What Does It Mean to Love Someone?

It puzzles me sometimes... 

How do you say you love someone and deliberately choose to do something that you know, will hurt them, in the very next second?

How do you say you love someone and deliberately choose to put them through a night of pain and tears?

How do you say you love someone and deliberately choose to prolong whatever pain that they are going through?

.....................................

In relationships, we get to know a person.. their likes and dislikes.. their strengths and their fears, their past and their future goals..

But why do people deliberately choose to hurt someone who they claim to love, so very much? 

Why do people make the effort to make their way into a persons life and get to know all of their flaws, dislikes and fears, only to one day use it against them? To deliberately CHOOSE to do something they very clearly know, will break, that person's heart?

How can this be love..? How can they claim this to be love?

Why do you build something up only to break it all down, one day?

Why do you take the risk of creating a scar that is beyond repair?

What does it mean to love someone? Because to me, this is not... love.

Because love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails...

So what's next?

Hello World~!


Happy to say that I am now officially, an Advocate and Solicitor of the High Court of Malaya! After years of law school, I am finally a lawyer! =)

To be frank, I actually enjoyed my pupillage/ chambering. I really did. Maybe because it was all new to me. I was learning new things everyday be it as simple as binding bundles of documents, highlighting relevant portions of a judgment or even drafting pleadings... submissions..

All in all I would say that it was an experience that I would choose to have even if I had the choice not to. I learnt so much in just these past 9 months. It was really cool applying whatever that I learnt in law school to practice. So that was really cool, to actually draft affidavits which I read so much about or even experience trials.. to observe how the senior partners in my firm handled themselves during cross-examination and so forth. I got to appear before judges in different states for case managements.. went for a criminal watching brief.. volunteered for 14 days at a legal aid centre, providing legal information to those who needed to be empowered with their rights or access to help..saved lives by helping teenage girls find shelters for emergency abuse situations..

It was great exposure for sure and it made me realize towards the end of my pupillage, the kind of things I look for in a work place.. what i like, what i don't... I got to really understand myself better and confirm a few doubts that i've always had.. you know, clearing the 'what ifs'. I definitely had my late nights in the office, stuck behind bundles of documents.. moments where I really questioned my presence in the legal field.. but like I said above, overall, it was a good experience. =)

So what have I been up to since pupillage ended? RESTING, for sure. Managed to pack in a holiday or two during the past two months.. but seriously though... the people around me need to CHILL. One week after pupillage ended, so many people were asking me whether i've found another job, whether i'm going to start working again soon and all.. and you know what i realized?

I've never actually, really, just... taken a break.. whenever I was on school holidays or semester breaks, I would be working my butt off to earn that extra income.. since I was 15 years old. Same old story every single time I get a little time on my hands.. and the past 9 months was no walk in the park. In fact, we weren't entitled to take leaves and applying for a medical leave was a HUGE task.. so much so, you'd rather just go to work sick instead of having to go through the whole tedious process just to get the Bar Council's consent of your medical leave. So the first thing I wanted to do the minute pupillage ended was to catch up on some sleep and just... REST.

And this is the first time i've decided to make a conscious effort to just slow down... take a break... breathe a little.. and just take my time to decide what's next, where to next and etc. I don't want life to just pass by without me realizing what's going on.. I want to live, life. I don't want to just go through it. You know what I mean?

I would LOVE travelling the world right now with all this time on my hands. Unfortunately, the bank account isn't too fond of the idea. Haha. But hey, we make do with what we have, right? =) So no pouting.. no complaining.. but i'm just going to take one step at a time.. have little joys here and there.. wherever I can.. but as usual, most of my time has been taken up by people, mostly. Catching up.. especially since I'm not the kind to meet a whole bunch all at once.. I prefer meeting people one on one.. at a more personal level.. those are the ones where I usually feel that hey, that was a good catch up session =)

Other than just chilling, i've been able to earn a little, here and there from actually FUN, ad hoc jobs. Haha. Ahh.. if only I can end up doing something that I actually enjoy whilst earning a steady income.. that's the dream. *dreamy face* But yeah, as much as I want this break to go on for a longer period of time, thankfully, i've secured quite a few interviews in the time to come.. and I guess we'll see where life takes me next. =) But I'm choosing not to stress about it.. to just take one step at a time.. to really be sure, that THIS *whatever it may be* is definitely what I would like to do, next.

