee hours. =P

I had fun! met so many new friends! Met so many cool peeps that night. hahaha. 

Happy 21st Birthday Rifdy! =)

On this day, i tasted, the best, awesomest, birthday cake, EVER.

Imagine.. eating a cake that tastes like ferrero roche! :OOOOOOO! *drools* i miss it already!!

Also! Finally got back to z dancing life, immediately after exams!!

Z crew performed at Zouk Club KL. :D

Was there for an event called " The Judgement Day "

Met new friends!! =)

You guys were so good!

Was good getting to know you guys. =) Meet Hiroshi, Shortie and Carlos! :D

See y'all soon on the other side of the world! hopefully.. :D 

Met a new friend and met my old highschool mate from JB! :O what a small world! hahaha. they were Beatboxing. =)

bboy menno! :)

Hiroshi! the Bboy that caught my attention. =)

He was so good! His combos are sikkkk. Good meeting ya, Hiroshi! 

And Lego's crew, Cypher Kingz took part as well! u guys fought hard! Good job guys! Great seeing u again Lego! =)

And so yes, Judgement day was my first day going back into the dance scene after nerding for months!!

Then, my sissy and her family came up to KL for almost a week i think?

We went on a famiwee trip to Malacca! :D

My pretty pretty baby niece! Apparently, we look alike! :D i think so too. hahaa. we've so much in common! :O Sometimes i feel as if i'm looking at little me. =)

It was so good getting to spend time with z famiwee. especially with my nephew and niece! ahhh..they melt my heart all the time. Hahaha. check out Josh being all bboy and all. =P future dancer in the house yo!

And Here is the 4 Of Us. In one picture after the longest time.

So yep! was really busy bringing sissy and her family around.. and simple spending time with them. I went for a job interview, at UNIQLO. and I got in! =) I normally don't work in malls or even worse, retail. I'm more to roadshows and events. But this time, i needed the money by every end of the month, and so, roadshows or event jobs were just not suitable this time. Hence, why i opt for UNIQLO. For a retail company, they pay really well! =) and because its an MNC, they're system in managing things were just really different. It was so different compared to my experience at Roxy or Quiksilver. Anyhoo! I started work pretty soon. The day my sissy left, i started work the next day.

And gosh.. this job took up the most of my hollie, i would say. Working hours are just SO LONG. :O And i'm not even joking. I start work at 7.50am and end work at 7pm. or sometimes 7.45 to 8pm. or from 12pm to 11.30pm or sometimes 12am. And unlike other retail stores, you are just SO BUSY every single day! it's crazy really! but its good in a way i guess, time passes in a jiffy! so yeah, i lacked sleep.. pretty badly. =/ Because whilst working, i tried to meet up with as many of z fwends.. coz i still owe quite alot of you a meet up still! but im getting there. =) just wait for mieee! hahaha.

Also, outside of UNIQLO, i tried still to have a LIFE. xD hence, the sacrificial of sleep.

Also, I've been meeting so many new friends after exams, it's crazy! Crazy in a good way of course. hahaha. Just feels so nice to meet new people. =) You learn so much about people, from people, when u meet them from, i dont know? all walks of Life! I just loveeeee meeting new friends! =)

Went to z RED BULL BC Malaysia, one Saturday!

Went with Dylan! =)

Comes comes. Lemme introduce to you one of z new addition to my close friends group!

haha. No, i don't have a group of friends labeled 'the close friends group' but...ahh. u know, lemme just introduce dylan to you! =)

Just like me, he's a dancer as well!

He's been sucha good friend..really. Sho supportive,caring, and you know, simply being there. =) Good friends are just so hard to come by nowadays. I'm really glad and blessed to have a group of really good friends, always sticking by my side, no matter what.

Regardless of how weird I am sometimes, how stressful my problems are sometimes, they stuck by me then, and they stick by me still. =')

Thanks alot guys!

