Utter Disappointment.

Be offended, not.
This entry will be nothing but the true feelings of the author, deep down within.

Whenever i am given a task, whenever i commit myself to something, whenever i accept a particular responsibility, I will make sure that i get it done. I will make sure that i do it well. I will make sure that i give it my best.

When I work for this particular company, even though i do not get any commission from doing more work or getting more sales, I do it still. People question me.

" If you dont get any commission from selling more or doing more work? Why so bodo go do? Chill only la. "
Yes. That is a pretty pleasing thought but still, that is not how i roll.
As long as you treat me fairly, as long as you tell me before hand what my pay is, what my working hours are and where i will be working, I am contented and i will shut up and do my job, Well, if i may add.
That is all i ask for. Too much to ask for?

Dear promoters around the world, reading this, I am sorry if this offends you, but How the heck do you guys even work without finding out what your pay is?!
I just dont get it?! How in the world, do you stand there, for 8 - 12 hours, working, sweating, yada yada without finding out what Your salary for the day is?! Aren't you working because you want to earn some extra cash? if that is so, how can you stand there for so many hours, guessing, the whole time, wondering, what your salary for the day is?! I mean like, SERIOUSLY?! HOW?

I for one, can never, ever, ever start working when i dont know how much i will be earning for the day. Again, do not be offended, but in my honest opinion, that is not a very smart move!

This is the very reason why so many people get cheated and lied to in their face! Have you not heard of them stories where people work and end up not getting paid a single cent for all their hard work? Earth to you, yes, it happens and it had better not have happened to u!

So anyways, Today, was sort of my last straw with this company.
I have had enough with all the issues that revolve around this company.
All of these opinions are nothing but my most humble opinions. If you dont like it, you can stop reading.
This company, they are so unorganized, they are so last minute, so irresponsible with regards to certain matters, irresponsible when it comes to taking care of the well fare of their employees and the list goes on. I have helped them out throughout the years i have worked with them. Even when i was really busy. But when they stopped acting like my employers and started treating me like a 'family friend of the company' I started putting up my guard against their every movement. I became really cautious. For me, it is a really simple equation. Work = Work. Friends = Friends.

I can be your friend and i can help you out whenever you are in need.
But when i work, make sure you pay me what i should be paid.
Unless you are a family member or a really super damn close friend, there are no such things as FAVOURS when it comes to work. it is simple.

WORK = WORK.

U see, my boss really dislikes discussing matters regarding our salaries.
She would brief you about everything and anything regarding the job EXCEPT your salary which, in fact, is the most important factor.
And that is why, EVERY SINGLE TIME we start work, all the other promoters would start asking each other, " Eh, today, how much is our pay ah? " WITHOUT FAIL. ALL THE TIME. And most of them would go, " I dunno worh.. gosh..hope it is not too little. " U kidding? This is not even suppose to happen weihhh!
And again, for the thousand and one time, no offense but most of the time, all of them promoters have no balls to actually ask about their pay! EVERYONE WANTS TO KNOW! BUT NOOOO ONE WANTS TO ASK.

why so?

easy. = No one wants to be the bad guy.

Typical huh? Everyone wants to get the benefits but everyone wants to discard the crap.

But heck care. I ALWAYS.. ALWAYS ask about these 3 simple and yet, really important things. Where, How long, How much. I will NOT start work without knowing these 3 things before hand. That is why, when we are being paid unfairly, i would be the spokesperson for the whole team. i will be the bad guy. I will take the bullet for the team. I will be the one known as ' Calculative ' .

Today, i will admit. Our pay wasn't as satisfying and pleasing. It wasn't as fair. But nevertheless, i let it go and just accepted it. I knew, and the others didn't because #1, My supervisor didn't want to ask the boss. she either found it unnecessary (which i still cannot bring myself to understand why? ) or she was lazy, and felt it to be a hassle. But IMHO, as the supervisor, it is your duty to of course supervise your team and also be the spokesperson for your team. To take care of your team. You should be the one communicating to the boss and you, communicating to us, the team. It should not be the case where the promoters themselves are calling and contacting the boss and asking information and stuffs about our job. They DO call it delegated legislation for a reason. So if your own supervisor have no balls to do their job, you tell me how?