We'll see. =)
Till next time,

xoxo.!

Tips for a Hit & Run Accident

Great news! Today marks the conclusion of my hit and run incident which took place on 16 July 2016. =) Davin Wong requested for details that might help others who fell in a similar situation. So here it goes! Just a few tips and pointers if you find yourself in a hit and run situation where the driver refused to stop (hence, a hit and run case).

1.       ALWAYS record the No. Plate. Otherwise police probably won't take action for a hit and run case.

2.       Try to snap a picture of the car who hit you. This is VERY helpful to prove that the car was there and you're not making up some random story.

3.       Take pictures of the position of your car on the road, which lane, etc to show that you were in the right lane. Or better still, take a video as well to explain or record down the exact incident that just took place. This will help you remember every single detail especially the date and time this took place. This is also helpful to record down any other car no. plate that might have witnessed the accident. (potential witnesses!)

4.       Make a police report on the day itself, ASAP.

5.       You will probably meet witht the Sarjan right away if he is in. Explain your story carefully and with precise details. Use the pictures and videos to help you if you are having difficulty remembering or explaining the scene to the Sarjan. Show the Sarjan a picture of the car who hit you. This is helpful because there are apparently cases where no. plates are being used on stolen cars etc. With the picture and description of the car, the Sarjan will know which car to look out for if the other party comes to the station.

6.       Sarjan in charge will tell you that he will try to contact the other party. Take photographs of the damage with the officer in charge and if it is a weekday, you should be able to collect your police report and pictures/ sketch on the day itself.

7.       Constantly follow up with the Sarjan on the situation of the case.

8.       My Insurance requires me to send my car to a panel workshop within 7 days, otherwise you'll have to write a reason for delay. So i sent my car to the panel workshop for the damage to be assessed and told them that I wanted to claim the 3rd Party's insurance for the damages incurred.This is called "ODKFK" claim. If your claim is successful, your NCB will not be deducted. Documents you will need to provide to your insurance panel workshop:

-          Police report

-          Photocopy of Registration Card (both sides)

-          Photocopy of IC

-          Photocopy of Driving License

-          Photograph taken by the police of the damage

-          Sketch Plan by the Police

-          Police investigation outcome report (to state who is at fault)

-          Your insurance policy (photocopy)

-          3rd Party's police report (if he made a report)

-          Signed Statutory Declaration of the incident that took place

9.       You will have to fill up a form where there is a claim form for your loss of use and claims for the documents you had to pay for (police report, sketch plans, etc). This is where you statutory declaration will come in handy. Refer to point 11 below.

10.   The decision of the Sarjan for the outcome of investigation will usually only be ready after 14 days from the date of your report. As such, you will have to go back to the panel workshop to give them the decision as soon as you collect it from the police station. You need to follow up closely with the Sarjan on this. This decision is important to determine whether you can make an ODKFK claim. If the decision states that the other party is at fault or rather states that no decision can be made as the other party did not come to make a police report, you can make an ODKFK claim. But as long as you are considered at fault, you cannot make an ODKFK claim. Then it's up to you whether you still want to fix your car at the panel workshop. But your NCD will be deducted in such cases.

11.   Once you've submitted your claims (usually your panel workshop will do this for you) and if the claim is approved by your insurance to make an ODKFK claim, the 3rd party's insurance will probably request for a statutory declaration from you in order to decide whether your loss of use claim, etc will be approved by them. (learn from my mistake and submit this as early as your first visit to the panel workshop! This will speed up your claim process immensely!)

12.   In my recent case, after providing them with the statutory declaration, they approved the claim and sent me a cheque (today) for the claims made. But there will be some insurance who will make it so hard for you to claim for loss of use and costs incurred for the documents etc. by stating that "as their insured did not notify them of any accident, your claim is disputed and should you wish to pursue the matter, file a civil action" or something along those lines. In such cases (which happened to me before) I decided to just forego the claim because it was RM 100.

