♥ H e a R t s

Not Like The Movies.

2012-01-28T00:48:00.000+08:00

He put it on me, I put it on,
Like there was nothing wrong.
It didn't fit,
It wasn't right.
Wasn't just the size.
They say you know,
When you know.
I don't know.

I didn't feel
The fairytale feeling, no.
Am I a stupid girl
For even dreaming that I could.

If it's not like the movies,
Thats how it should be, yeah.
When he's the one,
I'll come undone,
And my world will stop spinning
And that's just the beginning, yeah.

Snow white said when I was young,
"One day my prince will come."
So I wait for that date.
They say its hard to meet your match,
Find my better half.
So we make perfect shapes.
If stars don't align,
If it doesn't stop time,
If you cant see the sign,
Wait for it.
One hundred percent,
With every penny spent.
He'll be the one that,
Finishes your sentences.

If it's not like the movies,
Thats how it should be.
When he's the one,
He'll come undone,
And my world will stop spinning,
And thats just the beginning.

'Cause I know you're out there,
And your, your love came for me.
It's a crazy idea that you were made,
Perfectly for me you'll see.

Just like the movies.
That's how it will be.
Cinematic and dramatic with the perfect ending.
It's not like the movies,
But that's how it will be.
When he's the one,
You'll come undone,
And your world will stop spinning,
And it's just the beginning.

Wowh.

2012-01-23T17:11:00.000+08:00

This hit me real hard.

" When others affect the course of your life, you face a moment of decision. Though you cannot change the past, you can affect the future by your response to the wrong you suffered at their hands. You can feed the fire of bitterness, or you can hold your scars before God and ask for grace to forgive others for what they have done in the past. "

I chose to spend my 1st day of CNY at home.
To accompany my grandma.

Ahhh her Chai Siew Ngor is always the best every single year! that is one of the few things that I really look forward to every chinese new year! so yep. had a great vegetarian brunch! =) Although, she was watching her hokkien programs on astro, i just sat beside her and read a book. I guess, even though we're not talking and doing our own stuffs, I think my presence there means something to her.
from time to time she'd talk to me and ask me stuffs.. AND THEN..

it started raining heavily and Astro pun tak boleh tengok edy.
At that point, i was REALLY happy i chose to stay at home and accompany her. Imagine, first day of CNY, alone, and astro also tak boleh tengok. how weih.. she sure emo to the max lor..
Anyways, we started talking and talking and talking..and she shared with me bits and pieces of her past that was unknown to me. Then i realized how many scars of the past that still hurts her from time to time. Even though all these things have happened over i dunno? 50 years ago? Theres so much bitterness, anger, pain, disappointment, and sadness that is still piling up in her heart. After hearing all her stories, I really wanted to encourage her to let go of her past and to forgive and forget. Then again, even I myself sometimes find it difficult to let go of the past. What more my grandma who has been through so much? And she even admit that she's someone who'd keep it all in her heart and she'll never forget. And she is, she is like that. So i decided to just stay put, and be the listener. Made me think alot about my own life as well.. hmm..

That passage up there really hit me hard. Real hard.

On a side note, guess how i spent my rm200 book voucher?

RM150. gone just like that!

And i cant believe how expensive colour pens are! always wanted them but never bought em because i thought the prices were ridiculously expensive.

RM42. cant believe i spent that much on just colour pens.

Besides the price, really happy that i finally own a set of these! Hope they'd last me a reasonable length of time!

RM50 more to go. =)
doubt i'd buy any story books. Prolly gonna spend it all on stationaries. Have I ever told you about my love for stationaries? =) Yesh. I really like stationaries. Maybe not as crazy as last time. while i was in primary school and secondary school, when my family and i pergi shopping in giant/tesco/carefour/jusco, i'd go straight to the stationary side and i could stay there for hours. =P hahaha.. Oih! Dont laugh at me k. its normal.. i think. Man. i even told myself.. " when i grow up, i want to own my own stationary shop! " LOL. Who knows? i might still do that after i've had enough of all the law and yada yada. =D

Sissy and Bro in law and nephew and niece on their way!
Hope to have better days of the remaining hols!

xoxo.!

Lord, i do not deny the pain that I have experienced, but by your grace I give you those painful wounds, no matter how deep they are. I realize that I am powerless to fix the past or to change others, but I also understand that your love can heal me. I give you my scars, and I thank you for the peace and mercy and joy that will flourish within me in the absence of bitterness.

2012-01-23T00:52:00.002+08:00

Okay la. Sorry for such an emo entry. LOL.

Have a great CNY everyone!
Eat in moderation but Collect as many ang paos as you can! =P
And most importantly, have a great time berbonding with ur famiwee. =)

xoxo.!

Reunions

2012-01-22T23:14:00.001+08:00

The only thing that hasn't change about CNY?

The Ang Pows,cookies and fireworks.

You know, those reunion dinners we always see in the movies?
Where each child is busy with their own life..and everytime they've to come back for reunion dinner it becomes a hassle and they're only there because they HAVE to? its sad isn't it? the way people end up? From a reunion that happens because everyone wants to be reunited to a reunion where everyone is there only because they have to.

I wonder why the same story line applies to most families nowadays.

Its such a sad story line. =(

2012-01-21T13:17:00.002+08:00

You're like a windmill.
Wherever the wind blows, there you will go.
Have you not known me long enough to have a little faith in me?
To trust and believe that I will be there whenever you need me?
To know that i'm a person of my words?
To know that I love you enough to drop everything present in my life and travel a few hundreds of kilometers just to be with you?
It's saddening, to see how your faith and trust in me is so easily shaken.
Over and over, it happens again and again.
Still, I never left.
Still, I stayed.

What more can I do to show you, that the love i have for you, is true?

The start of My 2012. =)

2012-01-15T21:01:00.001+08:00

Hey all! =)
SO! I know i promised to blog about the Christmas Party that was done in my College but i seriously had NOOO time weih! hahahaa..even all the pictures are still stored up in the December 9 folder, left untouched! I've yet to upload them. But ANYWAYS! =P Here's bits and pieces of my 2012 thus far. =)

Ching came back from Australia and brought these lovelies for me! hehe.. ^.^!!! I know i know i am so lovedddd! =)))))) Thanks Ching! I had a very good time with you that day even though it was only for a while. Wished we could've spend more time together.. I miss you already. =(

And Besides being busy with my studies, I was also working. =)

I Taught Dance at the Follow Me company. Taughtt the KL headquarters. =)

It felt quite weird when they called me Teacher. hahaa.. felt so old.. =P
Victor: HI TEACHER!

Me: *stun for a while* Ohhh Hiiii!
hahahahaa..

This is actually my 3rd year teaching them.. =) I must say, they definitely stretch my capabilities and bring me out of my comfort zone each time they ask me to teach and choreograph for them! This year, it was a much smaller group compared to the previous years. It was easier to coach and guide them. But we barely had any time this year! They called me so last minute this year. But anyways, from our last session on the 12th, they look pretty promising to me. =) They were so nice! after our last session, they brought me to Chilis at Empire Shopping Gallery for dinner! =)) Thanks alot guys! It was quite tiring to go up and down and have classes and then teach and vice versa. But I had a good time teaching you all. The commitment and effort you put in definitely made me proud! Regardless of what you'll get at your competition, To me, You've already won. =) I came in, looking for commitment and to see you putting your heart to it and that is exactly what you guys gave me this year. =) Jia You ah you all! Don't forget to have fun!

And Guess Who came back from Australia too?! =))

Aaron Dominic Ong Chai Hong! =PP
Your name so long laaarhs! hahaha..

I lovvveeee candids! =D

Went to Ikea! First meatball of the year! and first time trying their cheesecake! You hungry already? =PPP hehe..

Thanks alot for the great day! Its amazing how we got here and how we're still here! hahahaa.. What? 8 years? =) I had a really good chill day.. So nice to have a chill day when your whole week was just HECTIC *see i can pronounce* =P. HWHY HWHITE? hahahahahahahahahahahaha~ *sowee inside joke* =D

And Today! I got to see Jet,Victor and jess!
ahhh i missed you guys!

Hahahah Jet your eyes! LOL!

It was good catching up with you Jet! =)

And then we had a 'surprise' for Jov's 21st Birthday! But it was a PHAILED surprise. hahahaa.. JJ U HAVE NO RIGHT TO BLAME ME! hahaha..all i did was replied.. T_T But anyways, it was so good seeing them again.. I really miss all of you alot.. alot alot alot alot alot.

So now, No more work, Just studies. =D

NOT.

I've a dance competition coming up on the 19th of February and gila intense training shall start this week. We've what? a month till the competition? I really hope we'll win! Lets do this! =)))

I promise myself, that after this dance competition, I will not get myself involved in anything else. No work, no other commitments. Just studies. =)

Till next time!

Have a great week all!

Let me just end with this quote by Catherine Booth.

" It is FAITH that brings power, not merely praying and weeping and struggling, but believing, Daring to Belive the written word with or without Feeling. "

Lord, I'm thankful that you desire to speak through me. Help me learn to depend completely on you and to trust you for the right words at the right time. Whenever I am in a tight spot, I know that you are especially with me then, giving me just the right words to say to bring your life, light and glory because you are the only one who can do this. Thank you for your wisdom and timing, which are always perfect.

xoxo.!

2012-01-08T20:00:00.001+08:00

Lord, my heart longs to hear your voice just as Jesus did. Help me to draw away from this frantic and busy world to be alone with you. Open my eyes to see what you want to show me, my ears to hear what you desire to tell me. Then and only then will I know what to pray in secret as I respond to your heart.

Lord, thank you for your promise that those who ask receive and that when we seek, we will find. Grant me the grace to persevere, to keep on asking, seeking and knocking until the answer comes. Thank you for the power and grace of your spirit who gives me the strength to persevere in prayer even when I am at my weakest moment and ready to give up.

Thank you Lord.

Family.

2012-01-07T23:36:00.001+08:00

Just watched this movie called " Our Idiot Brother "
Its about 3 busy sisters,with lives of their own and a brother who is stupid and naive but someone that has a big heart. He is easily lied to, cheated and believes people very easily. But thats the sad part, His big heart, his attitude of always wanting to help people whenever they need him despite how busy he is, when you need him, He'll be there, is always taken advantaged of. But regardless of how mean they are to him, he still loves them with all his heart.

You know, the plot is pretty typical but it is also a plot that shows the reality of families nowadays.

I just really hope that one day, when i am even busier than I already am with my career, i will not turn out to be like one of these sisters. Its really heartbreaking to see a family become so.... empty?

From one that is united, and one that is filled with love,respect,kindness,laughter and joy.. vanish into thin air because of time,money and selfishness. Money being the sole cause of fights between families are SO TYPICAL. soooo typical.. soo saddening. Fighting over money is just stupid lah. And then when they realize in the end that the bonds that they have are broken because of money can never be bought back.. they start drowning in self pity or regrets.

Too late.

My family is definitely not a perfect one.
We've had our happy days and our sad ones.
All families do. All families have their own set of problems.
I definitely miss the times when we were all closer and more united.
I miss the warmth and love that used to surround our family.
I miss the fact that we, The Yaps, we're always the family people look at and say, Wow. What a great loving and united family.

People change and situations change as time goes by.
But i know for sure that Family? family stays.
God given and something that money can never buy.
Something that is not of choice but is one that is to be treasured and held onto,dearly.

Things may not be how they used to be, but we're all still alive aren't we?
We're still a family and i dont see whats stopping us from being the loving and united family that i know we used to be and can be.

Cykm, dont you ever become one of those career first,money first,family second kind of person. Dont you ever.

I love you guys.

U too Jie.

xoxo.!

First week Done?!

2012-01-07T03:13:00.002+08:00

Was that fast or was that fast?! Felt as if i just did the flash mob for new year's eve and the first week of 2012 is already coming to an end!

Accomplishments of my first week?

Well, One thing that i'm super proud of is that.. I THINK.. i have finally found my secret ingredients to staying super focused in PUBLIC LAW class! ahhhh! =D i always super down on fridays coz of public law lorh.. i feel so lost.. feel like im drowning.. feel so dumb. =.=! But i have found, my secret ingredient. Lets just hope it works even for next week!

I have to admit. I was sooo busy in december, soo exhausted that my attention span in class was quite low.. And no matter how hard i tried to stay awake during public law, i sure doze off 1-2 times lah.. =( But this week?! One whole strike, SUPER FOCUSED. So yeah, super happy about that! yay! =D!

And guess what? First week of 2012 and i'm already busy as a bee! I'm currently working and studying. I'm teaching dance. Teaching the "Follow Me" company to be specific. So sometimes, i teach dance in Subang in the morning and then drive back to KL for class. Or go to class and right after class rush to Subang to teach. So yeah, its been such a tiring week! The Jam drains me out even more i tell you.. But its alright.. I shouldn't grumble i guess. Coz not many get such opportunities. Though, it feels REALLY WEIRD/AWKWARD when someone 10-20 years older than me calls me, "TEACHER!" HAHAHAHA! Aiyooh! i always stun for a while then only respond to them. HAHA. When they see me, they go, " Hi teacher! " Me: *stun, Process* oh hi! =D lolllll!

But i should feel bangga in a way i guess. =)
So yes! Studies? Check! was a good week.
Work? Check! was good too!

Meeting up with Friends? FAIL. SUPER FAIL. haihs.
Wan Ching's back from aussie also i havent got to see her up till now. =( Sometimes i'm so busy till i dont even have time to call her back or reply her. feel so bad. =( Aaron is also back from aussie and i've not even planned a time to meet. Suppose to meet marilyn since last year till now also havent seen her. i think for at least 3 months plus edy..or 4.. or more! :O! and haha! yesterday, i was so tired, that i didn't even have energy to talk to my brother and it was only like 11pm plus! CAN U BELIEVE IT?! Celine Yap.. 11pm, battery flat! *No waaaaay~~~!*

AND. i starting to feel the stress of exams already. 10 May is the date! *Stop! shh! dun say a word~!*
10 MAY is NOT far away and "still long way more to go lah~" Not in the language of Law, No! So yeah, if i could, i'd stay back in college everyday till 9pm. But i cant. sighs. And i dont like studying at home. so cramp. =(

SO YESH.
that has been me, eversince the year started.
And have u checked out my new songs?! Recently discovered Mat kearney, ben rector and peter bradley adams! they're so good lah! These kind of songs i like! Not much of the main stream person. So happy i found them! =)

*gasp!* 3am plus edy! Gotta wake up in a few hrs time! Bringing grandma out for breakfast and fetching her to do her stuffs. Then got dance prac for sunday's performance! ahhh goodnig..... Morning!

xoxo.!

So this is how it feels..

2012-01-04T01:05:00.002+08:00

.. to be on the other side.

2012.

2012-01-04T00:09:00.000+08:00

Happy new year everyone!

I'd usually blog and reflect about the year that has come to pass or pen it down somewhere. but this year? this year i decided to make a video of my journey in 2011. =) all the pictures and videos put together. it took up alot of my time but i'm glad i did it. Cause not only i, but many others have smiled watching this video.

Last year, has been one heck of a ride!
One moment, flying so high, and the next moment, i'm falling faster than gravity.
But that is how my life is.
But despite all the times i've been hurt, pushed down, stepped on, let down, torn..
I am still standing here today, being a testimony to others.
I am still standing here today, being a blessing to others.
I am still standing here today, telling u how great my God is.
because I am still standing here today.

Despite all the tough times, I can tell you that i would not have want my life to be any different because all the challenges that i've faced have shaped me into the person i am today.

What my lil brother said is true. The video only shows all the smiles,laughter and good times i've had. Pictures and videos clearly do not show the pain one goes through. But then again, aren't the good memories the ones that we want to keep and hold dearly rather than the bad that should be forgotten and let go?

Thank You Pa and Ma.
For disciplining me, shaping me, guiding me into the person i am today. So i've heard, You've done a good job at raising me! =P

Jie,
I'm sorry for keeping such a distance from you for all this time. Sometimes, i just cant help but stay away for my own reasons. I will not forget the day u helped me wrap my textbooks.

Benson,
I'm sorry for being so cold to you so many times last year. I try really hard but whenever i'm about to be warm again, something just pulls me back and i instantly build a wall. i'm sorry.

Ban Ho,
I'm sorry if i've been selfish towards you or been too busy to spend more time with you last year. You know We could be twins if we wanted. Thats how close we are despite whatever. But as your elder sister, I'm sorry if i've ever been selfish towards you or if i sometimes gave u the impression that i care more about my friends. You know I love all of you alot.

Family, I cant promise you anything and i wont promise you anything because i believe actions speaks louder than words and only time will tell whether i'd be a better person this year. But for whatever wrong i have done thus far, i hope you will forgive me. The "im not perfect" quote is not and should never be an excuse for my wrong behavior. Though, i also hope that you will remember that I am only Human and there is only so much i can take at a time. I just want y'all to know that even though sometimes i may seem closer to my friends than to y'all, U will always be family and I will always love you no matter what happens between us. Theres still love, even in silence.

Friends,
Thank you so much for all the love and care you have showered me with. For all the times you tried to cheer me up, for all the gifts,smses and calls, for all the support and encouragement, for blessing me by simply being part of my life. Each and everyone of you played a significant role in my life. You know who you are. =)

Without God, i definitely could not have got through 2011.
Really.

I look back, and I told myself,
I am happy with my Life.
Are you?
if you're not, why not?
My last question to you is,
What then, are you going to do about it?

Heres to a new year, heres to a better year!
2012, a year of change.

xoxo.!

Blessed Christmas! =)

2011-12-26T01:34:00.002+08:00

Hey all!

Just wanna wish all of you a blessed christmas!
I'm suppose to be packing nowwww~! HUGE is tmr and i've not packed! CORRECTION. HUGE is in a few hours time, TODAY and i've not packed!

But i suddenly had this thought, and i felt like 'penning' it down. =)

GIFTS.

when we give, anything at all. Be it presents, be it money, be it random stuffs. When the person we give, dont appreciate it. Or rather, dont show any appreciation or whatsoever, Dont we all feel like.. " Ngeeehhh, i bagi u present, u macam tak appreciate, tahun hadapan, tak nak bagi lagi.*folds arms, HMMPH*! " Dont we do tht? We feel like, "ohhh ok la, be tht way. nxt year no more prezzies for you!" Hahaha deny all u want k. But its only human to feel tht way when u feel like your effort is not appreciated.

I know quite a few people who are like that.
Every time, when i buy them gifts,
#1. When i give, they receive like .. " Ohh kk thx. *put present aside, continue doing their stuff* "
#2. They NEVER use whatever you buy them.
#3. They just dont appreciate lah!