So i got really fed up when i kept getting the  " I dont know " answer from my supervisor. So, as usual, i had to take things into my own hands, and find out what our salary for the day is. So anyways, after finding out and accepting it as it is, I conveyed the message to the rest of the team. And when i did, they started comparing our salary for today and the salaries next week.

Salaries next week =  EXACT SAME TIME, but higher pay.
Salary today = EXACT SAME SALARY, but lower pay.

Very unreasonable, i know.
Very illogical. but i did weigh out the circumstances where we had the pleasure of going home early for some of the days because there was simply no people to interact with and how it was sort of a win-win situation. A give and take situation. Hence, i didn't complain and chose to accept it as it is. But the rest of the team got pretty unsatisfied about the day's salary and so everyone agreed to call up the boss because our supervisor wouldn't do it, and to ask her about it. Everyone asked me, of course, as usual, to ask. But this time, i said no. I knew the boss would feel very unhappy abt it and yada yada because i've always been standing up for my rights. But i've never tried to influence a whole team of people to fight for a higher salary. i have always done it professionally and personally, one on one. If i felt MY salary was not reasonable, i would talk it out and i would confront the matter.

So i said no. then everyone started looking at each other, trying, hoping, for a volunteer. So anyways, in the end, someone agreed to do it. Let me remind you again how i did not complain about the salary and how i refused to be the one to call the boss. So when the volunteer called the boss, guess what i over heard?

" Was it Celine who made you call me? "
and yada yada yada more hurtful disappointing stuffs -----------------------

Even though i did not complain, even though i was not the one who called but in the end, i was still the one to blame. I was still the bad guy. i was still the one who took the bullet for the team.

it may sound like a petty thing to you.
but for me, it was an utter disappointment!

I work so hard! I try my best all the time, i try to get the most sales, i go out of my way to give tip top performance during work even when i'm sick! AND THIS, IS HOW, you show appreciation for my efforts and hard work? even though i dont freaking get any commission, i still try to sell ALL the stocks up to the point of losing my voice. Even though i dont get any commission, i still try to give out the most free stuffs and what nots even though my name is not printed and published on all the efforts i put into getting the job done, Well.  I still get the same pay. It is YOU, the company, who benefits from such hard working employees like me. ( not to boast, but i do work very hard )

Excuses i get from friends?
" You are highly demanded in the company and by the clients of the company. If i were to ask questions that you ask, they would tell me, thank u, its ok, u dont have to come to work tomorrow. thank you for your time but you can go work else where, and tht would be the end of me. But for you, it is different. They want you and they like you. "

I wont deny that i do agree with the statement above but still, i really do not appreciate two faced people who act all nice and hehehe infront of you but back bite you.

These kind of people, i dislike the most. You have an issue with me? Come and say it to my face. Dont go around back biting me.

So today was the last day for a particular roadshow. And tmr would be another new roadshow. But I have decided that Friday would be my last day working with them, ever.

This is not the sole reason why i have decided to stop working with this company.
But it is definitely ONE of the many reasons why i have decided so.
I am really upset with whatever that happened today.
Even though there is a drastic difference between my pay for tomorrow and on friday, I still accepted it without complaining or demanding for a higher pay. Unless it is really very totally unreasonable, i would rather not stir up an argument. AND YET, I WAS STILL THE ONE TO BLAME!

i can save my ass and redeem my own ass by calling the boss. By telling the truth of wht happened today. That is what the working world is like kan? every man for himself. I can easily do that and let the real people take the bullet themselves. But no, i did not and i will not.

Why not? i haven't really come to a proper conclusion yet.
But this is what i have chosen and i will stick to my decision.
I guess i'm just not that kind of person who would bring another person down just to save my own ass and reputation. If this is what you think of me, then so be it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and perspectives.

But i have said it and i will say it again,
I am really upset and disappointed with whatever that has happened.
And just so you know, even after hearing what you said, i still continued my job with a smile and still performed the way i have always been performing. Because this is called professionalism, commitment and responsibility. I refuse to allow my emotions and feelings affect the way i perform during work, dance or whtever it is i have committed myself to.

I wish you all the best in Your Business. It was fun while it lasted, but this is the last goodbye. (oh so dramatic) pfft. shuddap. :P

bye.