I am not sure if I missed out any steps, but that is pretty much the bulk of what you need to know if you find yourself in a similar situation as I was in. I was really blessed this time round to have had an extremely helpful Sarjan as well as a responsible 3rd Party Insurance. So everything worked out fairly alright.

If you have any questions, feel free to comment below and i'll try to answer them!

Till next time,

xoxo.!

Road Bullies | What you need to know about the Law

Hello everyone,

I can't believe that it's been that long since I've last blogged!
I am now at the tail end of my 9 months of chambering. So have I figured out if practice is for me? Well, i'll leave that story for another post.

Today, i'd like to share with you some of the research that i have done regarding the Road Transport Act  1987.

Why?

Unfortunately, I encountered a minor accident with this road bully a week ago. And you all know how road bullies infuriate me to the core. So what happened?

I'll try to make this as brief as possible. I was on Jalan Dato Abu Bakar 16/1 heading towards Jalan Kemajuan. Jalan Dato Abu Bakar 16/1 was split into 3 lanes. I was on the middle lane and this road bully was on the right lane. After the traffic light, only the left and middle lane is permitted to head straight whilst cars on the right lane is only allowed to turn right. So what happened after the traffic light turned green? Surprise surprise, he tried to cut into my lane. Sadly, this wasn't the first time i was encountering such drivers on the road. Usually i'd just let them cut in and just let them go. But this time, i was already ahead of him, and yet, he tried to push me to the left lane and forced his way unto my lane. I honked him as i couldn't go to the left lane as there were other cars there but he kept on trying to force me out of my RIGHTFUL lane and kept coming closer! So i had to almost come to a stop whilst still sounding my honk but he still insisted on forcing his way unto the lane i was on! He saw me (because he was right beside my car but i was ahead of him) and exchanged glares but guess what he did when he couldn't get his way?

He literally bang the back right side of my car (passenger door)! How dare he! I put on my emergency lights and was ready to get out of my car. Surprise surprise, he reversed, tried to make his way from the right side of the road all the way to the left side, causing other vehicles to honk him and to come to a stop, passed by my car, stared at me as though i did something wrong and then drove off!

How to not get exasperated by people like this you tell me? Gah!

So anyways, I was told by the Investigating Officer on my case that in the event this road bully refuses to co-operate or to make a report within 24 hours, there's nothing he can do and the only remedy i'd have against this guy is to claim his insurance for the damages to my car which would cause his NCB to be deducted (not the most ideal remedy if you ask me). He told me that he cannot even issue him a fine because the owner of the car might not be the person who was driving the car at that point in time.

And before i carry on, I must make this clear to everyone reading this that the damage to my car IS NOT THAT BAD. In fact, it's a pretty minor damage. HOWEVER, i must make it clear to you that the main reason why I am pursuing this claim is because i just cannot tolerate such behaviors! I can't stand people who do something wrong, not only deliberately choose not to own up to it but worse still, try to make the victim feel bad and try to make us feel as though we did something wrong.

So yes. It's NOT about the damage. It's about my hope to make them road bullies realize that they cannot just do whatever they want and get away without any consequences.


So is it true? Is it true that the IO cannot even issue him a fine should he refuse to assist in this investigation?

NOT TRUE!

DUTY TO STOP IN CASE OF ACCIDENTS

s.52 of the Road Transport Act 1987 (RTA) requires the driver to STOP whenever an accident occurs. And if required, they are suppose to give his name and addresss and also the name and address of the owner and the registration number of the motor vehicle. And that's not all!

It is MANDATORY for him to make a report at the nearest police station within 24 hours! He SHALL provide his driving licence and SHALL render assistance to the police. Failure to do any of the above would render him GUILTY OF AN OFFENCE.

As there were no specific penalties provided under s.52, s.119 of the RTA provides that he could be fine RM 2,000.00 ! TWO THOUSAND RINGGIT. That's right. Or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 6 months.