So, to be honest, it can be quite discouraging. Very potong steam and potong semangat one la k. Really. Even just now, i was just thinking about it. " CYKM, why do u still give every year, when you know they just generally dont appreciate gifts?! why do you still waste your time,your money, your effort preparing gifts every year? if they dont appreciate, dont give la? not like they use it anyway? even if they do, not like they appreciate it anyways? well, they dont show that they appreciate it la. So why still give? so potong u know. =( u dont even get to see their smile when they receive it. thats like, the most priceless thing when giving someone a gift. "

AND THEN.. i started to think.
" But eyh, maybe outside they act macho and all, but actually inside they really appreciate it? Maybe they do, but just dont show it? "

Friends,
What do you have in mind when you Give?
Do you have any expectations or whtsoever? What is your definition of a Gift?
Shouldn't gifts be given, without expectations, without expecting anything in return?
what is your motive when you give?

I know it is only human to expect at LEAST, a smile. That one smile that could brighten up your day, telling you, " definitely worth it. coz the feeling of seeing them smile is priceless! "

But still,
Isn't it true? That despite their reaction when they receive it, despite whether they do appreciate it or not, isn't it still called, a Gift?
freely given, with no strings attached?

When God gave us His only begotten son, Did he say, "Hey look here, my son, my ONLY son, is going to die for all your sins, Because of that, you MUST worship me, or AT LEAST, give credits to my son's name. His name must be publicized, his suffering must be acknowledged! U SHALL do this and tht and tht, because He died in your place, your soul is now mine.... "

He did not. He sent His ONLY son, to be born as human, and to die, a painful death on the cross, taking our place for all the sins we humans have done, just so that we could be connected with God again, without sin, being the barrier.

This I call, a Gift.

One that is given freely, with no strings attached.
One that is given out of Love.
One that is given not because of the works you have done, But one that is given by the Grace of God.

The misconception of the word "Gift" nowadays is quite sad.
They go " BUY this and this and this and you will get a FREE GIFT. "
Right. free gift konon. ;)

heh.

So YES!
Unless you...
Give, with a willing heart,
Give, with no expectations *although i know it is quite hard not to have the slightest expectation*
Give, without expecting anything in return.

How in the world is whatever you're giving called a gift?! =P

Blessed Christmas Everyone!
I hope you've been blessed this CHRIST-mas,
as Jesus is definitely the reason for this season. =)
Its not abt the gifts,not abt santa,not abt the fancy decos and snowmans, But has and always will be about My savior, My father, My Lord, My God. =)

1 week left till 2012 arrives!
I hope all us will be able to resolve whatever conflicts we have and welcome/start the new year with a smile. =)

Blessed Christmas and a Happy new year!
xoxo.!

2011-12-20T03:27:00.004+08:00

It's funny how people can have such contrasting views.

When you're in a certain situation.

One might want to switch places with you, anytime of the day.

One, on the other hand, might dread being in the position he/she is in.

Why now?

Sighs.

Because today i'm Happy. =)

2011-12-14T01:40:00.001+08:00

Ahhh guess wht guess wht guess wht?!!!!

I received a package from london today!
A box filled with love,memories and smiles! and surprises and sweetness!
Have not smiled or felt this happy since 2 months ago!
Happy got la, but not this happy!

You got me KOJL. =)
U caught me by surprise!
ahhh.. i just LOVEEEE receiving things by post!
they're somehow so much more meaningful. the time and effort and love put into preparing the package? something money can never buy. =)

Anyways. Something i realized and somehow just felt like 'penning' it down.
I realized one of the reasons why I dont easily open up to people.
Not just merely opening up, but more like, opening up my heart and letting someone into my life be it a very close friend or someone special.

When I do open up to someone, i tend to share alot of things that are very dear to me with them. All sorts of things. My favorite makan place, my favorite shopping/hang out place, my favorite park, my day to day happenings, my childhood memories, my favorite songs, my secret getaway, special places that i've discovered that is like, SUPER AWESOME, these places, only a few i have brought. my favorite radio station, favorite movies, etc!

so so so so so many things lah.
But what happens when they disappear from my life?
what then?

everytime i go to my favorite makan place,park,shopping place, movies,songs,radio stations, food etc, I remember these people whom i've shared it with. Each and every single one of them. Whether or not they are still in my life or not. If they are, happy memories they shall be. If they aren't, they're happy memories that ended with a twist.

Now, these places or things that i've shared mean a great lot to me. But when certain people are no longer in my life, the pain/hurt/sad memories/ etc lingers in these places or things as well. So much so, as much as i love going to these places, when i DO go back to these places, i cant help but have a walk down memory lane.

Sighs. this has happened to me so many times.
And it really is crappy when things or places that you love so much are associated with the sad memories,hurt,pain,and sadness as well. Its something like giving your favourite toy to someone. Entrusting him/her to take care and handle it with love. but in the end, when things dont turn out right, the toy is somehow, idk la damaged? that whenever u play with that toy again, u see the scars imprinted on it. Each scar, holding its very own story.

wow.
Random realization about myself. =)
One of the many reasons.
hehs. No wonder I dont easily open up to people. =)
Its no wonder.

xoxo.!

Sleep Deprived like no ones business! :O

2011-12-13T00:10:00.002+08:00

Hey dear readers!

I have been soooo stressed out and tired the past 2 weeks! Busy busy bee!

Good news is, One of my major events for december has come to pass! =)

yessss, the christmas party is now over and now, I've been busy preparing for the upcoming dance competition/performance at my Uni's Gala Night this thursday!

Time is flying like *swwwoooooooshhh~!* the wind. ANYWAYS! in case u are wondering how the christmas party went, well, apparently it was a big success! Thats what others have been telling me. =) But i'll blog about it in detail when i get them pichas. =)

Yesterday, I went for a family dinner at Desa Parkcity's Secret Recipe.

Dinner with the uncles, aunties, cousins and grandma.

Compared to our previous dinners, this was how it looked like most of the time.

Yupp.. how most family dinners look like nowadays.

What happened to spending time with people?

what happened to dinner like these?

I miss it.

People nowadays spend so much time on things and less on people.

Shouldn't it be the other way round?

Call me old fashioned.
But up till now, i still believe that it is common courtesy not to use any of your gadgets when you're at the dinner table. even if you were waiting for your food to come and you have nothing else to do.

Anyways, Grandma became hypoglycemic the minute we reached the restaurant. The minute stepped out of the car, she suddenly felt all dizzy and sick. She took insulin before we left the house but i guess she waited too long before she took food in. She was feeling very sick, moody, hungry but no appetite. At that point of time, she needed loads of attention. She did get alot of attention, but only for a while. It was quite difficult. We tried to order coffee for her, but she still felt dizzy. We asked her if pasta would be okay for her and she said okay but after taking the first bite, she rejected the pasta immediately. She said it taste weird. We then asked her what she wanted to eat, she wanted mash potatoes, So aunt went out to buy mash potatoes because secret recipe didn't serve mash potatoes. Aunt came back with the mash potatoes, likewise, after the first bite, she pushed it aside and shook her head from side to side. Cousin bought her sweets. Those sweets to soothe her throat and idk, they thought letting her eat sweets would make her feel better and maybe stabilize her sugar level. Long story short, it was quite difficult to find out what she wanted and all and we all really tried our best to find ways to make her feel better but none of it seemed to work.

After a while, most of them felt fed up or maybe annoyed.
I didn't say much. But i just tried to understand her. Kept checking on her, asking if she wanted anything else. To be honest, i couldn't really enjoy myself or take my eyes off her. I kept checking on her from time to time. Seeing her so sick made me really worried. That kind of feeling you get when you want to help someone but you just dont know how to. I took an opportunity to get away from the table and went for a stroll around the park. Ahhhh... I just love walking around that park. I just feel so at peace when i'm there. Even though i was alone, it felt really good. Having some time alone, some time to myself after all the hectic and busy days/weeks/months i've been having. That park holds alot of memories.. both happy and sad ones. But i still love the place alot la. My getaway place. =)

Anyways, i quickly went back into the restaurant before ppl started looking for me. Haha.. After a while, when nothing seemed to work, i took her out for a walk, to get some fresh air. And to my surprise! despite how painful her leg is when she walks, she felt better! =))) was so happy when she started talking more..and asking me if there was any suitable food for her that she could eat. Which meant her appetite was back! =) I then was reminded of something that i've realized before.

As Kids, we're usually all sulky, we constantly need attention, we constantly need the care of people, we constantly need to know that we are loved. We're picky. we get upset easily. we throw random tantrums.

Now..

Dont you think both kids and old people share quite similar characteristics?

They're grumpy. They're so sensitive. They're picky, they just want things to be how it has always been, they dont like change. they throw random tantrums, they need to know that they are still loved, they need to feel loved and cared for all the time, and they need alot of your time and attention.

Why then isit okay for Kids to do it and not for older people? If Kids get all the attention they want, Shouldn't we give more attention to our grandparents/parents when they're old and grey?

Its like a cycle. u start out like this, and you somehow, end life like this. You start with diapers, you end up with diapers as well in the end. Just that, you've bigger diapers. =P I dont know lah.. It's just sometimes quite sad to see how people tend to see older people as a burden when they start to become dependent. When they can no longer live life independently. When they constantly need your time and attention. This is the time, when they need us the most. But sadly, most people leave them when they need us most. Dont get me wrong, i'm not saying that it is easy to take care of them, take care of their feelings. its like taking care of a really really big baby and it can become really frustrating at times. Especially for people who are very busy and filled with responsibilities.

Dont only look at our grandparents la. Look at our parents. Even if they're only at their 50s, trust me, they start getting all sensitive and all even at this age. Sometimes you feel like, Aiyoh, You so old edy still wanna act like a small kid. GAAAH.

But i guess this is just how life is. Really. Dont you think so?

Things i've been pondering on.

AND yes. I have been VERY VERY VERY MUCH SLEEP DEPRIVED! it's scary. Because even my lecturers are noticing how exhausted i look/am. Haha.. my criminal law lecturer kept asking me " You okay? " ever since last week! And i am so tired that it takes me hours of effort before i can finally bring myself to bathe! LOL. the minute i reach home, i died on the sofa. slept for an hour, woke up, *go bathe go bathe!* walk upstairs, died on the sofa upstairs. After a few hours, wake up *omgosh go bathe laaa~!!!* go into my room to take clothes, die again on my bed. hahaaa... MY GOODNESSSSSSSS! i'm so tired that i keep falling asleep wherever i go. And i am not proud to say that for the pass 2 days, i've been so tired to the point where i was on the verge of dozing off while driving. VERY DANGEROUS I KNOW! and that is why, i forced myself to take a super long nap just now. Slept from 5.30pm till 9pm. So happy, finally got to reach home while it is still bright today. And i'm gonna try to sleep before 1am later. which means, in another 42 minutes! =P Yeah, very serious edy. Tired to that extend. Very bad very bad. So anyways, please continue to keep me in prayer. I've still my upcoming dance competition, my cg's christmas party, my church's new year's eve dance, and the long awaited HUGE camp! =D i cant wait for the 17th to come. I'll be more free after the 16th. cant wait! i hope i get to have more time to myself after this week.

And nyahahahaaa, i cant wait to see me on tv this saturday. =PPPP

xoxo.!

Dont Forget, Dont Forget.

2011-12-04T00:54:00.001+08:00

I've realized a couple of things in the past week.

#1: In any arguments or debates,

The minute someone starts to feel attacked, or becomes defensive, nothing good comes out of the debate or arguments. Why so? I dont know about your experience, but usually in mine? People dont exactly answer the questions thrown at them the minute they are on attack mode. All they do is attack attack and shoot. People dont make any sense when they're on attack mode. Dont you think so? During one of my class tutorials, as usual, we'd have presentations,followed by questions to the group presenting. I realized how they didn't answer my question even after i've repeated em over and over again. First, second third time i repeat, still, no answer. by the fifth time i repeated myself, i thought they couldn't understand my question, so i tried to ask them in all sorts of ways to help them understand my question. But after a while, i realize, You know what? theres no point asking them again. When I ask, they shoot back with a totally different issue. They start defending their point. But no answers given to my question. And the debates never end. it just keeps going on and on and round and round in circles with nothing being achieved by the end of the discussion.

People in general tend to do the exact same thing during arguments. Its no wonder why arguments always seem so pointless. Nothing makes sense. Well, most of the time nothing makes sense. You just end up fanning a bigger flame, you end up with hearts and feelings hurt, you end up with words you wished you never said. words, you apparently did not mean. But then again, if you did not mean it, why then did you say it? this puzzles me even up till now. Everytime after a fight, people come to you and apologize and say sorry for what they said and that they didn't mean it. Really? how's tht possible? I'm not dumb. I know that it's apparently,possible. But i seriously dont see the logic in it larh. really. when you're angry, you say things to get back at that person or to hurt that person. You WANT to do it. and you had all intentions to say whatever you said. So how can you not mean it? Maybe you can feel regretful of saying what you said la, But the "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. " ? Hmm. I'll leave you to ponder.

#2: Responsibilities and challenges.

You want to do this, that AND that. Or responsibilities that you didn't ask for come flying towards you. Most of us, when we commit and agree to do something, we always start out with this burning flame. this fire. But when challenges come, when the pressure sets in, when things get so out of hand, when the stress is overwhelming, we all burn out. We forget the very first reason why we even got ourselves involve in any of this in the first place! Many people wish they had such opportunities and responsibilities in their lives. Some, they wish they never had any of this. I have to be honest with you. I'm facing a load of stress,chaos and pressure. As the 9th draws nearer, so many things have been going out of hand. So many issues that suddenly came out of no where! The team, shaken up. I somehow knew such things would happen as the 9th drew nearer. But I wasn't prepared for any of this. I was totally caught off guard. And i'm left with so many unanswered questions. Being a middle person is no fun. No fun at all. But I always seem to get this role. hehs.

You know what? I realize how we tend to start, looking at all of this as opportunities, but end, looking at all of this as burdens. it shouldn't be like this. it shouldn't. We let our emotions get the better of us. We let all these external pressure and stress get to us, till we forget why/how we even started out.

I think this happens even in relationships between couples. You start out, all mushy and sweet. And when all the never ending fights starts happening? You ask yourself, Why am I even in this relationship in the first place?

Dont we All? hehs.

Sometimes, my plate gets so full, till i no longer see the joy and purpose in doing all of this.I forget. I get so tensed and stressed till I forget why i'm doing what i'm doing. But it shouldn't be like this, Kah May. When the going gets tough, cling on to God's strength and wisdom even more. Praise Him even more for trusting you so much that he trust you enough to get by. To get through all these challenges. To carry out all this responsibilities. Because He will never give you something you cannot handle. You should praise Him even more that he finds such favour in you to entrust you with all of these responsibilities. You should thank Him for giving you all these opportunities to bless others. You should thank Him for giving you all these talents that you are now using in whatever ways. You should thank Him for letting you experience things not many people in their normal lives get to experience. Yes, it may be really hard, it may be very overwhelming, it may even bring you to edge, lead you to breaking point, but all of these, you should embrace with thanksgiving in your heart.

Dont forget, dont forget that He is constantly watching over you.
I'm currently in a situation where things looks almost impossible to be settled or fixed. I cannot. But He can. He can.. I dont know how I am going to settle all of these ill feelings and conflicts in these few days, i really dont. But I really hope that God will help me find a way.

Use me Lord, guide me and lead me.
I feel so lost. I feel so small. I feel like i'm not good enough to clean up all these mess. I know I cant, on my own. I really need God to be with me.

"The world may fade, You will remain. In the midst of the trial, With Hope and light, You reign over all. Though my heart may fail,You will always be, i'll sing, Our God never fails, Our God never fails. Praise in the morning, praise in the evening, praise when i'm laughing, praise when i'm grieving, There will be dancing, there will be singing, upon injustice we will tell of our God. The Hope of all heart is you, Your love never fails. Your Love never fails. In darkness, in trial, my soul shall sing of His mercy and Kindness."

xoxo.!

December Already?!

2011-12-02T00:57:00.001+08:00

Hey All! I cant believe december is already here! Usually, this would be the busiest month of the year for me because of performances in the shopping malls, old folks home etc. But this year, My december is definitely going to be a different one. Since i couldn't commit to AFC this year, i thought i'd have a pretty free schedule in december. Turns out? I'm busy. every single day of december except for maybe 3-4 days! :O!

Gosh. How scary. =/ I didn't realize i was THIS busy until i penned down all my plans for the month. If you're wondering what in the world can a girl of my age be so busy with? Well, I've been really busy planning and organizing an upcoming christmas party that will be held in my Uni. Few months back, I started joining the CF in my Uni. I saw a need for change, and I was definitely determined to make a change in my uni's cf, and hopefully, in my whole uni. And so, i've been really committed to my CF and all of a sudden! I'm the deputy chairperson for the Christmas Project ! I am really encouraged to see the changes that are happening in my cf. To see how our CF is quickly growing! So yes, on the 9th of December, We'll be having a christmas party in my Uni. We'll be inviting 70 orphans to join us. We've also started a christmas tree project where we set up a Christmas Tree in the college and whoever who wishes to bless one of the kids with a gift, could buy a gift, wrap it, and place it under the tree. We've also got a wish list from each and every single one of the kids. Their names, their age, and what they want for christmas. And believe me, we seriously intend to fulfill every single wish we've received. =) Even if it means buying a bicycle for a 14 and 9 year old girl.

So you see, not only the plannings of the event and yada yada was keeping me busy, but interacting with the students in my uni, talking to the college staff to see what they could help us with, sponsors, training a group of people for a sign language performance for the event, caroling practice, getting the equipment, musical instruments, and alot of other stuffs. It is definitely not easy getting so much done in such a short time. But despite all the stress, pressure, energy used up to get all of these done, I really look forward to the 9th. To share and spend Christmas with 70 orphans, to be a blessing, to share with so many other people, the true meaning of christmas. It's not about santa, definitely not about snowmans or reindeers, but the celebration of the Birth of Jesus Christ. =)

SO YES. i've been really really busy organizing this upcoming party! Baru did all the shopping for the party packs just now. It was fun but it was definitely tiring! Pengsan weih. @_@ Also, The week after the 9th, would be my Uni's Gala Night on the 15th of Dec. Guess what? I'll be competing/performing. I didn't want to at first, but i knew how much my friend wanted to participate and so, i agreed. So we've like dance practice every evening after class! up to 7pm plus.. or prolly later starting next week onwards. So yes, dance pracs alone takes up almost half of my time! What about my Law Classes?! =S my studies.. they're keeping me SUPER DUPER BUSY as well!

This saturday, i'll also be choreographing a dance for my church's New year's eve service! Very soon, when the choreography is done, dance pracs for church will start! I really wonder how and when i'm gonna slot that in because i am almost packed everyday! And Eunice Mei will be coming up to KL just to spend time with me and to see me on Monday. AT THE SAME TIME.. sis will be coming up as well with Josh and Maegan. Sis have some teacher's training thing in KL. WHO TAKES CARE OF THE BABIES THEN?! :O .................................... *drops to the ground* and right after prom, on the 16th, My CG will be having a house christmas party. And on the 26th - 29th i'll be going to HUGE camp.