Lull before the Storm?

Hello wello.

u know, on the very same day i serviced my car, i had probs with it!
ahhhh.. sakit hati! :(  After watching the Dark knight rises in Sunway pyramid's TGV premium lounge, at around 11.40pm plus, as i was about to drive out of the parking lot, i heard this loud BOOM! and then i heard screeching sounds from the tires.

Got out of the car immediately to check out what just happened.
Thank God brotha was with me coz it was really late and the parking lot was pretty empty. And u know, these days, them stories about parking lots are everywhere! so anyways, found out that the rear passenger wheel was locked and it did not spin whenever i drove, hence, the screeching sound .. or rather, noise, that it made. Painful to the ears i tell you. Everything that happened that night was just too much to be a coincidence.

i was suppose to watch the dark knight with my dance crew at cheras leisure mall, midnight show. BUT, tak jadi coz everyone not free. So i accepted my friend's invitation to watch with him and a few others instead, at 9pm. FOR THE FIRST TIME, EVER, i did not look at what floor i parked at, what zone, etc. I'm usually the one who helps my friends who drive, rmb where they park and i NEVER forget where i park. But this time, totally blank! So i followed this new friend i made. My friend's friend, to where she parked her car. Coz i had a feeling i parked somewhere there as well. But when we were paying for the parking ticket, she had no change. So she asked us to go ahead and go on without her. I roughly felt.. yes, i had to feel where i parked. hahaa.. found my car and in the end, guess what happened? this new friend happened to park RIGHT BESIDE MY CAR! :O hahaha. whoaaaaaaaaaaa. so after all the tyre prob and all, she waited with us untill we were safe and all lah. i figured that the brake drum/disc was the problem. i tried loosening the brakes by going back and forth but to no avail, the tyre was locked, solid and hard like rock. it just would't budge! ish! So i had to leave my car in the sunway pyramid parking lot and come back the next day. so parents had to come fetch us from the hotel lobby, where we waited for them. I was really upset to be honest. very very very. Because i just serviced my car and spend so much servicing it and yet, ada masalah on that very same day. So very sakit hati lah. Then ada lah, benda-benda lain yang terjadi after parents came and pick us up. Sighs... i felt terrible but i was praying and thanking God for his grace, mercy and protection.

It could've been a tragic night. If it happened while i was driving, if the tyre suddenly got locked and yada yada while im driving, sure gone edy. Super dangerous. so yeah. plus, my friend was thr to help/wait/teman us. So  i just felt really blessed lah. Then so happen, alot of my friends called me at that time, for other reasons, but when they found out what happened, they were all just really helpful and caring lah. Anyways, it was a challenge finding a mechanic on a Sunday! T_T

to sum it all up, i had to tow it back to my place and thank God, a mechanic workshop near my place was open! so yeah. burn alot of money on that day seh. Haiz. parking fees at sunway killed me. plus the fixing and all.. =((( But all is well now. Car is fixed. hope it doesn't happen again though. And anyways, work this week has been really really tiring. Alot of travelling involved. To really far places like cyberjaya, nilai, kajang,. etc. so yeah. But anyways, i'll only be working up till the 10th of Aug and after that, i wanna enjoy the rest of my hollies before 2nd year starts.

And its august already! this means, it is results month! prolly 15-17 aug akan dapat results.
cant wait! wonder how i did! Gonna be heading another roadshow starting tmr.. so gtg sleep. so tired from all the travelling today. *yawns* Goodnight peeps.
Shall update u in detail soon!

xoxo.!

Alooooo~! :D

Hello people. :)

Been busy as usual.. but i've been coping better.
This week, i was reminded once again how materialistic this world can get!
It is sad but it is reality.
I went for this business dinner and i was surrounded by tonnes of rich people. Ferrari, Audi, Porche, Lambo,  you name it, it was there.

It was cool but i didn't feel comfortable.
I felt as if i had to put my guard up the whole time because everyone there would judge you by the way you carry yourself and ESPECIALLY on looks.

I will blog about this again soon!
have to go fetch grandma now. :)

OOOOOHHH~! my baby just had its first service and wash! Heheee. :)
sho happy~! Money went out of my pocket but this is all part of growing up. :D

GTG!

xoxo.!