Didn't know you had a duty to stop whenever an accident occurs huh? Always saw that as a common courtesy? Well now we know that it is actually your duty under the law to stop whenever an accident happens. Otherwise you could be guilty of an offence!


POWERS OF ROAD TRANSPORT OFFICERS IN INVESTIGATION

Under s.114 of the RTA, the investigating officer has the power to require information whether in writing or orally from any person supposed to be acquainted with the facts of the case under investigation. So, if this road bully refuses to comply with furnishing any required information by the police, he SHALL BE GUILTY OF AN OFFENCE and be liable to a fine not exceeding RM 5,000.00 or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding one year or BOTH!

FIVE THOUSAND RINGGIT for not furnishing information that was requested from the police. Five thousand or risk going to jail for a year! (or less)


WHAT IF THE OWNER IS NOT THE DRIVER a.k.a ROAD BULLY?


s.115 of the RTA provides that the owner of the car SHALL give the information required by the police as to the identity and address of the person who was driving the car at the time the accident happened. If the owner fails to do so within 7 days, he shall be guilty of an offence unless he proves that he did not know and could not with reasonable diligence have ascertained the information required. This offence, if committed, by virtue of s.119, he could be liable to a fine of RM 2,000 or imprisonment for a term not exceeding 6 months.

So the fact that the IO told me that he cannot issue the owner of the car a fine as he might not have been the driver is NOT TRUE. In fact, s.115A of the RTA provides that if the owner of the car fails to provide details of the identity of the driver or his address, the owner shall be DEEMED the driver at the time the accident happened. This means that the owner will be treated as though he was the person driving the car when the accident happened even though he denies it! So if you don't wanna be deemed the driver then co-operate and furnish the identity and address of the driver at that time.


POWER TO ORDER PRODUCTION OF MOTOR VEHICLE AND LICENCE

And last but not least, the police has the power to order the registered owner to produce the car or licence of the car, otherwise, he shall be guilty of an offence. By virtue of s.119, he could be liable to a fine of RM 2,000.00 or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 6 months.


So is it true that the IO cannot even issue him a fine should he refuse to co-operate?
NOT TRUE!

By not stopping; by not making a report within 24 hours; by refusing to render his assistance to the investigating officer; by not providing information requested by the police; this, in itself would already render him liable to a fine of at least RM 2,000.00 and if not RM 5,000.00. He could even be liable to go to jail if he refused to comply.

And FYI, when you encounter such road bully cases and this guy is a difficult one who doesn't want to co-operate, some insurance would reject your claim for loss of use, the costs to you incurred for police report and documentation etc. They would reject it on the basis that the road bully (their insured) did not inform them of this accident.

FYI, under s.104 of the RTA, the road bully is under a duty to NOTIFY HIS INSURANCE as soon as possible after the accident.

And just in case you were wondering which provision provides that people on the far right lane is only permitted to turn right, refer to Rule 8 of the ROAD TRAFFIC RULES 1959.

Rule 8(1) provides that at an intersection where the road is marked into 3 traffic lanes, the nearside lane shall only be used by vehicles turning left, the centre lane shall be used only by vehicles travelling straight ahead and the offside lane shall be used only by vehicles turning right.

So there you have it, just some knowledge and information about the RTA which I have come to know after doing some research on this. Because there was no way the Malaysian Law was that lopsided when it came to such road accident cases.

Now all that's left? Enforcement. The hardest part. The Law is there. Now, will it be enforced?


We shall see.



Till next time.
xoxo.!

Hello !

Hello, everybodyyy~!

So, how has things been?

First things first, I've got my CLP results and guess what?! :D

I passed and got a 2:2 for CLP , which I am very pleased with. Haha. Honestly, I didn't really care aiming for a second upper or a first class because with CLP? All you wanna do is just pass man. So the fact that i got a 2:2 actually makes me happy. hahah.

Nobody got  a first class, i think about 9 people got a second upper and the remaining got second class lower and third class.
Out of the 1000 plus candidates that took the exams this year, only about 220 people passed at the first go? So yeah, that's how tough CLP really is. :S

But Praise God that i only had to go through this once and not twice or thrice!

So whats next?