AM I BUSY OR AM I BUSY?!

So many things happening at the same time. So many issues on my mind, still unresolved. So many responsibilities, so little time and i'm only one person and my health hasn't been helping much! Haven't been in the best of health recently. Anyways, i really really really hope that everything will go well. I can tell you this, I will definitely not be able to survive the next 2 weeks if i relied solely on my strength alone. Definitely cannot make it. I really need to learn, especially at this point of time, to lean not on my own understanding but to trust in the Lord my God with all my heart and with all my soul. To rely on His strength and not mine.

To be honest, my head, right now, it feels like it could explode at any second now. Theres just too much going on up in there!

Lord, I really need to learn how to rely on Your strength and not solely on mine. Please teach me, how to lean not on my own understanding but on Yours. Please guide me, lead me, give me wisdom, give me patience, give me peace so that the stress and pressure will not get the better of me and most of all, please give me your strength to get through the upcoming hectic,stressful and busy 2 weeks. Please let me not be let by my emotions, but by Your spirit. I pray that my emotions will not get the better of me. Thank You so much Lord, for everything. For all the opportunities you have given me, for all the people You have brought into my life, for all the blessings that I have received so that I can bless others as well and for bringing me through tough times even when I thought I wouldn't make it through. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

I know, I know He is always watching over me. Sometimes, I may not see it, but when i do? The same line keeps playing in my head like a broken record.

" What greater love is there, than this? "

I can do all things, through Christ, who strengthens me.

xoxo.!

The Honest Truth.

2011-11-22T23:47:00.001+08:00

Hey all.

The picture on the left describes exactly what i'm feeling right now..Probably even better than any words put together, could.

I'm pretty sure that most of you already know that i haven't been having the best 2 months of my life. It has been a struggle. It really has. And today, I was right at the edge, ready to fall.. ready to let go.. ready to surrender.

I am usually the strong one. The tough cookie! someone who everyone thinks, feels or believes that.. "Nahhh..Who u kidding?! You're Celine Yap! i'm sure you'll be just fine." Truth is, No matter how strong one can be, We can only take so much. In the end of the day, we're still humans. In the end of the day, we'll break at some point.
I've been under immense stress in all aspects of Life. You name it. Family, Friends, Studies, etc. And as much as I believe that God is the only one you can turn to without having to fear of being disappointed or let down, truth is, Humans need other humans. That is why God gave Adam, Eve. We're made to complement each other.

Honestly, sometimes when i'm in the library, reading up cases, the same question pops up from time to time. The very same question that bothered me ever since A-levels. " Why are you doing this? Why are you studying Law? Is this really what You want? " My first choice was definitely not Law. In fact, my choice was the complete opposite of Law! The Entertainment Field. Something I love, something i grew up around, something i've experienced. But for obvious reasons, I didn't quite have the choice to have such a choice. Hence, Law. My second option. I didn't like the idea of getting myself into a field where most of the people have the "Dont care" attitude unless it concerns their money or unless it hurts their pocket. Lets face it, The world today is such where the mention of words like Justice! carries less weight and meaning.

Why are you studying Law?
= Because i want to help others. I want justice. i want to fight for it.

Answer this, and the world laughs at you with their skeptical looks shouting " OH PUHLEAAASEE~ "

My question to the people who would respond in that manner is..
WHY NOT?

Seeing the Life of most people in the Law field really makes me sad and worried. They work round the clock and do what they do solely to increase the number of digits on their pay cheque. And what happens next, when your old and grey? In the end, it has always been JUST about money. To most people, that would be the ultimate goal and satisfaction. Though, i really wonder if it really IS satisfying at all in the end. I guess it is very subjective. But that is definitely a road i dont want to take. Definitely not a Life I would like to lead. And that is why, ever since i started my Law Degree, the only motivating factor? = It is a very good and useful degree.

Thats all. that all that was keeping me going. Really.
Untill I met Richard Wee. The chairperson of the National Young Lawyers Committee.
He gave a talk that gave me hope. It was very comforting to know that there are still a group of lawyers who are working, not solely because of money, but they try their best to help out people in need whenever they can. They're my inspiration really. It was very comforting to know that as skeptical as the world is about lawyers being people who want to fight for justice and to help people even if they dont have enough money,the fact that they DO exist? It really stirred up this Hope, this Energy, this Want, this Spur, to be just like them when i one day become a lawyer. To make a change. To BE the change.

I realize how many of us in this generation often feel like we are incapable of making any change. How we have the " Nahh I'm sure there is someone out there who would get the job done." My question to you is, What if everyone said the same thing?! Nothing will ever change then. No?

If you want to see a change, Make the change! BE the change!
Sometimes you feel like, Who am I? that I can possibly make such a change? I'm not high ranked, I'm only a student, I have not much influence, I dont have a special Title. Guess what?
I honestly believe that everyone is capable of doing just anything as long as they set their heart to do so.

You want something? Go for it. You have an Idea, a dream, a plan, you wish to do something? GO FOR IT. Dont let it pass you by. Dont let it just linger in your thoughts. OF COURSE, it is easier said than done. So many times i tell myself , "Wish i was there. wish i was competing like the other crews out there. Wish i was the actress i wanted to be when I was little. Wish i was at least acting somewhere in some Malaysia Actors Association yada yada " So many dreams I had, So many I let go, So many i let pass me by. We all have our own set of limitations. but i guess, If we really wanted something, We'd go out of the way just to get it. That's what I believe. Though, Sometimes, we must of course be practical.

I WILL, SEE AN AURORA WITH MY VERY OWN PAIR OF EYES IN THIS ONLY LIFE I HAVE ON EARTH. I WILL.

Just you wait for my pictures. =P
And Kimberley Ong, You will be with me in those pictures. =)

Also, during the past week, I dont know why, but it felt as if everyone who I opened up to seemed to be running away and disappearing from my Life at the time i need them most. Not all of them. Though, most of them. " How much harder/tougher can things get? " I guess theres nothing more saddening at such tough times than knowing/seeing the people who you opened up to leave you when you need them most. I felt so alone. So alone in all this mess. How low can one get?

hehs.
Now, How am I suppose to open up to more people after this?
Its just too difficult.

Anyways, dont worry too much about me.
I'm a tough cookie remember?

xoxo.!

2011-11-17T18:58:00.000+08:00

Been going through David cook's songs and i really like these 3. =)

3.19 - 3.30 ♥ my fav part of the whole video..
This song is so nice. So understanding. And so true how no one can fix yourself, but you. Its a journey you'd have to go through yourself. But knowing someone is there, following u closely behind as u partake this journey? Its just so comforting.

And these 3 songs have been on replay. =)
You should check out his live videos. He's still so good Live.
What I call true talent.

xoxo.!

2011-11-15T01:45:00.001+08:00

1. if u dont trust me, why bother asking me?
2. Why do you have to let it linger?
3. i take back wht i said about christina perri. A thousand years is awesome. :)
4. Without You by david guetta and usher is so nice. Totally felt the song the 1st time i heard it.
5. Journey's faithfully is soooo touching. The boyce avenue cover has been on replay!
6. I have been under SO MUCH STRESS. D:
7. sometimes i feel like i cannot afford to fall because there will be no one there to catch me. i know i have God. but lets face it, humans need other humans no matter how tough we are.
8. i really needed a friend on friday. Sighs. 11.11.11
9. Was so busy hosting friends from overseas..
10. With You~ Shawty with You~~ Under the Miseltoe.. =) Stupid line stuck in my head the whole week! hahaa.. Justin Bieber's Miseltoe. =)
11. why... why.. why... but i know why. but why? =(
12. i miss kim alot.
13. i decided to go for prom. Still dont know why i'm going though.. =/
14. ='(
15. My car has been breaking down like no ones business. in the middle of the highway also got. *headsdown*
16. I am only one person and I can only do so much. for the past 2 weeks, i felt like i've been torn into a hundred pieces.
17. Took a week off from the internet last week..
18. Not performing in malls this December. Gonna be a very different dec! thought i'd be free this dec, but i thought wrong! LOL. SOOO BUSY with SOO many other things! ahhh..~
19. I could use a very long silent hug.
20. i've been having trouble sleeping. =( i can lay on my bed for few hours before i can finally fall asleep. and after a few hours, i wake up. =(
21. yats. tnod og.
xoxo.!

Dear Ladies..

2011-11-08T22:34:00.001+08:00

It is sad to see how the world has changed to one where man and woman are equal at almost everything! So much so, women are now making the initiative to do things that should be left to the Men to do! As much as we'd like to have gender equality, i really think that some areas should be left untouched, just the way it is. A friend recently shared an article with me, which totally motivated me to blog. hahaa..

Love. Relationships. Soul Mates. Mr. Right.

Tonnes of questions that sometimes make u want to pull ur hair out right?! Guys say we girls are confusing. sometimes i really feel that guys are just as confusing! No jokes. =)

I'll share the article with you at the end of this entry. but i'll quote parts of the article which i think really hit me. =)

"First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before it's made on an emotional one. "What about love? Shouldn't that be the third?" you ask. No, and I'll tell you why. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9).

The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently--it just loves to love! Therefore, you have to point it in the right directions: "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (Proverbs 4:23). "

Too often, we act according to what we feel. how we feel. Too often, we are led by our emotions. We let our emotions get the better of us. But if u sit down, and think it through, u'd realize that alot of things that happen in our lives are totally not about how we feel. the world certainly doesn't revolve around us. What more about how we feel? but i guess its human nature to act based on what we feel. But we shouldn't really. Because above all things, the heart is deceitful.

* Friendship, Courtship, Marriage.

How many of you actually know these stages? haha. this world we live in now? we just LOVE jumping into things and skipping stages. really. How many people do you know that actually have a firm and stable friendship before getting into a relationship? What about you? Did you have a firm and stable friendship before getting into a relationship with your current partner? How well did you know him or her when you asked him or her to be yours? I definitely agree that you will never ever stop learning about your partner. You never will. You just have to keep on learning and studying your partnet as time goes by because they change as time goes by. But still, how many of you actually knew your guy, before u said Yes?

Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together.

Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively--it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together after marriage.

How many couples do you know that got into a relationship, believing that one day, this will be the guy i'll marry? or do you get into a relationship just because you feel lonely? because you think, "Man, i could really use a boyfriend right now. " ? Hahaha. its really sad to see how so many people nowadays fail to appreciate the seriousness of getting and committing to a relationship. So many people take it so lightly! I see people getting together over night! or because they feel all lovey dovey when they're together and right away, they think, YES! WE'RE READY! WE SHOULD BE TOGETHER! =DDDDD! seriously, if that is the reason why u got into a relationship, let me ask u then. What if that lovey dovey stage is long gone and passed? do u think the both of you will still work out?

and another thing that REALLY bugs me la. seriously. Dear girls and ladies! PLEAAASEEEE stop trying to play the role of a Man! Sometimes, You just gotta let a Man do what He's gotta Do! Stop being so impulsive! Stop trying to take control and try to plan everything so that, he will have the opportunity to confess his feelings. Or trying to give him STRONG HINTS like super obvious HINTS to tell him, Hey, im ready. ask me now ask me nowwwwwww~~~~~~~~~~!

Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for you will pursue you, and God's hand in the relationship will be clear.

No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends. Scripture says: "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" ( Prov.18:22).

Note--who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time, God has transported men and women across the world in order to put them together. At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his mate. Adam had no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to help a guy out because he's shy! Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want.

The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested.

Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found. Again,--WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the relationship. You may have an inkling that he is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you--this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They should love us first. And they should lead the relationship.

WAIT. Girls.. Wait! Honestly? If a guy truly wants you, he'd go all out for you. Even if he has to build up the most courage he has ever had to, just to go after you! Seriously, seriously. If he really wants you, He'd go after you. He'd pursue You. He'd realize that man, i really cannot afford to lose Her. i really cannot afford to let her pass me by! If he wants you, he will come get you! He wouldn't leave you hanging, filled with uncertainties, confusion and questions! And girls, i know that this is the part where you'd go all crazy.. trying to figure out if He really does want you. And then you get so fed up with guessing, You start taking things into your own hands with the feeling that, "Gosh, u guys just dont know how to do anything anymore. If i dont make this move, nothing will ever happen. " and then u try to drop big hints here, there and everywhere! and u try to prompt him to give u an answer. to make his move. to affirm you that he feels the same way as u do. We try so hard to find someone to find us! seriously. hahaa.. and u know what?! we girls always reserve that special spot in our hearts even before we are sure of what the guy truly feels for us! We reserve, even before we are sure. And then when the guy turns around and say, Sorry, i think we should just be friends. You feel the most piercing words, pierce right through your heart. Please girls, Untill He voices out his intentions, dont reserve a spot. dont lock down your heart and block out the rest. Sometimes u may feel as if, He's the one! im sure he's the one! Honestly girls? both you and I will never know what the future holds. Seriously. No matter how perfect you think you both would make as a couple? Things can happen out of a sudden and turn your world 360 degrees. None of us, No one, would ever know what the future has in store for us, except God.

And finally,

If the man you meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself, something is wrong. This is where I ask you to consider the relationship in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually, emotionally, or physically? Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in the process? Or does he see you as the gift that you are? The man in your life should consider you as a rare find, a priceless jewel--because of you he is getting ready to get blessed big-time!

Any relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable, or that you have to work for love, is too expensive! God has called the man to cover, protect, and provide not only materially for a woman, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You should be richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of your dreams. The man in your life should make rich deposits into your heart and spirit, not withdrawals.

Dear ladies.. as cliche as it may sound, A guy has to love you for who You are. Not for who you can become. Or not for who he wants you to become. A guy who truly loves you, will see your weaknesses and flaws and still think that you're amazing. A guy who truly loves you, will accept you for who you are. He'd not only take the good side of you, but also the bad side of you. What kind of friend or partner would he be if he only appreciated and accept Your Good side but trash you when Your Bad side surfaces? do you think such a friend or guy would be someone you could spend the rest of your life with?

A guy who really likes you, loves you, will take both Good and Bad. And even after taking in the Bad, The Good would still make the bigger picture. If he ever made u feel unworthy, unacceptable.. if he ever failed to acknowledge you.. rather keep you as a secret.. is ashamed of sharing you to His world.. Then please girls. Let it go. And leave. Such a guy is not worth your time. your love. your feelings. that special spot. your heart. He is definitely not worth hurting over. definitely not worth it.

then again, whether someone is worthy or not is a very subjective question.

then again, sometimes you cant help but still take in all the hurt and pain and yet still feel, its okay. not everyone is perfect.

then again, sometimes the softer side of you gets the better of you. So much so, you dont mind hurting for someone who apparently, isn't worth hurting over.

but i guess, all of these, they're a process of Life.. things some people just have or had to go through. different people react differently to similar situations.

But despite all our differences, I really do believe that We girls should really learn to take a step back, and stop trying to control everything and every area of our lives. i know we can be awesome superwomans and be the best multi-tasker on earth, but as i said earlier, sometimes, some things are just meant to stay the way they are. In the past, present, and future.

Sometimes, You just gotta let a man do, what a man's gotta do.

So take a step back, breathe, and stop trying to play the role a guy should be playing.

the full article is here if you'd like to read it up.

http://www.christian-single-woman.com/am-i-the-right-man.html

i hope you were blessed like how i was by this article.

And to end this entry, this is my prayer and hopefully, the prayer of the rest of you girls. =)

Dear Heavenly Father,

I confess that I have not always been as careful as I should've been with my heart. From time to time, my desire for love has caused me to leave my heart in the wrong hands. I now commit my heart into Your hands for safekeeping. Please help me to stop being so impulsive with what you deem so precious. As I learn to celebrate Your love for me, let me learn from Your example what a bridegroom should really be like. Help me to never settle for less than what you desire for me. As I embrace You as the Lover of my soul, keep my affections in the haven of Your own heart. As I rest in Your love, make me more discriminating of those who approach me. I ask that You take over this area of my life. Keep me from those You know would hurt my heart. I invite You to set a hedge around me and keep me from all who would draw me into unfruitful relationships until the day you present me to the mate that You have selected for me. Grant me the discernment to recognize him as he recognizes me. Cleanse me from the temptation to typecast the men I meet according to what I see. Help me to trust in Your knowledge and lean not on my own understanding. I know that You know what is best for me; therefore I yield to Your choice. In Jesus Name. Amen.

xoxo.!

2011-11-02T21:26:00.000+08:00

God is pulling Me through rainstorms heavy enough to prepare Me for a long lasting rainbow.

xoxo.

She's Back! :)

2011-11-01T00:34:00.002+08:00

Hello all !

i know in my previous entry i said tht i wanted to stop blogging for a while.. and even now, i still dont think i'm ready to be back blogging. But something has happened to me.. something so amazing. And I'd be selfish to keep this testimony to myself. I cannot keep this to myself.. I want the whole world to know of what i've experienced.. and i dont know what you'd think.. but to me.. this is something really amazing.. =) and this is something i'd like to share.

The past week hasn't been the best week i've had. To be honest, the past week have been one that was really difficult, painful and .. it was just a really tough week for me. it really was. But let me just share with you, One event that happened.