I want a silent hug so badly.

Things have been so difficult for me lately. So many things. And i am really trying my best not to complain. Not to explode. Not to be lead by my feelings. Not to mistreat others just because I feel so and so. But it is just.. SO DIFFICULT!

='( sighs.
it is so frustrating.
it is so stressful.
it is so hard.

Sometimes, the things i do for some people, so ridiculous, but yet, i still did it even though it caused me alot of hardship. One side of me will start complaining like crazy and label my action as dumb,silly,ridiculous, etc. You name it. And the other side of me will ask me to just tahan and to just do it. Buat saja. buat saja. But the other side of me will be in rage.. and it is so stressful! It is like a battle between what my heart wants and what my brain is trying to do.

gaaah!

I have alot of responsibilities. I am depended on, by alot of people. And my attention and help is demanded by many. Sometimes, i get so overwhelm by it, i find myself doing something just because i have to and not because i want to. And i really dont like it. Because then, my actions would be insincere. At the start of 2012, i came into the new year with a goal and i am still trying my best to stick to this goal. I know it is not wrong to sometimes give in to what i want and to what my heart wants and does not want. But sometimes, i have to put the needs of others before my wants. At least, that is what i am trying to do.

When God changes me, He's got more than just me on His mind.

So not everything is about me. 

but sometimes my selfish heart desires gets the better of me.

It is also so hard when the people around you dont know what you're going through. the things they ask you, the questions they ask you only amplifies the pain that is already there, struggling to heal. 

but its not their fault tho, they dont know what you're going through.

I just feel so..
sighs, i dont even know how to describe what i'm feeling.

I am the better person in this.

I wish you well. 

=(

I knew this would happen.
Why would you wanna do something like that to me?
What did i ever do to you?
Sighs.

=((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

That is just life, well isn't it?
When it is in the grasp of another's hand, You can only Hope that they will somehow give it back to you.
But other than that? You are completely helpless.

It may mean nothing to You. But it means a whole lot to me.

Mixed Feelings.. 

Can't seem to put them down into words.

It is well, with my Soul.

On Sunday, we sang this song in church and the message and story behind this song really hit me.

Horatio Spafford, he had it all going for him.
4 daughters,a son and a loving wife.
Successful lawyer. But it all went down hill when his only son died at the age of 4. There was then the the great Chicago Fire which ruined him financially.. business burnt down and all. They planned a trip to europe. Sent his daughters and wife ahead as he got delayed by his business probs.

Wht then? the ship they were on had a collision and all 4 daughters died. Only his wife survived the tragedy. As he was on his way to meet his wife, he penned this song/hymn.

" It is well, with my soul. "

After such a tragedy, one after another, He could bring himself to write a hymn of praise to God and to say that It is Well, with his soul.

Made me question how strong my Faith in God is.

Would i have succumbed to all the pain,anger, despair and start playing the Blame Game?

I like to put myself in the shoes of others. I tried putting myself in Horatio's shoes. Would I be able to do the same thing as Horatio did? Would i still love God regardless of all that has happened and still sing songs of praise to God? Would i still stand firm in my Faith in God?

Or would i start asking questions like : WHERE WERE YOU, GOD? AM I NOT YOUR CHILD? YOU SAID YOU HAD PLANS TO PROSPER ME AND NOT TO HARM ME, WHAT NOW?!

etc.

That was tough. Of course, right now when my life is Good and all, i can easily say, no, i will not blame God, i will still continue to stand firm in my Faith in God. It is always easier said than done. What would i actually do if i was in Horatio's shoes?

Honestly? until and unless i am ever put in such a spot, i would never know.
I may be strong in my Faith now. But what about then? Would i be strong enough to hold on and to trust God? I can write a poem now, saying how i would never blame God because i know that He is God and He will do things according to His will, whatever they may be. But look at Peter. Look what happened to him. He denied Christ 3 times.

Anything can happen when you are caught in such a situation.
But instead of waiting for that time to come, if it ever comes, in whatever way, I want to be prepared. I want to be stronger than I currently am in my walk with God. I dont want to wait till the very last minute to find out whether or not i am strong enough. I WANT to be strong enough. My Strength comes from God and not from me.