You've no idea how bless I feel to simply have y'all in My Life.. =))

Kkkk. sorry for diverting to all these touching *sniffsniff* moments. I just really wanna show these people how much I appreciate each and every single one of them. =') =D

OKAY! back to red bull bc! hahaha.

So yes! it was my first time at z red bull bc and i guess, even tho i just went there to watch, I learn, every single time i go to such events.. I learn so much.. to see people with their own different styles.. i guess exposure is just always good, somehow. =)

Met Bboy Roxrite! :D

The winner of Red Bull BC One 2011, Russia.

Met derek too! danced with him before, but, hahaa. Never really talked then. Was good seeing u again! :)

And then Father's Day came! =) Spent the whole day with z Famiwee! Was sucha nice and good day. It's been a while!

My pretty mummy and I ! =))

Daddy and I!

Awww..my pretty mummy. Lovelovelove~!

My parents! :D

Who do i look like? hehe. =P

Famiwee!! =))

Was a memorable day. =)

Headed for the 8TV Showdown workshop by Jay Smooth~

And Prepix Haw! =)

Gosh..he really killed us that night.. but i learned alot! =)

Met Chriz!

and Dennis! =)

ECX and HyperActive represent Yo! =P

Danced between dennis and chriz throughout Prepix Haw's session.
SO STRESSED TAU TAK? haha.
Aihs, i need to improve!!!
Must. Impove. =/

Met Simon too!

It's been a while since we've last danced together!

U guys did good at finals simon!

Keep going! Aleeeeee~~!

Also, managed to have me girls day out with z lovelies!!

Planned to watch a movie but we ended up chatting and yapping the whole day instead! hahahaa. That is what happens when you don't get to see each other after almost a month!

Had such a good time with you girlies!

Can't wait for our next outing.. =))

Went for Wai Loon's bday as well! =)

And I finally got the time to spend some time with z crew. =)

Jon Jon~!

Eleven!

Yuki!

And z couple.. Emily and Seven! haha.

T'was a good night. =)

Picture credits to Daniel Chai!

And the moon has left me staring at it in awe for these past few nights! Amazing really! =) ahhh. The moon the moon the moon~ One of God's amazing creation. =)

Went for yet another 21st bday party! Gosh, everyone is turning 21 this year! hahahaa. MY TURN SOON! mwahahahah. :D D :D

Went with the Bud. =) I'm glad you came!!

Happy 21st Birthday Suren!!
You have been such a good friend over the years. Thank you so much for always being this really nice guy and friend that you are. Don't change when you go to UK, okay? =)

At Sharon's 21st Birthday Party! =)

And after just a week!
I found myself at yet another 21st Birthday party! haha.
It was my first few times being at an indian friend's 21st Bday party!
The way they celebrate 21st Birthdays are so different from the way the chinese people does it!
it's so grand.. it feels like a wedding dinner! No kidding! :O it was a really nice experience. =)

This, is, her, BIRTHDAY CAKE! :O

ALL 4 of it! hahaha! how cool is that?!!!

Her mum baked them all! :O !!

It was a really cool experience. =)

I shall have to stop here.. for now. haha.

This post is wayyyy too long! but here you are!

A more detailed update on how i've been, where i've been and yada yada. =P

TO BE CONTINUED! =D

Btw, =) it was my first day serving in my church's Worship Team.

It's been a while since i've last served in the worship team.. and I was so overwhelmed and so overjoyed when i served again this morning. I've been wanting to start serving again in this new church of mine.. well, fairly new. But i kept delaying it because i was afraid that i would not have time to commit. But my pastor asked me again recently, and i guess.. it was all in God's timing. =)

It really was. :)

OKAY.

TBC! =P

Guess where i'm going tmr? to see Jason Chen and Clara C! :D yaayyyy~! *jumpsjumpsjumps!* :D :D :D 

Im a fan of Clara! I love her voiceeeeee! =) cant wait!

^.^

till next time!

xoxo.!