On thursday, when i was working in SEGI college.. When i went to the toilet.. I forgot my phone was in my pocket.. and bent down and the phone fell right into the toilet. it was a squatting toilet. Yeah ok.. go ahead.. laugh. Done laughing? Okay. so let me continue.. =P ( terrible person! ) it definitely wasn't funny at all when it happened.. it really wasn't.. in fact.. it was so shocking.. that when i saw my phone falling in.. i asked myself.. " WHATS THAT?! " and after one second..when i heard the thing that dropped reach the bottom of the pipe.. i realized.. *GASP!* MY PHONE!!!!!!!!!! :O !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it was a really shocking moment for me.. i couldn't believe what just happened! it all happened so quickly! and so.. i straight away asked one of the ladies from the office for help! And instead of laughing at me, she went.. "SHIT ok! " and she ran to the office and told another girl and asked her to call the maintenance people..but sadly, they were all out for lunch.. So yes.. the word spread.. so everyone in the office knew i dropped my phone in the toilet.. some laughed.. some just shook their heads. And the thing that kinda got me annoyed.. was the fact that everyone ... EVERYONE.. kept asking me what model my handphone was! Okay, i know thats like a normal reaction la k.. but still, me, being the sentimental person i am.. i couldn't care less abt the phone! ( i dunno la..it really showed me how materialistic the world can get ) when my phone dropped into the toilet, part of my heart dropped together with my phone as well.. it really did. i suddenly felt part of my heart.. stripped away.. just like that. reason being? I keep smses. i do that. and.. there are some smses that are in my phone.. smses that i can nvr get from people whom i used to be close to.. or people who are no longer in my life.. or people who are still in my life.. msges that i really treasure.. and the funny part is? i even keep sent msges! LOL. i didn't understand that part of me.. untill wednesday.. when i realized and finally understood why i keep sent msges. i was so happy when i finally understood why! and i was about to tell some of my close friends.. But right before i could tell them why, this had to happen. I keep sent msges because.. honestly.. i really go through alot.. and sometimes.. when i become sooooo down.. when there are times where im at my lowest point.. I tend to forget who i really am. Who i was.. before i got so emo.. and when i read back my sent msges.. these msges remind me of who Celine Yap was before all this emoness.. =) and so yeah.. u may find this strange.. but because most of the time i play the comforter role.. sometimes, i do feel as if i've no one to turn to. (but i know y'all are there for me! i know..) its just sometimes i feel that way. so yes, when i've finally understood why..and i actually felt really happy that i kept these sent msges.. it all got stripped away in a matter of seconds! my heart.. ahhh..pain.. =(

kk back to the story. SO ANYWAYS.. when the maintenance guy came, he used a torchlight and i could see my phone! so he locked the toilet door.. and put the out of service sign so no one could use tht toilet. And he actually went to the basement where the pipe was..and there was this hole.. where if my phone was small enough, it could come out from there. but suddenly, his boss came.. and he was like.. No la cannot cannot. sure cannot come out the hole is too small. then after a while..He said.. sorry la girl. it cannot be done. *My heart sank even further* "even if we got ur phone out, it'll be gone case edy. coz it's been in the water for hours already.." and i said.. "but its not the phone tht i care about.. its the things in the phone..like my contacts etc.." and after tht..he finally decided to help and said tht he'll get his workers to buy the clipper thing to try clip my phone out from the toilet and he asked me to come back the next day, friday. So yeah.. feeling so hopeless.. i prayed.

I prayed that i would get back my phone.. and i prayed that when i get back my phone.. all my smses..all my contacts..everything..it will be there. it will still be there.

and this time, when i prayed.. I chose to practice what i've been sharing with others. and that is to.. BELIEVE.. to believe in God. to believe that God is ABLE! ask yourself. How many times have you prayed for something but right after you pray, U doubt. U doubt tht whatever u prayed for wont come true? that it is impossible? you answer that yourself.

Like i said before in my previous entries.. If YOU yourself dont believe what you are asking God for.. What then are you expecting?!

This time, i chose to stand firm.. and believe..! no matter how impossible the situation may seem. i chose.. to Believe. and that is exactly what i did. when i went home.. and told a few people.. these were their responses..

" HAH?! tomorrow only take out?! Sure gone edy lor ur phone! Soaked in water for a whole day! "

Doubts came flying and rushing towards me. But i stood firm. and I believed.

The next day, Friday..
Went to SEGI.. they told me that they can only help me do it on Saturday. :O?!!!!!!!!!!
this time, everyone who heard, told me..
"Im sorry but u just have to accept the fact that your phone is gone. U really do.. U'll only get disappointed."

I stood firm. i REFUSED to doubt. i really refused to.

Saturday, the maintenance guy called me. His name is Syaiful. it wasn't his working day, but he chose to go back to SEGI and try to help get my phone out.. He tried with the clipper. but failed..it just couldn't come out. kept falling back down. so he went back to the basement.. tried to get it out from the pipe.. and in the end.. guess what he did? he cut the pipe to get my phone out. Now, ask yourself. Why would someone go through all these troubles just to help this girl who doesn't even study at SEGI college get back her phone?! and PLUS. its not even some chunted iphone blackberry ish kinda phone. Why? But he did anyways. and i got back my phone.

The minute i got back my phone, i opened it up.. and boy did it stink.! ya ya kk ewww la ewww la. Pfft.. then i dried it up with tissues.. and tried to use my kleenex wet wipes to kill bacteria and take away the smell. hahaa..quite fail la.. it still smelled. LOL. ANYWAYS.. went home, used the hair dryer to dry it.. left it there the whole day.. sunday, did the same thing. And i chose not to tell anyone about me getting back my phone. Coz i know when they find out.. they'd start doubting..and they'd start telling me stuffs to make me doubt. so i just kept quiet..and stood firm.

TODAY.
came home..told dad abt it..there was one of those gold thingy for the battery..it was sort of black..ish.. looked burnt..so did the golden thing on the battery.. but anyways.. Dad asked.. "Was it on when it fell in? " "Yes." "HUH..then gone edy. sure sot edy..If it can work, i'd be amazed! "

so i went and try..but before tht..he helped me clean the black part..with i dunno what.. and then..he tried to on it.. but fail. cannot on. i took another battery from my other phone and tried...First time he press..cannot on. I was like.. *Nonono it will work it will work..dont u dare doubt!* he tried..for the 3rd time.. AND IT ON! IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!! =DDDDDDDDDDD! i immediately took the phone..waited impatiently..for everything to load.. STRAIGHT AWAY WENT TO MY INBOX! ......................................... EVERYTHING WAS STILL THERE! IT WAS ALL THERE! =DDDDDDDDDDDDD =') u have NO IDEA how happy my heart was.. u have no ideaaaa! and guess what happened next? a sms came in.. and the sms ringtone (only exception) that i assigned was still assigned! it didnt change to some nokia tune! NO WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! :D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!????! i was SO HAPPY! i couldn't stop saying.. God is able God is Able God is Able this is Unbelievable! God is Able with God ALL things are POSSIBLE! i ran to my lil bro.. HUGGED HIM SOOO TIGHT! untill he was suffocating.. ran down to my grandma who kept doubting.. Told Her everything! And told her how i prayed.. what i prayed..and how i believed! And i told her how Great My God truly Is. =) (she's not a christian) And she agreed with every single word i say.. and she said.. i agree.. it seemed impossible.. it makes no sense for ur phone to be immersed in water for 3 days and yet, still work perfectly fine! it really makes no sense..

i drove right away to the phone shop to buy a battery. i was SO HAPPY.. i even told the handphone shop dude the whole story! =P even the phone dude said it was impossible that any electronic item could survive 3 days, immersed in water and yet can still start and function perfectly normal!

Anyways, friends, what i really want to share with you today.. is this.
When u pray to God.. when You ask God for things.. when You ask God for help.. Never Doubt Him. Never doubt what he can do. HE IS GOD. He is SOO big.. bigger than our imagination! We've no idea.. what He can do. We often tend to underestimate his capabilities.. and we often forget that He is God ! If whatever we pray for is according to His will, it will happen. I dont know when.. i dont know how fast. But if it is according to His will? Dont give up on Him. Wait patiently. and dont you doubt even for a second.

OUR GOD IS ABLE.
MY GOD IS ABLE.
and With Him? ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!

Even if my phone couldn't start, I would still be contented and continue to Believe in God.
Friends, God has plans for us. Plans to prosper us, and not to harm us.
Sometimes, things happen. And sometimes, we've no idea why it happened. But it did.
We'd never know the plans that He has in store for us.
If my phone could start, PRAISE GOD! if my phone couldn't start, PRAISE GOD STILL!

Maybe if my phone couldn't start, it happened for a reason. whatever the reason is, i may or may not find out. but one thing is for sure.. I know.. that My God may let me stumble.. but i definitely know for a fact that he would never let me fall. I know that My God doesn't plan for bad things to happen to me. but i definitely know that he can take those bad things and turn in into something so great and so wonderful.. beyond my wildest imaginations.

Thats how Great My God is. =)

Our God never fails.
His Love never fails.. unlike love among Humans.

I'd like to end this entry with this very special song..

I have been listening to it non-stop. From the things i've went through in the past week.. This song really touched my heart and it really comforted me. alot... When i was singing this song at the Planetshakers concert.. i found myself in tears.. in pain.. hurt.. broken.. at the start of the song. But at the end of the song? I found myself smiling. =')

This has definitely been a blessing to me.
and i hope it would be a blessing to you as well.

I just thought i should really share this testimony with all of you.
I've been sharing this very message over and over.. and now?
I have experienced it myself.

Our God never fails, His Love Never Fails. =)

xoxo.!

Last Entry. For now..

2011-10-22T00:41:00.001+08:00

Hey dear readers..

i've been feeling this way for quite some time.. but i just left these feelings and thoughts to linger on without doing anything about them. You know, i happen to be someone who likes to share my Life with all of my friends..and i guess in this case (my blog) with the rest of the world as well.. Especially to people whom i want to be close to. I tend to want to share alot with them.. Because i really believe that if I really want to be closer to someone, You just cant keep secrets from them? It has always been a part of me.. to just want to share things with people whom i close to. Things about me.. things that happen in my life.. and to some extend, secrets in My Life. Sometimes, i really wish i wasn't like this. Sometimes, i really wish that i was a more conservative person. I wish that i wouldn't pour out so much so quickly. I somehow view this part of me as something that is not good. A weakness. I seriously don't understand how others view this part of me as something that is admirable. i really don't.

To be honest, Sometimes, i really do feel that, because i share so much with someone, later on.. sooner or later.. I get taken for granted. And this has happened. true story. taken for granted in the sense that.. Oh.. i know so much about her without having to make that much effort.. So nice, she tells me stuffs without me having to ask. And what happens next? Somehow, you wouldn't bother to make anymore effort to get to know me more. to know me better. and i just keep giving and giving and giving.. until i run dry.

Same goes with blogging and facebook. I blog because i have friends all over the world. And i guess the easiest way to update you guys, is through this blog. You know what? Updates of my Life and all are so readily there.. and easy to access.. and you know.. its just there. Right in front of you. how i am.. whats going on and etc. But somehow, i just get this feeling that because everything is just there, right in front of you, I guess you guys just dont find a reason to make the effort to come and ask me personally? Like, for wht right? coz everything is already there. Here in this blog. or On facebook. So much so that there are SO MANY PEOPLE who are watching over me.. constantly updating themselves about me and my whereabouts.. vast amount of people who apparently are watching over me and people who care for me.. But vast amount of people who i dont even know is there? Honestly? honestly sometimes i really feel so alone. I know, I know that there are SO MANY of you out there who really cares for me still.. and you are so called still.. 'there' or 'here'. but the thing is, i realize that i've not the slightest clue about who does care and who is there. i really wouldn't know.

and thats why, i've always wondered... What if i disappeared from the internet world for a while? where updates about me are no longer made available? how many people would actually take the time and make the effort to actually find out how i'm doing and etc?

The very same question has lingered in my thoughts for a very long time. But i guess right now, at this moment, i am really starting to feel it. to feel taken for granted. its really hitting me.. and i guess its time i did something about the way i'm feeling..i've push aside my feelings for quite a while.. i tend to do that. suppress it and leave it deep down under. but its starting to really get to me.

I dont know why, but right now, i just feel like building this wall.. and just stay behind this wall.. away from everyone else. to stay in my shell.. and hide from the rest of the world. I love to share my life with close and loved ones. But after a while, i dont know why but they get the idea as if i HAVE to share my feelings, my thoughts with them..because i HAVE to.. i just have to. But that is the complete opposite of why i do what i do. I tell you things... i want to tell you about my day.. and just share things about My Life with you because i WANT to. i want you to know more about me. I want our relationship to grow stronger. But in the end, these things get taken for granted. As if i Have to. and it really hurts me. it really does.

So this will be my last entry, for now.
Till i'm feeling better.. and till i feel its okay to come back.
I really hope i didn't offend or hurt anyone in this entry. i really have no intention or whatsoever to point fingers and to make you feel bad.. I just wanted to really share my true feelings.. from deep down under.. with you.

Till next time,
xoxo.!

The exact thoughts in My head.

2011-10-19T22:34:00.002+08:00

Put down in statements/quotes/pictures.

whatever you call them.

xoxo.!

Mmm..

2011-10-18T23:54:00.000+08:00

You know, i've been thinking alot lately.
One true fact.

Sometimes we get so annoyed and frustrated when someone does something all the time.. Like, a close friend teasing you and calling you names.. or a parent who constantly nags you to blow your hair dry.. or to drink more water.. or to go down and eat your dinner.. to sleep early.. or a close friend constantly smacking you for no good reason.

All these things.. At present times, we may wish it would just STOP! coz it can get pretty annoying.. irritating.. whatever you wanna label it. But one true fact about this? You'd realize that once they finally stop doing what they've always done, You will miss it.. SO BADLY. You'd wish it never stopped. You'd wish things would go back to the way it used to be.

Likewise, a friend getting upset or angry with you easily..
Sometimes you'd feel.. oh gossssh.. so easy angry! like tht also angry! and yada yada..
or.. Why so easy emo ?! she always emo-ing! emo kid!

But when they stop feeling all these things towards you..
You'd suddenly feel a wall between the both of you and you'd feel like.. Man.. why doesn't he or she get angry with me anymore? why dont he/she get upset when i do this anymore?!

Simple.
The reason why they feel all these feelings towards you because of your actions and all.. it's cause they care for you.. and you mean something to them. If you meant nothing, and you were just another hi bye person, Do you think they'd care feeling this way? Likewise with family members. The reason why they nag you or siblings, when we easily get upset with each other.. its because they love you. it is because you mean something to them and they care.. and that is why they feel upset or get easily angry when you do whtever you do. well, this isn't always the case..

sometimes some people are just so sensitive and emotional. But i am speaking from an average..normal.. person perspective? hahaha.. i dunno.. but yeah.. i realize that many times we ask ourselves this question.. " Why do i even bother?! " and you feel so angry with yourself for caring SO much! U feel like, they dont even deserve such care and love from me! But in the end, you still do whatever you do, because you care and you love and they mean something to you. Also, then again, Who Is deserving of such care and love? we're all humans. we all make mistakes. =)

I constantly have a battle with myself.
All the time. when i'm caught up in certain situations.. i'd bomb myself with a million questions. Why are you doing this?! Why cant you just let it go and care less? Why can't you just ................. ~ and the list goes on. Sometimes, i feel stupid for continuing to do something that secretly hurts me. But that have always been my weakness. I'd rather suppress all my feelings and hide it behind a smile than see the person that i care for feel bad or feel sad. Lets just say i dont really care about what i feel. or rather, i choose to keep what i feel, deep down inside. All to myself. and deal with it myself. I know this isn't a healthy thing to do. Sometimes, instead of making the relationship better, it kills the relationship. But its just SO DIFFICULT for me to tell someone, Hey, look here,you really really hurt me this time. BUT if i do tell you, if i do confront you, it's something really Big and something really difficult for me to do.. but the fact that i still push myself to do it? You must mean a great deal to me. hahaa.. so semua-semua yang pernah diconfronted, bangga lah anda. =P unless of course, we've never had such conflicts in our friendships till now. haha. =D

Aihs anyways, i've just been having alot on my mind lately larhs..
So confusing and complicating. =(

I guess the conclusion for this entry is ..to not take for granted, whatever you have now. Even though sometimes you may find it annoying.. trust me. You'll miss it when they stop.

xoxo.!

Thank You All. =)!

2011-10-17T23:16:00.004+08:00

Hey all!

I've been good.. and i just want to thank everyone again.. For all the wishes presents and love! I truly feel blessed to have such amazing family and friends in My Life.. =)

I will blog about my birthday soon. But i guess one word to describe my birthday this year? Different. This year, it was different..

I've been really busy the past week! So many things going on.. and i've been busy going out.. ahahha..yes..been going out ALOT. and i guess the pass few days have been so hectic that this week i just feel so tired so easily! believe it or not, i have been sleeping pretty early since sunday. HAHA. tht ws like yday..

but yesss.. have been sleep deprived!
AND GUESS WHAT?! I finally got myself a Baju Kurung and a Punjabi suit! how cool right?! really happy about it! =D =D =D

and.. i've been deep in thoughts.. once again.
thinking and thinking.. so many questions left unanswered..

yeah i btr stop now before i go on and on and on.
will update u guys as soon as possible!
right now, my studies are starting to get pretty hectic..
i can already feel its work load and i feel as if i've not enough time!
so yeah, been pretty busy.
but since last time till now, i will always strongly hold on to the view that no matter how busy i am, i will always try to make tine for the people who are close to my heart. I really do try. and it is no excuse for me to say tht im busy. It takes effort. But it definitely shouldn't be an excuse. And I know myself, that despite how busy i am.. i definitely can spare a lil time for the ones i love..for the ones who mean something to me.

xoxo.!

Time. Thats all its ever been..

Sighs.

Question is, Are u willing ?

2011-10-10T02:28:00.001+08:00

Hey guys! it has been a very rollercoaster week. it definitely has.
Up up up up up dowwwwwn dowwwn dowwwwwn Up dowwwn Up downn.

yups!
well.. Ups.
I've been really blessed eversince my entry about the dance workshop and all. really. So many things have been happening and i've been receiving so mucn love and care and blessings both right infront of me and in disguise. and i really thank God for every single one of them.

But also, last week, grandma got admitted to the hospital because she was pretty sick and doctors felt that it would be safer and better for her to be in the hospital where there are nurses doing constant check ups and etc. so yeah.. was really worried for her..

and i have been reaaaalllyyy busy lately. and at one point of time, i felt really worn out. That feeling you get when you tell yourself.. "I am only one person." Sighs.. but yeah it was as if so many things were happening at the exact same time and i had to choose. This, or that? and it was so difficult for me to make these choices and the consequences following from those choices. blaaahs. and also, i was pretty stressed up that my skype meeting with kim keep getting canceled or delayed because of so many things coming up. it was so difficult for me! i miss her so much.. and i had sooo many things to tell her. but it all got bottled up inside till after a while, they all started disappearing one by one. =/ hmm.

so yeah .. and a few other issues la. which made me pretty down.

but also, at the same time, alot of good things have been happening to me.
and that is why i was and still am trying to not let bad things erase the good things so easily.

This quote really touched my heart.

" The love of people often increases with performance and decreases with mistakes. Not so with God's love. He loves you right where you are. " - Max Lucado

Isn't that so true?
the minute u make one mistake, all of a sudden, u became the person who never cared. something i went through quite recently.. and when i came across this quote.. i felt like it really related to me.

Also, i've been thinking about comfort.
You know how you are always on guard when your around people.. whether ur hair looks nice.. whether u are in shape.. whether u are pleasing to their eyes.. we can deny it all we want. But the truth is that we DO CARE about what others think. whether or not you realize it. thats just natural. a natural thing if u ask me. being self conscious. So yeah.. i was trying to list down the names of people whom i feel comfortable with. Where i can be in a total mess but have that secure feeling that even after what they have seen, they will still look at me in the same way, they will still love and care for me like how they have,all this while.