In my life thus far, i realized how less-tragic things can affect me so much. Ie: getting rob twice in a year, having horrible car breakdowns, constant ones i may add, having sick family members at the same time, etc etc. You name it. I remember how ANGRY i was, the second time i got robbed. It was so frustrating, i could not have lifted up my hands to God at tht very moment and praise God for being so merciful for sparing our lives. I could not. But now, if ever, if ever i was put in such a spot, i would want to be able to do so. In my darkest times, i want to be able to still lift my hands in worship. I want to reach that point where I can say " It is well, with my Soul " regardless of all the bad things that are happening in my life.

What about You?

This song really reminded me how things of the world.. including the people around you, their body, our bodies.. it is nothing but mere dust. Are you right with God? Is it well with your soul? Or are you just trying to finish your Life on earth and that is it, end of story?

Are you living in the world, or of the world?

I believe that everything has its time and place. Be it your career, the search for your Purpose of life/in life, or finding Mr./Mrs Right.

All of these will come along in His time.
Try taking things into your own hands, ie: rushing into relationships and you'll find that Mr.Right at the Wrong time is as good as him being Mr.Wrong.
And that is why i will wait on You, God. More than the watchmen waits for the morning.
I choose not to succumb to the trends,pressures and wants of the World.
The most important opinion of you should be God's opinion of you.
Are you right with God?
You're not? then what are you waiting for?!

*bimbo tone* Like, Seriouslayyyy?

:P haha.

xoxo.!

Trips!

I have been... SO BUSY!

I hardly have time for anything else! haaha.. My journey post exams has been carazzzzieeee!

Genting - Perth - Work -- Penang -- Dance Performance -- Johor -- Super Big Show/Dance Performance -- roadshow -- Parade of Schools (EMERGE 2012)

those are just the main stuffs.

but yeah.. schedule has been SO PACKED! 

And if you are wondering, Penang was great! 

The Bestfriend and I went to Penang before with seperate groups and it wasn't a very pleasant experience. The food i ate was so not worth eating. haha. No offence. So the both of us decided to give Penang one more chance and to go together instead, this summer. So off we went to Penang for a whole week.

Z Verdict?

ME LIKES PENANG! WE LIKE PENANG! :D!

we two have a totally different perspective and view of Penang now. We really like Penang now. I Penang nice food expert jor! *wink wink* come ask me if u wanna know! I will not membesar-besarkan all these nice places! WHY?

according to the locals, once a particular stall goes famous and all over the internet, their standards ALWAYS drop. According to the locals la. so these nice makan places shall be preserved by yours truly! and i shall do as the locals say! :)

So in short, Penang has been redeemed by them loyal,proud and semangat penangnites! Well done! U have successfully changed the minds of two KL-ians to adore Penang. Not only food, but the people especially! the community! They are so nice..! i hope KL ppl will be like that someday. What a nice community to live in. :)

and next time we go back, it would be a hiking trip! ;)

Right after i got back from Penang,after me touch down, Celica picked me from KL Sentral and we headed to z performance place rightaway! learned all the new changes made to the routine in the car ride. Hahaha. gosh! you have NO idea.. how tired i was! after the performance i was super zombified edy ok! But it was fun performing with HyperActive again. hahaha.. famiweee! :))) 

got home around 12midnight plus.. packed for JB and hit the road the next day and headed down south! and now, here i am, in JB as promised, JB-ians! hahaa. Mans.. i have not travel so much in a year before! I must say, though i really dislike the whole packing unpacking and packing idea, i shuperrrrr like travelling! especially all the people u meet along the way. :) it is nice. I like it. :D

After this JB trip, it is back to reality! No more hollie for me.