Well, I'm happy to say that I got a chambering position with one of the 4 biggest firms in KL and so far so good! =)

Of course, if my working hours were 8-5.30 kinda thing, that would be awesome. Provides a balance and all. But yeah, i guess i kinda expected and prepared myself for crazy working hours. But so far so good. I've not had to stay back in the office until 2am/3am. So i guess u can say life is good.... so far.

Honestly, if you ask me if this is what i want to do for the next 10 years of my life, I can't really give you a definite answer. I guess i'm currently in that phase where i'm just really trying to find out what I really want in life? I'm exploring and don't intend to narrow down my options just yet. But I for sure am not the kind that would stick to something i don't like just because i got a degree in Law.

Practice is just really not for everyone. It really isn't. And so, i guess you could say that i'm on a mission to find out if practice is for me. =)

When i went to court with the senior partners in my firm and observed what they were doing and how they had to do it, I questioned myself if i could see myself there, one day, before the judge, doing whatever they are doing. Honestly? I didn't have an immediate answer to that question. But i guess i'll take this 9 months of pupillage to figure that out. =)

On a side note, it's been really hard for me to actually feel like I have a life outside of work apart from my weekends, but i guess this is what its like in the working world! haha. Now i finally understand how precious weekends are. Because honestly? after coming back from work, i just feel like taking a shower and sleeping. Don't really have the time for anything else and definitely, don't have the energy to do anything else.

I did try to keep up with my normal workout routines after work for the first few weeks, but man, i wake up so tired the next day! Also, it's been crazy how i've been going to bed at like 10/11pm. I used to be this serious night owl! I sleep in the wee hours and all. But now, having to wake up at 6am every morning just doesn't give me that luxury of sleeping late anymore. I guess this is a good thing. Because i've struggled to even sleep by 12am every night for the past few years. But now i'm sleeping at 10/11pm. :O So yays! =D

The best friend is here, back from the UK for two months i think. And it's been great having her around and not having to wait 8 hours for her to reply my messages due to the different time zones. Actually made the effort to bring her out on a weekday night and whoah man! Although it was tiring, it actually felt pretty good! Because it makes me feel like i have a life outside of work. But at the same time it was way too tiring. haha.. sighs.

All in all, I'm still trying to let it sink in that I am officially out of my student life and have officially stepped into the legal profession! Because i still feel weird when people refer to my chambee mates as my colleagues. haha. Because i still feel as though i'm learning, which I am. Because pupillage is like a final lap before becoming a qualified lawyer where we learn the practical side of things and do things hands on. So yeah, you really never stop learning.

Haha, my post was so all over the place.
But who cares right? It IS my blog after all. I can be as messy as i wanna be. =P

I have soooooo many thoughts that i'd like to 'pen' down. But i guess i'll save that for another time. I hope to start blogging more often again. If i have the time.. that is. =)

Till next time!
xoxo.!

Sacrifices.

Hello world,

So here I am, awaiting the results of the CLP examinations to come out..
At the end of my student life and just really trying to figure out " Where do i go from here?"
I've been such a terrible blog keeper.. but then again, I don't blame myself.. CLP was a crazy and tough journey.. But that's a story for another day..

I'm here today to blog about the sacrifices that I have made in order to prioritize my studies.. Sadly, dance was one of em. & now i am feeling the painful after effects of doing so..

I used to dance at least once every week for a few years in a row.. until I got so busy with my studies that I could no longer afford the luxury of doing so anymore.. =( And everytime i was in the midst of revision, i'd see all my other dance mates perform here and there, go for competitions and basically grow and bloom from where they once were. I always feel so crappy after exams because i feel all rusty and all noobie once again. Sighs.... i really hate that feeling so much.....

The feeling of everyone else moving forward... except you.
Everyone growing and getting better... except you.
In fact, i felt like i was moving backwards... from the intense training i used to go through every week to occasional performances here and there.. and especially when it was just commercial performances but not something technical like the ones i used to do when i went for competitions etc.. Sighs...