You see, i am a person who is yes, sociable and friendly and yada yada. but the truth is, i may seem to warm up to people very quickly. But to actually be comfortable with someone? it takes me a very long long time. where i'm alright showing you freaky faces and yet still know that you will look at me in the same way. Or showing you the side of me that not many people have seen. or even jogging, exercising, where i look all sweaty and lobster-fied. Truth is, i do care. and that is why i dont usually do sports with people i am not close to. You'd be surprise but think about how long you've known me. (to those who actually know me. lol. ) Ask yourself this question. Have i ever went swimming with you? Or jogging for that matter? or have u ever seen me all sweaty and eeeky and ewwwy?

=)

there u have it.

So yeah. I realize, there are not many people who i can say, I find comfort in and i feel comfortable,whenever i'm around them. Please dont get me wrong. This doesn't mean that i am not close to you or you are any less. I still appreciate and treasure you like i always have. its just that, i realize how long it actually takes me to be fully comfortable with someone. =)

ie : to let someone brush of my fringe that covers my bigggg biggg forhead and yet smile.. without frantically putting my fringe back into position to cover that forhead of mine.

the little little things. =D

just a portion of my thoughts and a little insight of Celineeee Yap. =P

But honestly, the feeling you get, when you can be completely you, without being self conscious when you are with someone who is not a family member. that feeling? it is priceless. it feels sooo good. and i've not been able to feel that way for quite a while. Exceptions of certain people of course. haha.

anywaaaays~! i have a very exciting story to share with you today.
Today, i woke up late for church. Benroy and I usually go for the morning service at 8.30am because we have dance at 1pm. so if we go for the 11am one, we would have to leave early or be late for dance. So, we went for the 11am service today. GUESS WHAT HAPPENED?! Pastor Julie started picking a few people from the congregation and asked them to go on stage. And i was one of them. =) guess what happened next?! I was asked to LEAD WORSHIP! :O ! i was totally caught off guard! i was so shocked! i didn't even know what songs they were singing, and when they told me, i only knew the 1st song! *gasp!* the rest of the songs was like.. " HAH? " for me! but the other thing that surprised me.. was the fact that..

You see, i lead worship last time. on a frequent basis in St.Pauls. but i stopped leading for almost half a year now. because i wanted to set things straight with God and to get back on track. and i didn't think it was right for me to lead a congregation when i myself, am lost. so that is why i stopped. but when i shifted church, after a few months, i wanted to start serving again. but this new church, is so big. and there are already so many people serving. i didn't see any opportunity for me to serve and so, i just kept quiet and went to church like the rest. But today, when this happened, I felt as if God was forcing me onto the stage and saying.. " NAH! Go! u were waiting for an opportunity? This is it Kah May. This is It ! It is time, walk through this door that i have just opened for you. take it, and use it well. " My God is truly amazing.

Seek and u shall find. Ask and you shall receive.

I realize how God is always there. He always is.
and when you ask him for opportunities? He will give it to you. But according to His time. and to His will. And like the title of this entry..

Question is, Are you willing?
Are you willing to go for whatever that is in store for you?
are you willing to grab that opportunity when God opens a door for you?
Are you willing?

Many of us ask. But we doubt.
If you yourself dont even believe in what you are asking for, My question to you is..

What then are you expecting?!

So yeah. Back to my story. It was just so amazing how God spoke to me today. it was such a blessing indeed. with totally no practice or anything... I lead my church in worship today. =) Definitely couldn't have done it without God's guidance. All Glory to God! This day, will definitely be a day, i will never forget. The way God spoke to me? one word. Amazing. =')

Also! i have been receiving quite a few early birthday prezzies!
ahhh.. I feel so loved! :)!
Honestly, when people ask me what plans i have for my birthday this year?
i seriously have no clue at all. HAHA. Go to Uni. and come home. =D
we'll see how this week turns out.
NOW. i have to charge up for Criminal Law in a few hours time!
bad bad baaad. sleeping late before criminal law. when will i ever learn?! =P

xoxo.!

Human Nature..

2011-10-07T20:33:00.004+08:00

Human nature, something i will never understand..
Why isit that Good things can be so easily erased by a bad thing?
it takes u 1000000000000000 times to earn trust, or good deeds to show ur sincerity..and ur heart.. but just ONE.. just one bad thing, can throw ALL of those 10000000000000 good stuffs, away.

erased. in a matter of seconds.

One person could've been the one helping or taking care of this person throughout..
but so happen, in a time of need, when u cannot be there.. or happen NOT to be there at that moment of need, all of a sudden, u become the person who was never there.

that is so... unfair.
and so painful..

but sadly, thats just how things roll..
and if you are unfortunate.. u get caught, in the very same position or spot, countless of times.

Sighs.

FUN FUN HAPPY!

2011-10-05T19:06:00.000+08:00

HELLO WELLO!

my week since friday till today have been SO GOOD! when people ask "how are you?" i realize that after a quite a long time, i can finally actually tell them.. IM DOING GREAT! =D because i have been! i have been so so very blessed in SO MANY WAYS! i have been having such good days.. i've been meeting so many new people! SO MANY GOOD THINGS! =D!

the highlight of my week? i received an early birthday present all the way from Penang! ahhhh~! That has left me with smiles all the way up till now! i dunno about you, but whenever i received things through post, i feel sooooooo verryyyy happy! i actually really love receiving letters and all.. compared to emails, etc. it melts me! serious melting. HAHA. Now u know one of my secrets. =P its so sad that people nowadays hardly appreciates the posting system anymore! even though we are all advancing with technology, sometimes, i like to take a step back, and leave a part of me in the oldies. =P things done, the old school way~! ;) so yeah! i was SUUUPEEER happy about that! Thank you so muccchhhhs Yin Kuen! u made my week la! =)) hahaa..*hugggs!*

and on that very same day, i received a digi top up from i dunno who? someone just reloaded my digi line for me! ahhhh i feel SO BLESSED.

and i've been meeting so many new people recently! and it all started with just a smile! =)! They smile at me, i smile back, then we start talking = NEW FRIENDS! hahahaaa.. so nice la! =D

and there are like SO MANY BIRTHDAYS in october! seriously! i've so many pending birthday parties to attend! and later i'll be going out to celebrate another friend's birthday.. =)

and oh!

NICHOLAS KAM CHING JEE!
my dear dear beloved Didi! Dear foofoo~! even after a year have passed, u are still.. SO FOOFOO! hahaha never changed one bit! haizzz.. =P But anyways! even though i didn't get to spend your birthday with you today, I am glad that yet, for another whole year, u stayed in My Life.. and i just want to Thank God over and over for your existence in my life.. U meant and mean alot to me.. Blessed Birthday Dii! Love you still, as always. =) *HUGSSUPERTIGHT!*

So yeah! as always, October's gonna be a rocking happening month!
SOOOO EXCITEDS! =D!

and tutorials just started. and it was so FUN!

Today is just.. SUCH A FUN AND HAPPY DAY!
And i thank God everyday, for giving me another day of Life in this world.

xoxo.!

Faith and Risks.

2011-10-02T00:16:00.001+08:00

Hello dear readers! how did the week go for you? Mine was one, filled with thoughts. I realize how much i've been thinking and thinking and thinking about sooooo many things. Anyways, one of it, is about a blind person crossing the road.

You see, i study in a uni in brickfields and there are alot of blind people walking around everyday. And whenever i see a blind person about to cross the road, i'd always run to help them cross the road. If you dont already know, most of the time, when a blind person is crossing the road.. they'd cross and lift their walking stick in the air.. to make themselves more visible to the cars.. and cross. I dont know about you, but when i see them cross the roads like tht, every step they take, is definitely a step of Faith.

Every step, with the Faith that the cars would see them crossing and that they wont get knock down. Watching them cross the roads with such faith truly inspires me. I really admire such Faith. Why? I realize how people like us, blessed with sight and perfectly normal body functions have such lil faith. In our daily walks of Life. This generation has slowly evolved to one that lives a life of insurance. This generation hardly takes that Leap of Faith. Be it job opportunities, exposure, friendships, relationships, love, studies, you name it! Then i start asking myself these questions, I've perfectly normal sight, i've perfectly normal hands legs..etc. BUT YET! i hesitate alot in taking chances.. in grabbing opportunities.. in striving to achieve my goals and dreams. Why do we doubt ourselves so much? why do I doubt myself when i know that I have a God, whom with all things, are possible?

The Greatest Risk in Life, Is not taking one at all !

So stop staying in that shell of yours. Stop staying in your comfort zone. Because when you try many things, u make many mistakes but the greatest mistake you'll ever make is trying nothing at all! It is time. So go!

Also, i've recently watched "The Stoning of Soraya M. " it was such a sad and brutal movie. But i tried putting myself in their shoes. Us, the so called civilized would think that these men were heart of stones, cold blooded and cruel to treat Us women with such little respect and gratitude. But i guess many of us fail to remember the fact that they weren't as blessed as Us to have been brought up in such a civilized background. To them, stoning may just be another way of punishing someone, like any other death penalty. I am sure that if she were to get a needle stuck into her arm as a death penalty, we wouldn't feel as angry. but what is the difference? aren't they all the same? how isit less cruel? aren't you also taking the Life of another human?

hahaa.. i wont go on. But i was thinking of alot of other things. I guess the part that really broke my heart was the part when her own sons, threw the stones at her. At that very moment, i dont think it was the pain of the stones that made her cry out, But the pain in her Heart. Her own sons, whom she gave birth to, is stoning her for something she didn't do. What can be worse than this for a mother or a parent?! then i started thinking about my parents. thinking about the times i fought back and argued back. Tho, i dont really do that la. =D but still, One of God's commandments is to Obey our Parents. Sighs, u know, nowadays, we're all a generation that speaks our mind and express ourselves, ALOT. So if we think our parents are wrong, We state the fact. Then again, Even if they are wrong, does that give us the right to argue and fight back? This is a super dilemma question for me k. I know, that no matter what, we should always listen to our parents and to always adhere to whatever they say. BUT SOMETIMES ITS JUST SO HARRRDDD! especially when they are wrongggggg... =S hahaha but last time, if u ever argued back, sure gone case. Nowadays? we get away with it sometimes. And this is quite bad la. i think. hmm.. especially if u abuse it.

So yeah, LOADS of thinking throughout this whole week. Theres alot on my mind. alot of other things and decisions i have to make.

ANYWAYS! i just had an amaaazing day!

In the morning, i went to Glad Tidings Sri Damansara to carry out a dance workshop! =)

Alyssa, my uni friend invited me to her church to hold a dance workshop. =)

I had so much fun! =) i always feel very happy when i get to share my passion with others. and my talent that God blessed me with. And in return, i get to bless others too! its a priceless feeling i tell u!

I went to GTSD today, excited to teach! and to give them a wider view of dance, the way i see dance as. And what dance is, to me. I went there, with no expectations other than to pour out whatever i knew.. =)

But after the workshop, GTSD blessed me with a generous envelope! ahhh.. I felt so touched and blessed when i received it! You guys really shouldn't have. hahaa i hope alyssa helped me thank u guys AGAIN! I had a great time today. =) thank you all for the experience! heee.. so many new friends today. =) AND THEY BOUGHT ME LUNCH! hahaa.. Felt so blessed! =) wanna know the best part? GTSD is actually the first church i ever went to. before i shifted to Bukit Jalil from Sg Buloh, i used to go to GTSD when i was.. 6-7yrs? yup! and it was in GTSD where my family accepted Christ into our lives. =) Its funny how after 12 years, I am back in this church, giving a dance workshop! HAHA! God works in mysterious ways. =D!

At night, or rather just now, i went to Kingdom City for an event which actually required tickets. But when i was at the counter, about to buy mine, the girl said.. " This ticket has already been paid for. So you can just go in. =) " WAH?! am i Blessed or AM I BLESSED?! hahaaa.. so nice lah.. =))))))))

So, Pastor Matt Fielder from Planetshakers was the Speaker of the night !

And there were dance performances and skits as well.

it was so good seeing Him again after 5 years !

And dear tey tey was there too! =) She invited me to this event.. =D! i had a very good time rachel! thanks for inviting me! many more events like this to come! and we shall go together in future! =)))

He is such a lovable and funny pastor la. =)

and He hugs people properly one k! hahaa.. when he hugs you, he REALLY hugs you!

dragged lil brother along as well! =) away from his exam stress for a while.. =)

So yeah! it has been, a very very good day.. and i cannot mention enough how BLESSED i am la. i really am.

Such an Amazing day. =)

xoxo.!

My September. =)

2011-09-24T23:28:00.000+08:00

Hey all.. =) So the start of my september has been a very busy one. And right now, i'm just trying to chill as much as i can.. So most of the saturdays now, i just try to stay at home and rest. PLUS.. the fact that i've been feeling unwell this whole week.. all i wanna do is just stay home.. rest.. and not go anywhere. but i think staying indoors too long is bad for me as well.. hahaa felt so suffocated today.. i miss the parks.. =( and i realize how i've been trying to avoid shopping malls lately. I just love the outdoors alot lah.. so yeah, current state? Sneezing like crazyyyy! my nose feels like some mucus tap that wouldn't stop running. Hahaha i slept till 2.30pm today weih! its been a very long time since i've last slept so much! and i've been drowning myself in vitamin Cs. SO ANYWAYS! the long awaited pictures.. =)

- 1st September -

Karaoke with Yin Kuen! =P =D
See! i proved u wrong ! hahaa.. karaoke is sooo fun ok! =)

It was also B's birthday.. So Shan,Chester,Kim and I celebrated his Birthday at 1u's Chilis! =) we treated him to dinner..

Shan Li ! =) Kim's lil bro.

*loves!*

Hahaha bday boy! =)

Okay.. my Baskin robbin's 'cake' totally failed k! gaaah! =( when it came, it was melted.. was so bumped out about it. but nvm.. he enjoyed his 'cake' anyways.. =))) See B! u better appreciate me kay.. hahaha..always sayang u so much.

And the second surprise at home.. =) how can let u end ur bday without a proper cake la? =D

- 2nd September -

Went out with my cousin, Mun Yi! =))) hahahahaa.. RM0.99 sushi k! so cool! there was a promotion going on and she went all crazyyyy! hahahahaha..

=) Marshmallows and gummy bears in the cinema!

& Say Hello to My new friend, ELMO! =D!

Ahhh... So love this shirt.. =)))))! been looking for it since, ages ago!

- 3rd September -

Dear ryn came to KL! so managed to hang out with her and i brought her to IKEA to makan meatballs! hahahaa.. the oh-so-famous meatballs! if u've not tried it, GO NAAAAAO. u've no idea wht u're missing! =) *ikea should totally pay me for advertising * =P

Then i had Hands Foot Mouth disease the next day. =(
So alot of awaited plans had to be canceled. ahhh... i-city.. =(((((
But nvm. now that i'm btr, i-city must happen the next round k?! :)

- 7th September -

EVERYONE! MEET MINDY THE GOLDEN RETRIEVER! =)))))!

She's only 2months old..

And she's SUPER ADORABLE!

I want a picture with her too.. =(((

The sight of her just melts my heart la.. =))))))) ahhhhh~! *cuddles!*

The all of a sudden! She just suddenly ran out of battery and slept like a log! hahahaa.. we poke poke move her play with her tail also she dont want wake up! hahahahaa... SO CUTEEEE!

PAW! =D

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! =)))))))))))))))))

Awww.. i miss these two people alots alots alots! =(
*sendsflyinghugstothebothofyou!*

And the stayovers begun!

Hee.. =) Kim and I got the same shirt at cotton on! =D

And yup! we wore the same shirt to uni together! hahaa.. =))
I realize how alot of people nowadays dont do such things anymore. coz they shyyy.. hahaaa.. we steady ni la. ;)

And at night we went to Nic's hse to get the SAT's past year questions for ryn.. ahhh.. i miss this silly boy la.. Havent seen him in such a long time.. =))) Missed ur hugs u foofoo! was so nice seeing you again tht night.. =))) *huggggs!!*

Then Kim and I went to watch The Smurfs..at ioi.
Its so cute! but.. i fell asleep! HAHAHAHA. ahhhh! its just tht i had a superrrrr LONG day.. and i cant believe i fell asleep la! hahahahaa..I TRIED SO HARD TO STAY AWAKE! serious!

And chester made us mooncake! ahhh! so sweet of him.. =) first guy or rather, first person to have ever made mooncake for me..=D thanks chester!

=)
I miss you.

Lil bro and I after dance. =)!

Tadaaaa! Turqoise! =D =)

hahahaa.. Miss Messy! =PPPP

Wendy's!

Miss Rynnie!

Dancey.Dolley.Dreamy.

Love u girls! =))))))

I like some small girl. HAHAHA.

So let me story you about this night, where we call it, the "Fail Night!"
We wanted to eat Sushi because Kim wanted to celebrate birthday with me before she ciao. a 1 month early birthday. =) coz it ws the 12th of September. BUT. By the time we reached ioi, and walked in, the guy went "Sorry miss, but the chef just called the last call." So we were like MAAAN! nvm, we went Wendy's. THEN, we wanted to watch a movie, BUT! guess wht?! The cinema was CLOSED! and it was only 11pm! HAHA. WAT IS THIS LAH?! D: last year, on my birthday, i rmb kim and i wanted to watch movie, and it was closed also. AND. it was 11pm like tht also. AHHH. SUPER FAIL. hahaha.. but nvm, we had fun anyways. and we went home and watch smallville in the end. =P

I love this picture! ahhhh~! =))))!

Hahaha she had to bend down..SO LOW.

Guess what we had for dinner?! jengjengjengjeng!

SUSHI!
haha. actually i'm not a DIE DIE SUSHI LOVER! i just happen to really like INARI! =D =D =D!
hahaa.. it was so funny..! when this big tray came, everyone got their chopsticks ready, and said, on 3! grab the one u like and want! everyone grabbed some expensive one and was like fighting for the same sushi. but i went for my inari peacefully without anyone to fight with! HAHAHAA. SO FUNNY LAH! it was like 3! and i went for my inari.. *looks around* HAHHAHAHA! aihhh..u people and ur salmon prawn and all. PFFT! =P

As we were taking these shots, kim was sumwhere on the phone. and we're like.. "Kim sure go.. AHHH WHERE WAS I?!" when she see these pictures.. hahahaa.. but...

She ran and came just in time to be in the picture with us.. *FAIL!* hahahaa.. =P no la no la.. ur the star of the picture twin. =)

Hee! ryn in the other mirror. SAY HELLO! =D

meet Ee! aka YIK YEE. =)

hahaha.. tomato me.. =)))

Ryn: STOP TAKING PICTURES! i wanna eat my smelly taofoo!
hahahaa..

SMEWY TAOFOO! =S
yer.. not nice also lor.. =/

It was me and Kim's first time trying it!

She stayed in this position for like a whole minute!