Have to sort out all the roadshow stuffs.. still so unprepared. sighs.. so much issues still and it is suppose to start on the 23rd. Pfft.. 

and.. this coming Saturday, it'd be a super duper wooper crazy Saturday! WHY?

because... *drumrolls~~~!* HyperActive will be performing along side KTNK and ECX! *gasp!* STRESS OR WHAT?! and if you dont already know, KTNK and ECX are the 2 crews that alot of people in the dance world in M'sia look up to! they are like.. at the top, up there! So even though sangat stress and pressured! I am excited! it is an honor. It is an opportunity that I will grab and embrace! *inhales* I can do this! we can do this! :)) EXCITEDS! :D tickets sold out already though. =( 

Sides that, it has been really great catching up with all my friends from all over! FINALLY kan? hahaha. and ohhhhh! I'd be really busy with pracs for the upcoming Parade of Schools in EMERGE 2012! :D Parade of Schools? apa tu? 

it's basically cheerleading la ok? but more chun! got more dance/stunts/ etc la! so its technically... not just cheerleading.. its like......... the evolved/more advanced kind of cheerleading? i dunno lah ok! hahahaa. so hard to describe. =.=...

but yes.. i'd be busy with that to! i can't wait though! been 3 years since i've last joined POS. Can't wait to see whats in store for 2012! exciteds! :)) yes laaaa.. i cheerlead before okay.. =/ Dont laugh.

*hides*

xoxo.!

Work work work!

My habis kerja face! Sho happie!
No more 3M fair! :D

Hey guys! it has been a while.

I've been so busy with work..
I wake up really early and sleep really late. I leave the hse very early and come home very late.
By the time i get home, i just dont feel like doing anything else.

Sho tired! but i always end up sleeping really late. there was one day where i had only 3hours of sleep. So standing for 12 hours after tht was really difficult! lesson learnt. or maybe not? :P hahaha.

But yeah! i've been doing roadshows and all.. but the annual 3M fair was definitely a walk down memory lane. I really enjoyed the Julie's roadshow. SO FUN! :D didn't feel like work at all.. The Mentos one.. was only fun for like.. 2 days. hahahaa..after that i got really depressed selling z 3D Gum. haha. like so pointless. and ppl kept putting their camera in my face with the flash without asking me! how rude! Pfft. but there were nice people who asked first.. so i had to sell, AND take pictures with alot of people coz they were soooooo fascinated with my purple hair and almost all of them thought it was real even after pulling up my purple hair and looking underneath for any black hair. lol..

YES. my purple hair was fake la. hahahaa..so many people thought it was real tho! because..apparently, it fits me well! hahahaa... but yeah.. my happiness and excitement for that Job only lasted 2 days. x)

3M fair started on the 4th -6th. I was suppose to carry on with the Julie's roadshow. But after my good performance last year for both the 3M fair and the Scotch Brite roadshow.. I've gained favour in the eyes of the big bosses in 3M. So they made sure my boss put me in the 3M fair and the Scotch brite roadshow. lol..unfortunately, i'll be heading another roadshow this year which clashes with the Scotch Brite roadshow..so 3M fair was a MUST! for the clients. So yeah.. was pulled into 3M fair at KL Sentral.. AGAIN.. I am honestly not a fan of working at KL Sentral for the 3M fair.. aihs..whats worse? this year there was only Scotch Brite to sell. No post its.. no Nex care.. just Scotch Brite.. and boy was it depressing.

it had its pros and cons lah..
It is actually pretty difficult to sell such items in KL Sentral. A place where everyone is rushing for time. It was definitely a challenge.

*saved as draft, continued like.. today.. on the 17th of July. YES. i was THAT busy. haha!*

But when you take up such a challenge and try to put your convincing skills to practice, You actually get more opportunities! ie: people giving you their business cards, etc because they like the way you can sell/convince people to buy.

So that was one of z perks of challenging yourself to be the best and to do the best in whatever you are doing.

I honestly did feel very happy when people bought just because of my effort or just because i passed their test and managed to answer all their questions that they threw at me without warning. It is pretty satisfying to see all your effort and hard work, bearing fruit. It was good to know that i could actually build my connections by doing such jobs. Mmhmm..

But other than that, it was during the Mentos roadshow and the 3M fair that i realized how selling is no longer my cup of tea. Makes me wonder if it ever was to begin with. Hehs. But the Julie's roadshow was pretty fun though. :) Quite motivating. hahaa. Somehow, we were all really motivated to work for the Julie's roadshow. Wonder why. haha..

So yesh.. there you go. My work experience for z summer hollies, thus far.

no more selling for me for now. I need a break from selling.
Now, i wanna give.. give give give giveeeeeeeeeee~!

xoxo.!