Inevitably, i've become rusty. I've lost my touch. My groove. I'm not as sharp as i used to be. I don't dance as clean as i used to.. I feel like i'm just back at square one and sometimes, i feel like i'm even further back than square one. Sighs. I really hate the feeling of starting over all over again.. especially when dance is concerned. Because it's something that I love so much. But then whenever i get upset about my current position as a dancer, people always tell me that I have to move on, it's time to grow up, your career in the future won't allow you to have time for this anyway.....

But they don't understand that dance was that one place that I could escape and just be free.. to do something i love, just because i love it.

But it sucks watching your old videos, looking at how good you once were and how rusty you are now.. I don't really know how to explain the feeling.. but it's definitely one that i detest the most. =( For other things like getting my stamina back, getting fit and toned again after all the flabby months of revision and exams, that... I can handle. But not for dance.....

It's so painful to dance now, look at yourself in the mirror and feel like.. Gosh.. I suck now. T_T ='( Super sad can? Sighs.......

And this is probably the worse i've felt because final year and clp were the two years that i've really sacrificed my training for dance.. my practices.. I only did occasional easy performances here and there and that didn't really keep me in check. So i've not practiced seriously for two years plus now.. the longest i've stayed away from dance.. and it's so painful to be where I am now.. Sighs... ='(

Of course, I aim to get back my groove and all in the time that i have while awaiting my results before i step into the working world.. for real. I wanna do as many dance videos as I can in this one month that I have left and of course, try my best to improve in each video..

But then yeah lah.. I just hate starting all over again. It's so painful. =(((

Le sigh.

Life. & the sacrifices that comes with the choices that you make... and the consequences that follows after.


*cries a river*

Happy, right where I am.

I'm currently in preparation for my final exam in my student life. (yes! the last exam sitting, ever! *hopefully* ) And yes, i know that many of you are confused as to why i'm still sitting for yet another exam even after i've graduated. haha.

Just to clarify, i'm currently preparing myself for a professional paper that i will be sitting for in July before I chamber with a law firm. So yes! My final exam before going out into the big-bad-world. Haha.

For the past 4 years, i've always been slogging at least 4-6 months before every exam during my degree. My course was such that I only had to sit for one exam at the end of every year. So I would usually commence my infamous "isolation from the world" period 6 months before my exam. During that time, I'd make sure I sleep enough hours because whats the point of studying so much but falling sick on the day of the exam, right? But what I always forsake during these periods was my fitness as well as making the effort to eat healthy. Time was never a luxury that i could afford and so i would always just eat anything that was quick,easy and fast. And we all know how its just terribly difficult and expensive to eat healthy when you're constantly away from home, stuck in the library.

I had terrible eating habits during these periods and to make things worse, i forego exercising as well. Because every second and minute was way too precious. So after my exams, every single year for the past 4 years, I always hated how i felt and look. I would've gained a few kgs and become all flabby. I hated how my stamina would drop so low and how I had to work hard for at least a few months to get back into shape. I hated feeling as such, every single time I was done with exams and I told myself, this year, I would not allow myself to feel like that again.

So although the up coming exam is terribly difficult and tough, although it is only less than 3 months away, I've been making a conscious effort to eat healthily - No fast food, processed food, etc. I've also been working out every single day, making a conscious effort to sleep earlier and get at least 7 hours of sleep every night but at the same time, keep up with my studies.

It's not easy. In fact, it has been quite a challenge to wake up really early so that I can exercise before leaving the house for the library or for a whole day of class, planning the night before what to eat, and at the same time, study and all. But it's worth it and I know it will be especially worth it when I am finally done with my exams, but still toned, fit and healthy.

Because all the money in the world cannot give me back the hours of sleep that i have lost or my health. Hence, all the conscious effort to not repeat what I've been doing for the past 4 years. 

And guess what?

I've never felt better! Although exams are drawing nearer, and time is of the essence, the pressure and stress is setting in, but doing all of this, is making me happy despite all the stress. Although the exam is a pretty big part of my life, it is JUST an exam and there is just way much more to life than an exam sitting. So yeah! I've made a choice to LIVE LIFE and to do what makes me happy. =) I feel so much more healthy, happy and I hope that I get to carry this with me until after my exams. =D

till next time!

xoxo.!