Then karyn just took her piece and stuffed into kim's mouth right away! HAHAHAA.

SMILE...at first. =.=!

Yeeeeeeeeeeee! SUPER NOT NICE.
Dislikes! x 100!

What a fun last night ! =) hahaha.. i'll upload our pretty girl rock video soon la girls! or not.. ? Ee is gonna kill me if i do.. HAHAHAHAHAA... but its so fun! =)

That night, Kim and I stayed up till 5.30am packing..and getting all her stuffs ready.. she slept for an hour the minute we got back though.. hahaha.. she's such a sleepy head! sure sleep first one lor.. hahahaa..Memorable last night before u went UK wasn't it? =) *hugggs!*

I love this shot! Thanks ryn! =)))))!

And we couldn't sleep in even though we slept very late. coz Lee tat came in the morning with Mc D's breakfast for us! Ahhh.. thanks so much lee tat! =)) all of them such a sweetheart la! =))

then pack pack pack.. and finally, left the hse..

Kim chose Pan mee to be her last meal in malaysia till she comes back nxt year.. =)
AND GUESS WHAT?! i had a very pleasant welcome from the pan mee lorh! pfft..

i chose chili pan me.. when i got mine, so happy.. mix mix mix.. then the minute i took the mee with my chopsticks, it slipped out and the chili thing shot straight into my eyes! AHHHHHHHHHHH! SUMMORE IT WAS SO HOT! so for a moment, i had HOT AND SPICY! in my eyes.. ahhh! pain k! =(

Neways, i was feeling REALLY TIRED. so on the way to KLIA, i had a nap. =)

Shan and Kim. =)

Ryn and Kim! =)

Kim's mum and chester..

Us.. =)

Shan so tall. =.=! cant believe he is only like.. 15?!

checking in.

then Jie Kath had to leave..

Then we sat at secret recipe for half an hour.. and slowly and one by one.. Kim's friends came out to surprise her! hahahaa.. IM SO GOOD AT KEEPING A SECRET LA AREN'T I?! Mwahahahaha! xD i love successful surprises! =D

See how loved and blessed you are kimberley ong jing ling? =)

And finally.. it was time to say goodbye..

AND.. i cried. =.=! hahaha..

I really thought i wasn't going to cry edy.. but i did in the end.. Ahhh... =(

Kim and Kar wei =) i think i should thank him. He bought us all more time with her. =) coz she ws waiting for him to come. hahaha..

This is not Goodbye. More like..
See U soon! =D till next time! hahaha..

Ahhh.. =) so glad ur safe in London now.

So yeah. after the busy start, all i wanted to do was stay at home and rest and chill. seriously. I've only went out once.. like to hang out eversince she left. went for movie with Kok Sime..watched Nasi lemak 2.0 =D

And i finally got to skype with Mei.. =)
it was sooo good chatting with u mei! its been ages! hahahaa.. our laughing moments still stuck in my head la.. u made me so shy.. =P! NOTTY!

And it has been great! i've been pretty alright with Kim being in London because we've texted and she calls..and we skype! so yeah.. =) all of a sudden she feels so much closer..!

=D

So yeah..there you go! my busy busy september! haha.. i really cant believe that september is already coming to an end in 6 days! thats just crazy! U know.. eventhough i feel like.. MAAN! Kim has only been gone for a week plus.. just 1 week plus! but it feels like it has been AGES! yet.. i feel as if the year is coming to an end wayyyy too fast! Its gonna be deepavali soon! they started setting up tents for the deepavali festival infront my coll.. and when i saw it.. i was like.. O.O?! what? its deepavali already?! hehs.

the funny thing about time. =)

I'm missing alot of people. but my health condition and classes have not allowed me to meet so many other people.. i hope u understand! Please dont ever say or think that you're forgotten kay? =) U are not. Hope to meet and catch up with you guys soon!

i can already feel the bulk of my law degree.
and it is just the start.
and for sure, I know i cant get through this degree without You,God.

Please lead me and guide me. Please help me to have good time management.
and in the whole journey of my degree, please Lord, help me not forget the important things in Life. Help me not neglect these things. In Jesus's name I pray,Amen.

xoxo,!

Do you really know for sure that You'd wake up tomorrow?

2011-09-23T00:10:00.002+08:00

Randomness alert! but anyways hey people..
I just had a really really Long day.. a very tiring one..
but an interesting one i'd say.. anyways..
As i was driving home.. i suddenly started thinking alot..
Alot about Life. And how we easily take our lives for granted.
haha.. i know i've given tonnes of speeches in previous entries about how we take our lives and time on earth and time with loved ones for granted.. but here it is again! =P

Really. Sometimes, My imaginations can run wild.
As i was driving home, i had questions like..
What if i were to suddenly get into a terrible accident.. before being able to reach home?
What would happen? What if i survived but my mum and lil bro did not?
and what if it was the other way round? what if i did not survive the crash..
and the two of them survived it? What would they think?
What would my friends who said, "Bye! See u tmr! dont be late!" think or say?
How would they react?

I know the feeling. Because i've been in such situations before.
When i say, Alright! c ya tomorrow! =D or C ya on Monday!
but guess what? I never got the chance to do so..
I never saw them again after that last goodbye.
That shocked feeling. Like it was just yday when i last saw/talked to her/him.
Thats how fragile Life is. All of us go to sleep every night..
being So sure.. SO SO SURE.. that we will see them again.
I know we constantly hear the saying, Live everyday like it is your last.
But again, it is always easier said than done.
Sometimes we get too caught up in the routines of Life, we forget how fragile Life is.
How anything can happen, at anytime. We malaysians, for some reason, we have this attitude- "Oh dont worry it wont happen to me." We hear about all these news of bad things happening to people everywhere. But i guess not many of us actually thought of such happening to us. Maybe because we've been so blessed to have been saved from natural disasters and so on. Maybe thats why we feel safe. and we feel like earth quakes and tsunamis wont happen to us.

I never thought i'd ever get robbed. Not once. But i got robbed twice last year.
Until it happens to us, We'll never have the slightest thought of "What if that was me?"
maybe because, we all take our everyday life for granted so often.
Dont get me wrong, I'm not saying that you should try to put urself in every situation and live a life of fear and all. I'm just trying to encourage you guys to actually appreciate every single day, More.
Both Your Life, and Your Loved ones.
You never know what can happen in the next second,minute,hour,day.
Only God knows. and that is why, We should take everyday as a gift.
I dunno about you, but every night, I Thank God for giving me another day to live.
I guess, because of all that i've experienced in my life journey thus far..
I've come to learn to appreciate Life so much more.. =)
Though, i still have to work on how i end my day, sometimes, going to sleep with ill feelings.Going to sleep, angry,disappointed with someone. What if i dont get a chance to settle things with them tomorrow? Should i even take such chances? the famous " Oh i'll do that tomorrow. It can wait." Can it really?

haha.. so yeah. i've yet to work on that.
i admit that it is really hard. sometimes, it feels almost impossible to settle things before going to bed. You just feel like settling it all tomorrow and u just want to go sleep and not think about it. But i guess, thats another example of how we take the people around us and Life for granted.

I really thank God that i've not experienced such situations where i never get to make my peace with someone because of death, etc. i really do. But i really hope it doesn't happen in the coming future.

So yeah. one of my random thoughts again. =) Hope it was a good reminder to all of you.
I know it was a good reminder to me. =)

I came back really late today. Because my college had an event called the Fresher's Night. it was basically a berbonding time for all the students in my uni. also, to promote the New Law Society that is now up and running in my Uni. =) I met so many people today! so happy bout that! though, i met all sorts and types of people, and some, people with attitudes i thought was no longer present at this very age! but i guess i thought wrong. haha.. how shocking. Hmm.. So yup! it was good. But i've been feeling pretty sick the whole week. On the verge of falling sick. But i can tell that my body's immune system is really trying to fight fever. coz i keep getting slight fever's on and off. and the flu and sore throat has already got the better of me. haha. so yeah. need tonnes of rest! cant wait to see all the pictures that were taken tonight. =)

xoxo.!

Rainy Morning.

2011-09-19T23:02:00.001+08:00

Hey all.. sorry for the recent emo entry.
This is where i do express myself anyways..

ANYWAYS. guess wht guess wht?!
i'm really proud of myself. =))) u know why?
Because yday, i had a really good day, till i had a bad night..
and usually i'd let it get the better of me..but this time..
i didn't! =) i trashed it! trashed the bad night far far awaaaay~!
its so sad how its so difficult to have a perfect nice good day and with one snap, ur good day can easily turn into a bad day. just like that.

i really think its something i ought to change about myself..
I guess this is just Life. things happen unexpectedly..
and if i am going to allow every single detail to easily ruin a good day..
What kind of life would i lead eh?
its sad how it takes so much to make us happy and so little to make us angry, sad, etc.
likewise, when people fight or argue.. the good things are forgotten in a blink of an eye..
but all the bad things come flooding like some tsunami.

I wonder if i'd be able to change my view of things from this moment forth.
it is definitely easier said than done. for all i know, it may take years till i can finally and proudly say that my perspective of things have changed. but i guess its worth the try.

sometimes, after a fight, or an argument, i reflect and realize how stupid sometimes humans can get. Is fighting over things of the earth that will not last worth the broken relationship? sometimes i ask myself where my priority is. Sometimes we all get too caught up with the things of the world. And me? Being the sentimental person i am, I hold on dearly to many things of the world. Things given by people and so forth. And sometimes, they become too important. more important than the human beings in my life.

And with the busy life i lead?
Sometimes i become too busy for God as well.

Again, i ask myself, what is my priority in Life ?
Then again, It is always easier said than done.

But its choices we have to make. And decisions we choose to stand firm on.
Today, i had a very early start of the day. And i parked really far from my college building. And it was raining.. Good thing i had an umbrella with me... wouldn't wanna be all drenched in class. But it was a very nice morning walk. Usually, i dislike rainy mornings when i've to walk or go to school or class.. coz i really dont like soaked socks. but it was so different today. I took my own sweet time, to get to my coll. and appreciated the rain and cool morning as i walked to coll. it felt like such a great start. i was even surprised about my change of perspective towards rainy mornings. Tho, it was soooo nice to sleep and the cold airconditioning did not help one bit..hahahaa.. SO SLEEPY IN CLASS! @.@

But it was good. I enjoyed the long walk. =)
Thanks for all your concerns dear friends.. u know it means alot to me.
I guess, problems will keep coming.. its just a matter of time.
But i'm holding up pretty.. alright so far. i think. =D?

xoxo.!

Seriously?

2011-09-18T22:49:00.002+08:00

Do you really think its all because of the icecream?
do you really think that i'm all hard up to finish up a bucket of icecream?
If you do, then clearly, You dont understand me at all.

I know you've successfully manage to get her thinking that it IS all because of a pathetic tub of icecream. I mean, c'mon.. who u kidding? like she'd understand anything abt being sentimental?

i guess thats just too bad for me then.
Im the girl who is selfish calculative and hard up for icecream. OH YA. not forgetting the fact that i am a REAAALLLYYYY good actress. =D

Yipee for me!

Why isit so hard for me to have fun, to have a good day? too much to ask for?
Not going to let this ruin my Good day. Not this time.
Shoo. On you go. Go far far away.

And u noe, i realize the word "hurt" no longer exists in my vocabulary. not that i rmb of recently anyways. Bad? Good? Maybe too much hurt in the past that the word no longer carries any meaning or weight.at least tht applies to a few people. Oooh.. Building a brick of wall season? or built? numbed myself? no idea.

U know, this happens to me SOO FREQUENTLY!
i realize how hard it is for me to have a good day without something or someone coming along and ruining everything perfect about my day. I think its time I learn how to put my words into action. I decide how i want to end my day.

continue sulking.

OR

Trash it, and sleep in peace.

Easier said than done. Believe me.
But i'm going to try to do this, this time. It happens to me so frequently, why not start now eyh? hehs.

He's always watching over me.

2011-09-18T19:57:00.000+08:00

You know, i've been having quite a rough 2 days. well, past 2 days.
And with Kim so far away.. i honestly felt really down yday.
i didn't know who to turn to.. i didn't know who to talk to..
I know that theres alot of friends out there.. ever ready.
but i guess, not all of them would understand why i feel how i felt.
Because Kim and I go way back.

So yeah.. I sat in my car, in a parking lot for 1 hour.. thinking..
Was even on the verge of bursting into tears..
Till a phone call came.

Every single time i feel as if I've no one to turn to..
He always sends me reminders.. to prove me wrong.
What Greater Love is There, Than This?

xoxo.!

Nice day. =)

2011-09-18T15:45:00.000+08:00

You know what i feel like doing now? Its a sunday. all my activities are officially over for the day.. dance was so good.. Wonder what i'd be doing if dance didn't exist as part of my Life.. ahh.. =) Anyways! u know what i feel like doing now? I just feel like being all cuddled up on the sofa, and watch smallville, with maybe a hot cup of Milo. =))))))))))))) the rain is making the day even nicer..what a nice chill day.. *inhales the smell of the rain in the wind* =))))))))) Love that smell!

And guess wht?! i never thought whitney was thaaaaat good looking or hot. UP TILL THIS SCENE! when he was at his dad's funeral.. dunno why suddenly he look so hawt like that.. hehe.. =PPP *blush*

and ohhhh! guess wht? i went to this cafe in my church today. its called M & M. and oh myyyy! i fell in love with the place. really.. =) the setting all so nice.. and the music they play makes me *melt!* and makes me wanna stay there for hours.. hahahaa..

Smallville time! *loveeeeeesssss!*

xoxo.!

Varsity Jacket!

2011-09-16T23:05:00.000+08:00

Ahhh! i've always loved these kinda jackets! but i've not come across one.. till.. KARYN ONG brought me to Forever 21 ! and i saw THIS!

I SAW THISSSSSSSSSSSSS~! and i fell in loveeeee~! ahhh.. but its so pricey.. its like the echo park jacket i wanted to get.. its rm129. =( so ex.. but its so soft and comfy and its navy blue and it looks so niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... *dreamyinloveface!*

This is so tempting now that i've come across one that i really like.

i wonder if i'd be able to find a better bargain somewhere..

Haihs. =/

You're safe now.

2011-09-16T20:30:00.000+08:00

Just watched smallville season 1, episode 16.

This episode really touched my heart.

Especially the part where ryan was with clark in the basement with clark's spaceship. and how ryan told clark about him being abused, being used to steal, about how he can never feel safe..how he's always running. How he doesn't have anyone to rely on, to look up to, to trust.

wah, my heart felt so sad when he started tearing and how clark hugged him tightly after that.

Somehow, sometimes i feel exactly like Ryan.

If you were closer to me, You'd understand why i said whatever i said.

Ahhh..

Now i feel like hugging someone.. =(

I LOVE SMALLVILLE! =)))))))

My second half of August. =)

2011-09-16T16:08:00.002+08:00

So... They say a picture says a thousand words.

Enjoy! =)

- RESULTS DAY! -

Their nervous face..

dennis n rachel =)

Meet Nobita from doraemon! =D haha. jkjk.

This is Kok Huah! =)

tey tey.. :)

=))

Mariam.. She so pretty!

Us, waiting for our results!

Cherlyn aka tummy! she treat me like mei mei one.. haha..

ashman! one of my first few friends in a-lvls..

The cool Alyssa =)

The sweet michelle!

And then kok huah and joy followed rachel and i to timesquare.. and..

ahhhh! bought a new bag! i loveeeeee this baaaaag! it took me 2 hrs to decide whether i shud or shud not!

My awesome new shoes!

=D! nice kan nice kan?!

then at night, Yin kuen, Kim and I went to the famous Maybank Nasi lemak! =D

Thanks for the treat Yin kuenn! =))))

And bits and pieces of my scotch brite journey! =)

The truck we traveled in.

Jing hui,Suzanne,Me! :)

The awesome tmn connaught pasar malam night!

YK, Me, Sam!

meet jack! One of the first few people i knew in the company. from supervisor, he became a friend. =)

What an awesome journey.. =) i had loads of fun! i'm so blessed to have experienced such an amazing and fun journey!

And.. *drumrolls~!* let me introduce you to some new close friends!

First up, Meet Michael!

He has been a really really good friend to me.. And for some reason, the 3 times my car broke down, he was there with me. haha! ahhh.. God's blessing. =) first met him, because of work. later on, found out that we have quite a few mutual friends! what a small small world.. =) Super happy to have met also because He's not your ordinary guy! hahahahaa.. guess what?! He actually likes watching those love love chic flick enchanted rapunzel kinda movie weih! hahahahahahaa.. and like me, he thinks paying to scare urself in the cinema is quite.. *cough*. I shall not offend anyone.. =X =P and he is one of the few guy friends i know that actually shops like me! lololol.. i take HOURS to shop. i dont shop alot. but before i buy something, i'd make sure that i've the best bargain there is to be found before purchasing anything! so u can imagine how long i usually take to shop,when i do shop. =P So yup! really blessed to have met such a friend! I honestly feel like i've an amazing bunch of friends.. i really do. I never fail to feel blessed for all these amazing people in my Life.. =)

Secondly! Meet Chester! =)

I first met him in my college's prom last year! =) didn't really talk much then, but all i remember is that he danced funny. hahahaha! sorry chester. im sure u've improved.. =) u just somehow,left tht impression la! =X hahaa.. slowly slowly, got to know him more because of Kim. and we hung out more and more and more.. and u know what? He's such a nice guy and such a good friend la. =) im serioussss! hahaa he super caring and all.. Chester, if ur reading this, pls dont kembang ah.. Pui! =P but yeah la, he's one of the many friends that i really thank God for.. He's the kind of friend, that is ever ready to help you,whenever he can. first person to have ever made mooncake for me too! hahahaa.. i dont like mooncakes actually.. but his one , nice la. =D! thanks for being there when we needed help chester! we really appreciate you. thanks for always being there. =)

And i think the whole world already knows you la Kim. i mean, who doesn't?! =) ;)

So yeah! i've been meeting quite alot of new friends recently, but i've become close to the 2 people up there lately. They're just so nice,so caring and such good friends! i wouldn't trade them for any other Hot guy, If there is one. Or will i? *wink wink!* Nyahahahahaha~! =PPPPP!

- Family Dinner! -

Ah sun Jie and Qu Ann jie jie !

Qu ann jie jie is my aunt's bestie. knew her since i ws a kid! she ws one of the Miss Malaysia last time! she super tall wei.. when i stand beside her i feel like a hobbit =S

Aiyoh so cute la! =)

Yap kar kit!

AHHHH~! SO CUTEEE! XD!

Yap Kar Joon! Kar kit's lil bro

I think i seriously have a talent in making babies pose with me! LOL!

Ahhhh.. Longan my love! =)!

My.. niece? hahaa..