Stuck in Between.

Sighs. My whole life, i've always been the middle person for almost every drama that passes by me. I hate it. I really do. Getting stuck in between the raging wars of two parties. Hah! what a joke. Just thought about how Lawyer's do that for a living.

But it sucks i tell you.
Especially when i'm neutral with both parties.

I really hate cleaning up other people's mess for them.
I have better things to do.
More things to care about than to get stuck in the middle of such wars.
It's so stressful.. I can't have a normal day when I myself am trying to recover from a terrible past few weeks. Sighs. And worse of all?

You somehow or rather end up being the bad person for preposterous reasons.
Mans. U have no idea how hard I am trying not to let all of this affect me.
And to actually have a normal happy day.

*BIG SIGH*

And when all you've done is help, somehow or rather you get taken for granted, unappreciated and worse still, shouted at.

I'm done.

I don't deserve any of this.
Not the slightest bit.

I think it's time to start making a conscious effort to just... Not Care.

pfft.

Time to start writing again.

Hello world,

I have been so busy living life that I've forgotten the joy i found in 'penning' down my deepest feelings and thoughts.

A whole lot of change has happened over time and I have definitely change as a person, if not entirely. A tonne of opportunities have come knocking at my door step and so have a tonne of challenges that i've had to face both physically and emotionally.

You see, I've always been this busy bee ever since time immemorial. Somehow, i've always found myself swamped in a tonne of responsibilities and activities. "She's defo an extrovert who needs to be busy all the time." But maybe not. Being completely overwhelmed sometimes, or almost always, most often than not leads me to become this anti-social person that really just need some 'alone-time'. Yes, surprise surprise, I have my anti-social moments as well. Be fooled not by the cover of my book.

That's why it's all the more.. precious? when i actually take the time and effort to catch up with a friend or ask them out for a catch up session. Despite me feeling anti-social and needing all the 'alone-time' that i can get, i choose to spend it on these handful of people. Hence why it's very disappointing or upsetting when they don't take my time seriously or do not make that effort to even try to catch up with me.

It's tough, keeping a friendship alive.. it really is.. Especially when everyone is just scattered all around. That's why tht effort has to be there and if it isn't then it just gets really exhausting..doing things one sided. But anyways, such is life and sometimes when friendships are lost I can tell myself "Oh well.. that's just a shame" but it doesn't change the fact tht i would definitely feel sad that things had to end. But then again, i'll get over this after a while.

Similarly with people judging me. I always tell myself, u know what, heck care what others think about you, as long as you like you, let them like you for you. But then it's most often easier said than done. It's tough not getting upset about the mean things people say about you sometimes..it really is..

Recently i've become more active in the commercial dance scene and I usually only accept hiphop dance gigs or styles that are in my comfort zone. But in December last year, i accepted a more 'girly-girl' gig tht would require me to dance in high heels and fancy gatsby burlesque kinda outfits. I was superrrr nervous about it because it was definitely something out of my comfort zone. It was my first time dancing in high heels! I've always been dancing in shoes all the way. haha. So yeah, it was nerve wrecking. And to make things worse, in this scene, people usually expect you to have a bikini body and if not, be skinny in order to fit the costumes that were tailored for super models. *big sigh* So there were times when I was at my lowest, feeling extremely down for having a bigger butt and chest which made the costumes too tight to dance in. It was a major self-esteem buster. I felt like, my gosh, u expect us to dance in these things? And if it was already tight for the skinny girls, what more for me? It was a tough moment for me.. a really tough time.. making me feel that i shouldn't accept these kinda shows in the future. Because it wasn't worth feeling that way. Feeling like I had to be of a certain body weight and size in order to fit in. So dancing really well isn't good enough. You had to have a bikini body too. So that really sucked and i dreaded being in the scene. I don't like being skinny and I love having boobs and ass. I'm proud of it. =P But it's just too bad that the world today perceives skinny as beautiful.