My red lobster uncle! and Chivas not nice. Dislikes! so bitter.. taste weird.. =S

- CHC's 10th Anniversary and Building dedication! -

My CG last time when i went to CHC.. =)

Leena! =)

- Kim's 20th Birthday! @ Look Out Point! -

Baskin Robbin's Ice cream Cake! =)

A night and a view to remember. =)

I SLY KOJL!

- Merdeka Day = 31st = Baskin Robbins! -

Love him so much! =)))

but he let me smell his armpit! ISH! notty notty josh!

But i'll still love you la.. =))))

Sissy.. =)

SO YUP!

this has been my busy busy August! and the start of my september was even more busy!

but everything was worth it in the end.

Kim called me at 3am plus.. to tell me she reached London edy! when she called, all of a sudden, she felt so much closer again! Was so happy to hear her voice again.. =) And we texted a while. Suddenly feel as if she's back here in malaysia! hahahaa..

Aiyoh i miss her untill i'm having twin withdrawal symptoms la..

Yday i was so tired, right after college i straight away knock out all the way till 7pm. Halfway napping, lil bro called me. i dont even know how i answered his call. i was SOOO TIRED.!

B : Hey Kah May, Later can fetch me from tuition at 10pm?

Me: Ahhh.. okok i will tell kim..

B: tell kim? for what?

Me: kkkk.. i will tell kim..

B: Tell kim for what?! Ehh what are you talking about? where are you?!

Me: I'm at your place la..

B: your place? DUDE! what u mean? U mean you are at home isit? Oi you know who you talking to anot?! *got pissed* what you talking about man?!

Me: *suddenly realize it's my lil bro and not kim's bro* Ahh kk i will fetch u at 10pm. Why pa cant fetch u?

B: coz he cannot.. so ok ah?! u fetching me ah?

Me: Started mumbling some nonsense..

B: *super annoyed edy*

Me: ehh call me later la.. i just woke up i dont know what i'm talking about.. *using up all my energy just to talk*

B: *Hang up*

LOL!

SEE HOW MUCH I MISS YOU TWIN?!

i thought i was napping in her house and she hasn't left malaysia yet.. hahaha. Funny la me.. xD

Anyways, HAPPY MALAYSIA DAY fellow Malaysians!

Despite how we have our different opinions about the political state in our country, I really do think that We should be really thankful to be a malaysian. =) I know i am. I wouldn't want to be born in any other country. Our weather sometimes super hot! but we have rain on an often basis as well. We dont have earthquakes all the time. And we dont have volcano disasters. We're just really fortunate and blessed! So try to Love our country a lil more? =P up to you. But i know i love my country. And hopefully, in future, i'd be able to make a difference, Somehow.

xoxo.!

And the 14th came, Just like that.

2011-09-15T20:32:00.001+08:00

Hello all..

i've been very busy for the past few weeks because i've been spending heaps of time with my bestfriend. If you dont already know, she got a scholarship to King's College for 2 years! and so, yesterday, on the 14th of September, she flew off to London.

I've been staying over at her place for the past week to just, spend time with her. Be there for her if she needs any help and all. It was quite a difficult process for me, preparing myself for her departure to UK for a whole year till i'd see her next. You see, we are not the ordinary friends who are close and update each other once in a while. We're practically like family, and we talk almost everyday,we tell each other almost everything and we're just very very close. By God's grace, we've been able to spend heaps of time together for the past 2 years! sometimes we see each other almost everyday because of college or sleepovers, etc. Before this, for some reason, we are ALWAYS so far apart. But that's the reason why this friendship is so amazing. =) no matter how far the distance, we constantly grew closer and closer, each day. so yeah, You can imagine how difficult it was, to prepare from this momentary separation. She has always been the only person i really confide in, in almost every matter. And vice versa for her. and that's why when the 14th drew nearer, truckloads of questions like " Who am i going to turn to when i cannot turn to her? " Last time she was just a phone call or sms away, but now, she's miles away and skype would have to do, for now. so thoughts like these have been running through my head eversince august.. it has been a whole month of thoughts about to future. anyways, i got fed up of worrying and thinking so much about the future. because its something i have no control over. But i wont deny that such questions still pops into my head, even at this very moment.

lol so yeah, tried to spend as much time. Helped her pack, get ready, etc.

If you knew me, you'd know that it takes alot for me to cry.
i hardly cry, especially in public.
i've never experience crying after watching a movie. the closest i got to, was only teary eyes for a while and then i'd be completely fine after that. hahaha.. "Heart of Stone", my aunt usually calls me that. LOL. because quite alot of times when we watch super touching movies, she'd be crying but i wouldn't even have teary eyes. i dunno why la.. i just dont cry that easily.

On the day of departure, everyone asked me if i'd cry when she was leaving. hahaha honestly? I HAD NO IDEA! i really did not .. But yea la, i cried at the very last moment. =P I've never cried when departing from someone before at the airport. hahaa so twin! be honored la. =) i really thought i wasn't going to cry because my eyes were completely dry,while everyone else was crying and hugging and all. ahahah..but when she was giving her last goodbye hugs.. as i watched her hug the rest, this feeling started developing in my chest. u know, that feeling u get in your chest when u had the worst day ever, or when u just feel REALLY sad and u just need a long and silent hug? yeah, i started getting that, plus a very heavy heart. and the question " who am i going to turn to? who am i going to turn to? who am i going to turn to?" kept playing in my head like a broken record. So when it was finally my turn, i hugged her so tightly,hoping that feeling would go away.. and she was going on and saying stuffs like "you take care and... etc" the minute i answered her and the tighter i hugged her, suddenly, tears flooded my eyes and it was streaming down my face like some tsunami! HAHAHA. OH MAAAAAAAN... sighs. and Kim went, "OMGOSH U're CRYING!" hahahahahahahahaha...aiseh ... and she was like, MY TWIN CRIED FOR ME!! hahahaha.. =) thats how much i'm going to miss you, you silly girl.

so yup, crazy tiring day yesterday la.. and my eyes were so puffy and dry..
but everyone, her family and her friends were really nice to me..and caring.
everyone kept asking if i was okay and all because they knew how hard it was for us to part,seeing how crazy close we are. =)

Twin, To Our Next Phase. =)
i love you very very much!
remember what i said about twilling ah!
if not i'd really go to UK and kidnap all your books then you know. *serious stare!*
hahaa..

I.. SLY!
xoxo.!

How was Life before facebook and msn?

2011-09-11T23:34:00.002+08:00

Hey all! have you ever wondered how life was before facebook,friendster and msn came about? before ICQ even.. if u even know what ICQ is.. hahahaa..

i've no idea why but i've been thinking alot today.. about so many things.
so many random questions keep flooding my mind!

Lets start with facebook.
Have u noticed how facebook has impacted our lives? how it has affected so many people in so many ways? i guess we're all well aware of the pros of facebooks.. but have u noticed its cons? Society has learnt to be more and more open about things, including malaysians. we all used to be pretty closed minded once. And i personally think that some people over share sometimes. dont you think so? They over share their personal life with the whole world till sometimes conflicts arise coz of the info overload. i know and understand that this generation is one that express alot compared to other generations. But i guess, sometimes, some things are meant to be kept private? Its really saddening to see the amount of friendship conflicts, relationship break-ups occuring all because of conflicts arising from facebook. petty things. REALLY petty things like..

BF/ GF. :

-Post up a picture of him/her with another guy/girl. = jelousy
-Changes profile picture to a solo picture or a picture with another person = argue.
-Guy posting alot on ur gf's wall. = U confront. = argue..

i mean all of this is so dumb la. seriously. =.=
U may deny this, but if you observe, many couples argue coz of facebook related things. And some couples just feel a need to publicize their lovey dovey mushy. Dont get me wrong, i dont see anything wrong with that. it is after all your profile and your life. But the problem sets in when they bf/gf stops being so mushy and sweet and lovey online.. and suddenly one party starts to feel like u love him/her less. at that point, i smack my forehead and go AIYOH.! or rather other people starts to worry because u guys are not as sweet online anymore. or someone who likes ur bf/gf feels super hurt when they see ur lovey dovey-ness. or people start gossiping and talking behind ur back because they dont like what they see and all that jazz la. but then again, whether u want to care about wht people think is up to you.

i guess the main point is that, it is sad to see so many friendships and relationships and peoples lives revolving SO MUCH around facebook that they forget how to appreciate the other beautiful things in life. sometimes i feel that facebook is becoming too overrated and is taking up SO MUCH of my time that i feel like completely shutting down my fb account. but of course, that hasn't happen just yet. i dont know la, facebook is like such a big part in most of our lives nowadays that i sometimes try to recall Life before facebook. How was it like? what did i do with my time instead? hehs. we're always so excited or always wondering, " eh did anyone comment on my status or pictures or videos? did xyz reply my wall post? " and u just spend so much time looking at other people's statuses.. what they're doing now, what they did, where they are, their point of view on something.. hahaha dunno la. no right or wrong. and sometimes, it actually kills conversations in real life with your friends because when you're about to tell them something, they go " Oh yeah i know. i saw your facebook status. " then u go.. okay... *looks around* LOL.

but anyways, i gotta give it up for the advance in communication. i guess its pretty useful if we know what should be our priority prior to facebook and all these network stuffs. and if we know that we should set such boundaries. And oh ya! u know, come to think of it, what if facebook and blogger never existed? then friends around wouldn't have the pleasure of updating themselves on your current situation. If so, do you think FB and blogger have discouraged friends and family to make effort to actually ask you how you are, meet up with you, and all? because information is everywhere! its like they're being spoon fed with truckloads of information.. do you think these networking stuffs has robbed us from spending more quality time with our friends and family because they feel that, oh, so this and this is going on with her.. and because u already know, u dont have to ask or i dunno... talk to them? they just read and go " I see.. " LIKE U ALL LA. hahaha .. u all who come and read my blog without saying a word! Hmmph! Come and go like the wind. >=(

so yeah loads of questions lah.
but anyways i've decided to try and cut down my time spent on facebook.
Sometimes i even wonder why i still have facebook la.
so many eyes watching me. sometimes its so scary because the people u least expect to know your latest up to date happenings actually knows every single thing. *shivers*

and i was also going all crazy on the questions on usage of words by today's generation. hahaa.. seriously.. but i'll save that discussion for the next entry. gotta sleep early tonight! first Criminal Law class tomorrow! =) want to be alert! =P and attentive. hahaa.. so i'll just share with you some of my statuses and questions posted. Leave you to do your thinking for now. =)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

You know, i realize how this generation likes to sum up a whole sentence into just 1 word. Or rather likes expressing themselves with just 1 word. ie: Chillax ! Emo ! F***! FML ! =.=... We're not very expressive with words huh?
And i dont get this : " OMGOSH! I've a pimple on my nose! FML ! " =.=........seriously?

Its just that, i see all of these going around.. small thing ni, FML.. fml fml fml.. =.=..... Thats a pretty sad life wei.. every lil thing impacts ur life THAT greatly.. or rather affects ur life THAT easily..
lol tht ws just an example to show hw lil a pimple is and yet they go ohhh fml ! hahaa so annoying la.. no offence. i just think people should appreciate and treasure life so much more. in other words right, when their nails get chipped off, or when they get a pimple they go Screw my life.. To me, thts like saying.. Screw my life, my life is over because I've a pimple. =.=...........

Why do people curse when they get angry? Why do YOU feel like cursing when you are angry? How does profanity make us feel better?

‎"Swearing is such a common response to pain that there has to be an underlying reason why we do it " - Richard Stephens. My exact same question.

u know, i actually think that sentences like IM FURIOUS dont have that much impact compared to swear words like F**! because this generation fails to appreciate the weight each spoken word carries. No?

like the word damn. last time, in olden days, if u use the word "Damn!" its like the way we feel about the F word now. But nowadays, "Damn" has been fitted into our vocabulary so often that it becomes an Okay word to say or to use. i guess the power of words are taken to lightly nowadays that we use or say words without thinking. haha. like, the word damn actually means to condemn someone to doom, or as bad, worthless.. but we always go.. Its so damn hot today.. " Did you see that girl dancing?! she's damn good!" hahaa.. maaaaaan.. *guilty*

Hahaha.. Interesting fact! Words like Swag and Dope's original definition has totally nothing to do with dance.. But because of the way these words are used in present times, They have therefore, an Urban Dictionary explaining its meaning, Now. Heh,its funny hw the way people use words can alter its original meaning.

Dope Smoker.

Original Meaning : drugged smoker.

Present meaning : Cool smoker.

maaan.. hahaa..

So yeah! i know its quite random and messy but, there you are.. hahaa.. i actually googled some of my questions and the answers i found were pretty interesting.. =) more on this soon!

GOODNIGHT PEOPLE! =D
Have a great week! =)

My Mini Hollie at Sunway. =)

2011-09-11T00:59:00.000+08:00

Hey all! =) rmb me talking abt my mini hollie? haha.. well, mum won some tickets and got a free stay at the Sunway Resort. =) So we had a mini hollie as a family..

Joshua's ability to pose different poses in every single picture amazes me! Now, u just HAVE to believe me when i say, I had no part in this! hahaha i did not teach him kays.. he is just a born poser! xD really la.. 2 yrs old only.. know hw to do diff poses edy.. amazing! haha..

and so ! we had the pleasure of chilling at the swimming pool. my first time swimming with josh!

Meet my eldest sister, Melissa. =)

The family! =) minus,Benson.

Poser or what man?! =P =P =P

Was so happy to see mummy swim. She hardly swims! EVER!

And here is baby Maegan.. Man.. when she grows up, she's gonna be soooo pretty! her eye lashes curls up!

Haha.. Josh so cute la.. =))))))

Then Kim came over on the last night to chill.. =) and meet my nephew and niece! Guess what?! Josh likes her!! =DDDD!

But he started role playing with her after a while.. in this picture.. he went " Okay lah~! " He mimic the exact tone and words kim said to him weih! hahahaa.. but he did it with a "rolls eyes" emotion!

Aihs so cuteee! hahahahaa...

Thank you so much for coming over twin! ISLY!

And on the last day, i had the chance to try their breakfast.. =) I think, i kinda wasted the breakfast coz i couldn't eat much. hahahaa..=P i warned them! but they still asked me to go with lil bro.. so okay lah.. hahaa...

Blessings from God. =)

Talking about blessings, Mum also won free entrance tix to sunway lagoon! =D so lil bro and i went.

And the first thing we saw at the wild life park? a Skinless mouse! creepyyy weihh..

right timing! check out the mouth =)

We thought those birds were statues. Apparently, Not! hahaha they are VERY REAL ..

And i also saw alot of animals i've never seen or even knew they existed!

The super cute squirrel! wouldn't stop scratching the glass.. hahahaa..

And it was my first time seeing a real life swan! they're so beautiful.. =)))))

actually, come to think of it, it was my first time seeing alot of animals in real life! like the swans, the skunks, an owl, eagle, deer, and so many more!

And u know, when they say wild life, they really mean it weih! hahaha birds like these and turkeys were roaming around freely!

Super cute bear! *melts* loveeee bears!

ahaha guess what this iguana is called? GREEN iguana. contradicting much? =P

looks more yellow than green to me =P

and i spent quite a while watching the tigers. they are such interesting animals. really. =) first time heard a tiger roar! in real life.. hahaa.. so cool!

A ride we did not get to sit. =( sadly, the weather wasn't all that sunny tht day. it ws drizzling from 12pm all the way till 6pm =( boo ! so we couldn't sit on the roller coaster either. mum sure super happy. sighs.. boo-ness!

so our last ride was none other than the ferris wheel =)

Had a really great time at sunway lagoon! =) i guess the only let down was the weather. bro was so excited to try the tomohawk and roller coaster. hahaha so u can imagine his face when we sat on the ferris wheel instead. xD

More pictures to come!
be patient dear readers!
Have a great weekend! =)

xoxo.!

Awww! =)

2011-09-06T02:52:00.000+08:00

awww mansss! i take back what i said about feeling how i felt when i had sore eyes man! I've such loving and crazie friends larh.. they know im sick and contagious and yet they are so eager to come visit me and all. I feel so loveeeed! =')

and and and did i ever mention how awesome my bestfriend is?
She totally turned my night 360 degrees from sad to all smiles!

Ily ily ily isly KOJL!
I cant wait for wednesday! ahhh =))))))

God is amazing. =)
I've not many extra spots. and i've no ulcers. so thts good. =)
hope i have a speedy recovery! i cant wait to be back on track.

and a Golden retriever called Mindy just stole my heart! ahhhhhhhhhhhh~!
i want a golden retriever nowwwww! wish i had one.. Ahhhh..
terus melt the minute i saw her!
Mixed feelings now! Feel like cuddling and hugging her terus on wed. Boo.. =(
but nvm, at least i get to c her on wed mwahahahaa.. twin! hug her kao kao for me kays?!
jealous! i'll take good pictures for you.

xoxo.!

Detour.

2011-09-04T23:25:00.001+08:00

Bloggie! ahhh..

These 2 weeks.. weeks that i cannot afford any sickness or any of tht sort! i have so many plans.. degree starts tomorrow.. But guess what? The Hand Foot and Mouth disease decided to visit me.. =( Sighs.. Been getting hurt alot lately and i seriously have NOOOOO idea why!? Twisted my knee.. deprived me from dancing.. got this really small but really painful cut under my index finger nail..no idea hw i got that all of a sudden.. the minute it kena water ni.. super painnnn! =( u know, its really ironic how sometimes the smallest cuts are actually more painful compared to big wounds. like ur skin peeling near ur finger nail for example. Pain weihs tht one! then yday i had like.. slight fever and body aches.. and blisters on my feet.. but nvr thought of Hand foot and mouth disease..

nephew got it... then sis got it.. And when nephew was here i was pretty much with him all the time..so its no wonder why i contracted the disease. heh.. Dont worry bout me tho,im fine. reaaaaallyy. =) really am fine.. its just that,i had alot of plans planned out for this week and next. but everything went out of place coz I dont want to infect anyone else. This disease will infect kids easily. adults, lesser chance of getting it. But still, i guess i shouldn't risk my classmates.. or anyone else for tht matter. so yeah. gonna be staying home for at least 3 days and i'll be back on track. i know, to most of you, You'd feel like.. Awww its okay.. ur just gonna be missing a few classes and a few plans canceled. but i guess only certain people would understand that, that is just the surface of things and there are alot of things or reasons why i felt so sad when this happened to me. sighs. =( but its okay.. i wouldn't expect any of you to understand anyways..Dont get me wrong. thanks for ur concerns really. its just that, i'd rather these few people know why im feeling the way i feel. and i dont really feel like talking about it much. Im just glad that at least 1 person knows exactly... How i am feeling. and i Thank God for that. it comforts me in a way to know that there is someone, who understands exactly how i feel and why i feel this way.

So yeah, I wont deny the fact that i'm really bumped out about all this happening, at this particular time. I really am.. But i guess there is nothing much i can do about it.. and that sometimes its best to put others safety first than ur feelings and wants. But i really hate this feeling lorh. Sighs. The same feeling i felt when i had sore eyes. felt like a disease and every1 have to be away from u and some go like "Ahh stay awayyy" they dont say it la. but they're expressions and all , i feel it. =( but its okay. Understandable.

So yups. No worries. i have a strong immune system, apparently. Coz i fought off the fever yday and body aches without meds. and my spots are quite lil. and i dont have ulcers in my mouth. so thank God for that. =) and thank God for like the best friend anyone could ever had who put a light bulb in my heart. and Made me become dreamy.. ISH U AH. hahaha.. haihs.. Love u KOJL. *dreamy face*

Hope i get better soon!
thanks for all the prayers and smses!
xoxo.!

Just Married!

2011-09-02T15:09:00.000+08:00

omgosh! i Just watched Just Married ! its such a nice movieeeeeeeeeeee! =)))))))))))))))))))))

And the meaning it brings? beautiful.
So real. What exactly happens to most newly wed couples.

Old movies are unbeatable. seriously.
:)

xoxo.!

A Day Of Feelings, Words cannot seem to express.

2011-09-02T00:09:00.000+08:00

Today, i had a really good day.
Though, i've been feeling so weird the whole day..
its like, one of those days where u feel u cannot catch up with time. As if time is waaaaay ahead of you.. and everything that is happening, Is on fast forward mode. And everything is just moving so fast! before you know it, everything is done and over with and the day has come to an end. But i still feel as if i'm still stuck somewhere in the middle of the day..

It is so hard to describe the feelings that i am feeling right now. Somehow, the right words cant seem to fall into place. Heh..But seriously, the feeling i've been feeling the whole day, is something like this.

You, standing in the middle of a busy and crowded train station or shopping mall. Ur the only stagnant one, but everyone else is moving SOOO FASST around you.

that kind of feeling.
i didn't have a bad day, in fact, it was a good one.
But, everything just moved so fast today.
And the reason why i'm feeling so .. weird, is because, in my mind, whatever that happened today, keeps on playing over and over again in fast forward mode in my head. haha u know what? i should prolly stop trying to explain what i'm feeling right now. I think its pointless. LOL.

But yeah, its cause i'm feeling this way, i feel happy that i made people happy today. I See them, Happy. But the weird thing is, Today, i cant seem to share that happiness with them. I want to, but i just dont feel it too? But i covered it all with a smile. =) because tht is how i want to feel. But somehow, my smiles today all felt so.. empty. An Empty Smile. hehh.. Hope tomorrow i will be back to normal.
All of this is just plain weird.
And recently, my mind has been flooded with thoughts.
And now new questions of, "Whats wrong with me? Whats going on with me?" is cramping into my mind. hahaa.. AIYOHHHHHHHHHHHH! GAAAH.

Anyways happy birthday baby brother! HAPPY SEXY SIXTEEN! ;)
i hope you had a good day today! i hope you're happy.
Love you loads.. =)

PS: I got a kiss from my lil brother today. Awww.. =)

xoxo.!

Taylor Swift - Sparks Fly

2011-08-31T00:01:00.006+08:00

The way you move is like a full on rainstorm
And I'm a house of cards
You're the kind of reckless
That should send me runnin'
But I kinda know that I won't get far
And you stood there in front of me
Just close enough to touch
Close enough to hope you couldn't see
What I was thinking of

Drop everything now
Meet me in the pouring rain
Kiss me on the sidewalk
Take away the pain
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile
Get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down
Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile

My mind forgets to remind me
You're a bad idea
You touch me once and it's really something,
You find I'm even better than you imagined I would be.
I'm on my guard for the rest of the world
But with you I know it's no good
And I could wait patiently but I really wish you would...

Drop everything now
Meet me in the pouring rain
Kiss me on the sidewalk
Take away the pain
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile
Get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down
Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile

I run my fingers through your hair and watch the lights go wild.
Just keep on keeping your eyes on me, it's just wrong enough to make it feel right.
Lead me up the staircase
Won't you whisper soft and slow?
I'm captivated by you, baby, like a firework show.

Drop everything now,
Meet me in the pouring rain,
Kiss me on the sidewalk,
Take away the pain
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile.
Get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down
Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile

The sparks fly...
Oh, baby, smile...
The sparks fly..

-------------------------------------------

So in love with this song! ahhhhh~! =)))
My lil bro la! keep singing this song with his guitar..
Now this song has been playing in my head like a broken record!
was even singing it without realizing when i was jogging, driving..

I feel better now. Dont worry too much..
Its a situation i cannot control..
Nothing much i can do about it but adapt to whatever tht is happening. =(
I could always rebel. but then again, I cant. Heh.. i'm just not someone who would.
I could, but i wouldn't. i choose not to.

So? i deal with it by letting out my frustration and stress through jogging today! =D lol.. but honestly, the questions keep flowing through my thoughts. the why why why questions. Sighs. and after all those thoughts, it always ends with an "Oh well.."

But the thought of knowing that there are alot of people who really sayang me out there keeps my heart smiling.

If only i had multiple long long hugs though.
That would be so niceeeee. :)

And this, is where you remind yourself that YOU control how u want to end your day.

xoxo.!

If only..

2011-08-30T17:26:00.000+08:00

If only i had my own room and my own space.
How Suffocating.

Gonna go jog it out.

Silent Long Hugs.

2011-08-30T00:55:00.000+08:00

For some reason, I've a very heavy heart now.

I could really use a long silent hug.
Sighs.

A Special day. =)

2011-08-28T02:07:00.002+08:00

Today, 28th August 2011 is a special day to me.
It marks the day Kimberley Ong Jing Ling came into this world 20 years ago.
It marks as well, a friendship that is dear to my Heart. The special number 2!

Dear Twin,
19 December 2004 was the very first day i met you.
The very first day you came into my Life.
And eversince, I've never once regretted your presence in My Life.
When people ask me what a best friend is to me, I tell them one word, Kim.
You twin, you're the true definition of a best friend in my vocabulary.
Looking at how close we are right now, Just leaves me speechless.
Because what we have right here, is Amazing.
Distance did not affect us. It only made us closer.
We both started this friendship with the same thought, "Momentary."
I guess we both thought wrong. =)

Nuff said.
Happy, Blessed Birthday Kimberley Ong Jing Ling.
I Love You. =)

2 , And many more to come.! =)
Only God knows what the future will bring, And only time can tell.
But whatever the future may bring, I know for sure that this was no coincidence.
And I thank God for that. =))

♥

26th August 2011.

2011-08-27T02:47:00.000+08:00

Coolest Shades.!

Pork Noodles on a Rainy Day.!

A Secret Getaway.!

A very Special cake.!

The most loved Cendawan Goreng.!

Grandma cooked my favourite Baked Beans and Luncheon Meat.!

Watched the coolest movie ever! - The Dark Knight !

And thus, An Amazing Friday, kept close to the heart, and a day not to be forgotten!

=)))))))))))))))

I Loved Today! =')

THE DARK KNIGHT!

2011-08-27T02:16:00.000+08:00

MAN OH MAN OH MAN OH MAAAAAAAAAAN~!

I just watched THE DARK KNIGHT!
and guess what?! IT WAS LIKE.. TOTALLY AWESOMEEEEE!!!!
Ahhhhh~! i cant believe i've waited this long to watch such a GOOD MOVIE!
Now i understand why everyone was so crazy about it when it was out in the movies!
it TOTALLY deserves such attention and craze!

The plot, the graphics, the ACTORS and ACTRESSES! ESPECIALLY THE JOKER! ohhh maaaaaaan! He was soo.. soo.. sooo.. BELIEVABLE! I cant believe still that He is the same guy who acted in " 10 Things I Hate About You " ! The way he talks, the way he wets His Lips as He talks.. MAAAAAAN~! hahahaa... oh boyyy.. I totally deserved that look from you when i told you i didn't watch DARK Knight before Yin Kuen. =)

Terima Kasih banyak-banyaks!
For getting me to FINALLY watch The Dark Knight.
I applauded the minute the credits started rolling..
even though i was alone.. and it was 2am.. and everyone else in my hse was asleep. HAHAA..

oh goshh.. How refreshing! No offense, but honestly? I've not come across such good movies recently. The current movies are Nice, but not good enough to go crazy over!

Two thumbs up! Three even! if i had three.. =P
=) TO EVERYONE ELSE OUT THERE, if you have NOT watched this movie, Anticipate the "Look" from me!

xoxo.!

Mixed feelings!

2011-08-25T11:34:00.000+08:00

This morning.. i woke up feeling a jumbled up of feelings..
So many things have been going through my thoughts lately..
Thoughts of the future.. something i cannot control..
And i know we should always live by the day as it is..
For tomorrow may never come.. But still..
I guess u cant help but sometimes think of the future..
Whats going to happen next? What am i to do?

And i guess this is the part where i should practice Proverbs 35 : 3 . to Lean not on my own understanding and to trust in the Lord my God with all my Heart and all my Soul.

I've yet to learn to Depend fully on God. To fully rely on God.

Pichas! :)

2011-08-25T00:55:00.003+08:00

Pictures from August! :)

haha.. Tadaaa~! any idea what this is? This was one of the days where i had no time to eat breakfast and so i asked the mamak shop to put my roti canai in this plastic.. well, he was suppose to put a lil dull.. But.. yeaaaah.. hahahaa..BANJIR WEIH! i only managed to eat one packet.. jelaks! hahaha.. but yeah.. Its a good idea kay! =D

And and and and and! i finally got myself new sun glasses! and finally got one with Full 400 UV protection! =) And guess how much i got it for?! RM30 ni! its actually rm158 i think.. but coz there was this deal where You purchase spectacles from em and u can get and choose any shades in the shop for rm30! YES! ANY SHADES! regardless of the price! =) So yup! =D! got it in The Mines.

Haha.. Kleenex days.. =) Zane and I ! :)

The last day of Kleenex! Michael and I =))!

KLCC's Park! never knew it was THAT HUGE! and never knew they had a dreamland of playgrounds! the playgrounds are HUGE! if i were a kid still, I'd be delirious! finally got to explore the park.. didn't know it was so niceee.. =) but desa park city beats the KLCC park tho.. =P

And this here, is the swimming pool at 3K! i've always heard about it.. bt i've never really been to 3K. finally got to see the place! How can people not love swimming?! ish.. swimming is so niceee.. so calming..

And this was one of the days when i was SUPER TOMATO! hahaha.. No idea why.. but i was super tomato the whole day.. Okay la i know i'm always tomato-fied but but but i was especially red that day.. haha..

And oh ya! i got this new pink baju from Padini! =) so happie! it was on sale, and i got it for a really cheap price! =D i finally have something very pink in my closet. =)

And meet my couzie! Wai Kuen.. =)

And the pretty Joanne! =)

Haven't met up with them in 2 years i think! super long timeee! So glad we met up that day y'all.. =)

We went to The Apartment in KLCC.. Finally got to try the food in The Apartment! =) Honestly? I still prefer Chilis! didn't quite like the food there tbh..

Ahhh.. =) The pretty twin towers.. Come to think of it, i think this is the second or third time i've ever been to KLCC at night..

We spent the night walking around the KLCC park after eating.. haha walk off those fats! =P and chatting away.. Good times! :)

And guess where we headed to right after that?!

*drumrolls!*

LOOK OUT POINT! =D

It was just a crazy idea of mine.. but in the end we ended up at look out point ! hahhaa.. oh maaaaan! the first and last time i went there was on my 18th birthday! =) Being the person who appreciates such views, i was all Smiles that night!! =)))))))

*dreamy face* =))))))))

*Slurrrps~!* Vanilla Shake! =D

Love this candid shot.. =)

Had a super great day that day! =) definitely a day to rmb! i had meatballs in the morning, bought pretty clothes from padini at rm9,rm13 ! had a nice time strolling the klcc park at night, finally tried the food at The Apartment, and manage to go to Look Out Point for the second time and this time, Had a better view! =)))

I slept and woke up with a smile that night! =))

And yet, another awesome saturday with the bestfriend! =))))

Brought her to Desa Park City again.. to see the super cute doggies and to see the sunset.. =)

Beautiful..

Couldn't help but take a pic of this family.. =) what a nice sight.. =) paparazzi me! =P

Then we went to have some cooling stuffs after our mini picnic.. and i saw this poster and read out loud.. "HAVE YOU SHAVED?" and suddenly i went.. "Crap! wht did i just say?!" LOL! super weird LA! hahahahaa...

Vanilla oreo chocolate chip! =D

But it was okay only.. =S

Anyways, here is a sneak peak of half of my august.. =)) hope you enjoyed the pictures! =) nice places with such great people.

Blessed, I am.

xoxo.!

What a nicesh dayyyy.. =)

2011-08-24T20:18:00.000+08:00

Had a really good day today! and yesterday as well!
Watched Rise of the Planet of Apes yday! been long since i've watched a movie.. =) and guess wht?! The popcorn people gave me a free Spy-Kids torchlight, siap with batteries! hahaha.. so cun! =D

and and and if you're wondering how the movie was..
IT WAS GOOD! =) although its quite .. whats the word? scary? ironic? Nah its just that at the start of the movie, the chimps were CHOOO CUTEEEE! but at the end they were scary and wild and dangerous. O.O! heh..i guess humans are equally the same! U can love someone so much and suddenly hate tht person SOOO MUCH! AND MAAAAN! i still have problems watching movies in GSC larhs.. dislikes! =(

TGV FTW! =DD!

GSC chairs gimme neck pains.. =( and TGV popcorn beats all the other cinemas man! for real! =)

Sho anyways! today was a really nice day larh.. even though i had to run errands and get alot of things done today, felt like it was a super chilled day ! Everything done without pressure.. without having to rush.. and best part? i kinda like the fact that i did all of these alone today.. haha..for some reason.. felt so nice and at peace.. Some alone time for myself. =D AND GUESS WHAT?! i realized that as much as i love the IKEA meatballs, my capacity is only up to 5! hahaha..today i makan lunch at 4pm..so was super hungry.. decided to order 10 meatballs for the first time, tiba-tiba, by the 6th meatball, i was like.. "maaaaaaaaaaaan..~! why did i order 10?!" hahahaa.. i guess 10 is too much meat for me.. really.. Im not really a meaty person.. =P not too much.. i think i can survive without meat. SERIOUSLY. hahahaha..

and and and my car has been giving me problems, AGAIN. =( boo..
hope it wont be too extreme.. cant really afford it atm. =/
And to me friends.. YESSSSS i've been getting enough sleep larhs.. =)
dun worry too much! love u guys lots!

xoxo.!

Done with work. =)

2011-08-23T01:12:00.000+08:00

hello! these pass few days have been crazieee!
so busy with work and church and dance and so many other stuffs!
i have been lacking sleep and all.. but im fine! no worries! =)
And yesssssh! like the title of this entry, work is finally done with.

Honestly? I AM SO BLESSED REALLY!
my jobs for the pass 2 months have been such awesome ones!
Mainly the Kleenex Roadshow and the Scotch Brite roadshow.
One of it? Going to primary schools everyday. And the other? going to ramamdan bazaars everyday! hahaha whats not to love about my two jobs?! the promoting for P&G and 3M were really stressful ones.. but i really thank God for allowing me to experience such awesome roadshows at work! haha.. =) and the best part? u travel around with the same team members every single day! and after a while, instead of work, it feels like a hang out more than work. AND YOU GET PAID! =D BUT of course, there are those Balik Kampung songs that i had to sing and danced to every single day, and repetitive stuffs that i had to mention everyday, but still, i've no complains about my pass few jobs lah. it has been a great journey.. with both the Kleenex team and the Scotch Brite team. =)

Dear Scotch Brite team members!
Jing Hui,Michael,Sam,Danny,Janet,
Thank you so much for being so patient and understanding.
Thank you for supporting me all the way even when i second guess my capabilities.
Thank you for all the encouragement and energy and smiles. =)
Thank you for respecting my decisions, and everything else even though i was the youngest among the rest of you.
Thank you for simply journeying with me throughout this Roadshow!
I couldn't have had a better team to lead and to work with. =)

So now that my working days are done with, for now..
This means that, CHILLING TIME BEGINS! =D
hahaha.. oh boyyy! i cant wait to pakai the bajus i've bought!
and the the the lovelay bags! weeeeee~~~! =))))
AND I STILL WANT MY CENDAWAN GORENG LARHS! =(
i miss the Shah Alam one weih.. the best one so far. haha.. aihs..
i had so much fun at the bazaars..! and my team had a great time laughing at me also. =.=!
but its okayyy, putting my muka aside, I was able to make them laugh n smile even when we were all so tired.. hahahaa.. good memories it shall be!

And friends! i'll be free only after 14th September though!
before that, i'd be pretty occupied with a few people.
Limited time to spend with them. =( Hope u understand!

xoxo.!

=D

2011-08-19T02:11:00.001+08:00

Hello people! a really short update.

Sorry for the emotional entries lately.
I'm okay. It's just that, i've been deep in thoughts lately..
and i guess, many random things have triggered memories..
and thus.. the entries. but anyways!

just a short update about.. now?
Well the Scotch brtie ramadan project has been getting better =)
really, i really Thank God for every single day..
and it just gets better and better. especially the pass 2 days.
the pass 2 days have been soooo smooth and so good.
God is really Good. i cant imagine myself getting through this challenge all by myself.
He may not be here physically, but He has definitely place many blessings in disguise. ie: the team i work with. or the weather, etc.

So yup! its has been a good week! =D
and i'll be done with work, completely, by the 23rd of Aug, hopefully by then.
and my degree will start on the 5th of Sept. and to those who dont already noe,
i'd be enrolling in the LLB University of London course in BAC. still the same college.
but i'll be continuing in Law. =) so yeps!
gonna chill for 2 weeks before i start my degree.. =P
till then, i'm really loving my Job. i think i'm putting on weight! OH NO!
or not? i have no idea. but because i work at the Ramadan Bazaars, i'm always surrounded my FOOD! hahaha and it has been a fun week getting to know so much more about the Ramadan bazaars and the type of food they sell. stuffs i never knew existed. and all my team members always tease me because of my very limited knowledge on these stuffs. HMMPH! hahahaha.. but its good la to learn more. Better late than never! =P

and oh maaaan... CENDAWAN GORENG IS AWESOME LA!
my fav thing abt the bazaar for now. hahaa.. =D

goodnight!
have a great weekend everyone!

Oh, Btw,

God gave us all a freedom of Choice. And whether you want to believe it or not, You determine how your everyday goes. Its all about your own perspective of things.

Celine :)

xoxo.!