So likewise, it was easy for me to say, screw these tailored made costumes for super models. It's ridiculous! But it doesn't change the fact that it was a major self-esteem buster. And so whenever people make comments like, 'You're so smart and pretty.. you should also slim down abit more to be that perfect package..'

I mean come on guys! Who says stuffs like that?! I ain't your property, you ain't my manager, so leave me alone! My goodness. Some people have the lowest EQ of all times. Say brainless things without thinking about it first. I mean, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. And if i want to work out to be fit, that's my problem! So leave me be. Seriously. I'm so fed up of people judging me all the time, putting all these obscure standards of that which i should meet. The truth is, you can never please the world. So i definitely don't plan on giving two hoots about what you think i should be.

I will be whatever I WANT to be.
So if you have nothing nice to say, please, keep your opinions and comments to yourself. Because despite how strong and tough I can be, I too am human and I have feelings as well. Geez.

SIGH.
So yeah, that's just a portion of the things i've been going through inside. I don't often talk about it.. and i mostly just try to struggle through this battle within, alone. Ever since young, i've always taken all of these negative comments and opinions about me and use it as a motivation to PROVE EM' WRONG !!! But at times, I do have my vulnerable moments where my feelings just overwhelm me and then i start to feel upset and hurt about all that has been said and done. And I guess I am going through that moment right now.. but i've decided to blog about it this time.. Hopefully, i'll feel better..somehow.

Till next time.
xoxo.

It's the last month of the Year! *gasp!*

Hello world!

So yes, it's been a while since i've given you guys a proper update about my current life. But I guess i've been too busy living to type it all down.

So nothing much has changed since my previous post.
Life is still all hectic, with all the juggling between my working life, student life and well, being a daughter, grand daughter, sister, girl friend, friend and yeah, u get the idea.

ALTHOUGH!
A few good news to share!
So yes, i am officially a Law Graduate! Woooop!!
It was great having my entire family and best friend and boyfriend and friends with me on that special day! =) It was such a lovely celebration. Did you know that at the very last second, i decided in all sillyness to dance my way on stage to get my cert instead of walking like every other normal human being? hahahahahaha. Yesssssss. I totally did so.

Don't regret it though! Received my cert in styleeeee~~~ haha. And not to mention the amount of smiles and laughter that followed as a result of my little performance. =P

Besides that! I got my second Book Prize award for my LLB Degree! =D This time, I got the highest in the Law of Succession for my class of 2014 ! =D Got a first for that Sub! *yayyyyy* And to top that!

My marks appears to be the HIGHEST IN THE WORLD for the University of London Succession exams 2014 !!!!!!

woooooop!!! Statistics showed that in Zone A ( Exam candidates sitting in the UK) 0.00 % obtained an A for Succession. and in Zone B (Exam candidates sitting elsewhere in the World) 1.0 % obtained an A for Succession. And guess who is that 1% in the world????!

:DDDDDDD Oh manssssss. Never have i imagined being the top scorer in the WORLD. This is insaneeeee. And if my memory did not fail me, a part of my answer script was used as an example in the Examiner's Report !! How cool is that?!

Oh mansss. I used to think that all these students must be really brilliant to have been taken as examples for future students to learn from. And now i've had the opportunity of being used as an example for future students! This is so exciting really! =D

Manssss. Never saw myself as being a total Nerd. But i guess i really hit the Nerd-ish end during my final year. haha. no choice okay! It was the final lap after years of effort and hard work! Wasn't going to let it all go to waste! =P

So yes! So happy that i finally got to cross out a few more items on my wishlist column on the right hand side. =) Feel so blessed every single time i get to cross out a fulfilled wish. =))

And yes, I will become a full-time student when 2015 arrives! Will be ending my contract with my current Company in December. This part-time studying and part-time working has been pretty hectic and I guess my studies need my undivided attention once the new year begins! So yeah, i'm really looking forward to becoming a full-time student once again. My final year of my student life! or rather, final 7 months of my student life! Gonna give it all i've got and hopefully, move on to being a chambee with a law firm in September next year. =)

A whole lot of bad occurrences have been a part of my October and November as well. But I am choosing to talk only about the good things, this time.

till next time!

xoxo.!