Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Its all Good.

Today i got to see the moon from my window!
What a rare sight! The moon is normally on the other side of the house.
As i came back to my shell after a long long day.. about to let the curtains down.. There it was.. right before my eyes.. a full moon shining ever so bright and pretty.. =))

I stood there and smiled like an idiot for a good 2 minutes i think.. haha..
but really.. it was so beautiful..
Sights like these.. one of the simple things in life that makes me appreciate all the more my life on earth. *happysighs* =)

Also, lately, i started appreciating once more the joy and fun in having conversations with people. It can be just about anything.. but the very fact that i get to have such a relationship with such good people? I really treasure moments like these.. and conversations like these..

Today i got to spend more time with my course mates and uni mates after class. I may see them everyday but that doesn't necessarily mean that we are spending time with each other. I just felt so happy hanging out with them today.. it was good. Just like old times.

And i am also very happy that my family dinners with mum dad and lil brother is not just about eating but we actually have proper good conversations each time we sit down and have dinner together. So glad we're not like those families who sits at the dinner table together but isolates themselves with their gadgets instead of having and treasuring good fellowship. I guess not everyone can have this privilege of spending good time with family. It isn't always like this for my family either. It comes and go and so, I hold these moments close to my heart every time it comes.

Also, i was just thinking about how i am contented with how my life is at this very moment. I have almost everything i want. Almost. I may be waiting still for certain parts of my life to light up.. but at this very moment, i am contented. Of course, i may have new wants.. *haih all these new cars gadgets and all..so tempting. * but yeah.. hahaa.. ok la.. im happy with whatever i have now.

I AM drooling over the Ford Focus tho. What an amazing car!
argh. i saw one parked right in front of my uni today. Such beauty. =P

but i love my car la.
how many 20 year olds get to proudly say that they have their OWN car?
:D i am happy. the Ford Focus will come one day. Just not now.

God's timing.... is always.... always... Perfect.   : )

And so i will patiently wait for His timing..
to bring this amazing guy into my life..
to bring me to wherever He wants me to be..
to answer whatever prayers that are still left unanswered..

and etc.
Like i said, His timing is always..
Perfect.
xoxo.!

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Dear Aunty Rita,

" The body will eventually die but love never dies. So, if you miss me, hold on to the Love that i have left behind. Look for me in the people that i have poured my love to. "

You were always the loudest among all the aunties and uncles.
You were the strongest.
You were the most Active.
You were the most direct person i've ever met.
You were always young at heart despite the numbers going up up and up.
You always put the needs of other before yours.
You loved people and you always opened up your house for the family to reunite.
Even when you were sick, u always baked ur chocolate cake for us.
You kept that smile of your face despite the pain and suffering u had to go through.
You stayed strong for everyone else around you.
You fought hard for your life in the last few hours of your time here on earth.
And boy is it tough to take care of 5 Guys and recently, an addition of little Jayden making it 6!
Who would've ever thought that you would be the first to leave us so soon.. ='(

But we are all proud of you, Aunty Rita.
You fought hard and you have fought the good fight.
You're the strongest person in our eyes.

It was so difficult seeing my uncle and cousins cry their hearts out.. so many times.. tough strong men that i've never seen shed a tear.. it broke my heart to see them so torn and shattered.. it broke my heart further to see my popo and kongkong so sad.. Sad that they have to see their own child leave before them.

To see my mummy cry and cry because she lost her younger sister.
='((((((
I've not cried this badly in such a long time.
It was such a tough and rough week.
Today was her funeral..
a closure to this chapter..
Death in this lifetime is inevitable.
its all only a matter of time.. 
it can be anyone.. at anytime..

All the more reasons to appreciate even more the people around us.
To hold them close and treat them right.
To treasure every moment spent with them.
Take not, for granted, the people u see in your everyday life.
Only God knows what the future holds.

We all miss you dearly aunty Rita.
I hope you're in a better place now. Away from all the pain and suffering.
We love you, aunty Rita.

xoxo.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Silence.

In this time of grief and sadness...
with all that has been happening within my family..
I can't help but enter the 'keep to myself' period/moment.
I dont really have the mood/strength/energy to explain or express my feelings.
I dont really want to talk about it.
I dont really feel like talking for the matter.
Its so much easier in silence.

But with every death..
comes the reminder that Life is Fragile. Anything can happen to anyone at anytime.
I've had to deal with so many deaths recently.
Part and parcels of Life i guess.

Not to worry.
I've been through alot, for a girl my age.
None of us asks for bad things to happen in our lives.
But it happens and we'd just have to deal with it and embrace it.

xoxo.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Hi? :D

Yeeaaaaaah. so unlike me to NOT blog on my birthday.. hahaha..

guess i was just too busy to blog. Had a superrrrrr long day on my birthday. out at 7am back at 1.30am.. nooooo i wasn't partying the whole day.. i actually went for classes cell group and dance prac k. and of course.. celebrated here and there with alot of people as well.. now, you're prolly thinking how ONE person can do so many things in just ONE day!

ahahaha.. i also dunno how i do it sometimes.. how i get so busy.. sometimes i get so busy without me approving of it! It came to a point in time where the word 'busy' controlled me. I no longer had a say as to whether i want to be busy or not. I just am. somehow..someway.. no matter how hard i try to keep myself free. Has always been this way eversince.... no idea when.

but yeah, i'm really trying hard to just keep my commitments to studies and dance for now.
of course theres family friends and church. but yeah.. tryingggggggggggg!

anyways, i just wanna thank everyone who shared the 12th of October 2012 with me. =) it meant alot to me. All the wishes..calls..smses...msges...facebooks posts... twitter..whatsapp... etc... For all the prezzies.. love and care.. for the surprises!

haha.. i shall admit that no one has ever really succeeded in truly surprising me.
Why so? Cause i'm simply the best surprise planner in town! thats why! hahahahahaha~ =P
and cause i'm very observant.. to its quite difficult for ppl to sneak up surprises.. but i've been surprised before of course.. it is rare tho! rarely hardly succeeds!

but do know that whenever i smile when u guys surprise me.. it is NOT FAKE. I am truly sincerely happy.. the effort and thought that u guys put in to plan me a surprise is enough for me. =) More than enough in fact! =)) so once again! thank you my lovelies! All of you have been a great blessing in my life and i can only hope that i've been a blessing in yours as well. =)

In with the 2s, out with the 1s!
Dah tua? maybe. hahaha~

but whatever it is, i still find myself falling in love with dance more n more every single day.. =)) i'm so glad that this was not just some momentary fetish.. but truly.. a PASSION. I'm excited to see what else is in store for me in dance. cant wait for the concert!

HYPERACTIVE DANCE CONCERT! must come k?!
1st of December 2012, 8pm @ UCSI, cheras.

november is going to be a very stressful month preparing for the concert!
I call it, the Survival month!
literally. literally...

and i am.. really trying to sleep early! which is.. so hard to do, for me.
so goodnight!

xoxo.!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

True or false??

I've always held on to the principle to be true to yourself wherever you are..whoever you're with. I've always tried my best to be ONE person.. to be who i truly am whether i'm around my family..my friends..my fans.. or total strangers..

To be who i am..whether i appear to people online.. or in real life.

How i behave when i am in church..and when i'm outside..in the world..

Because i for one could never understand how some people can be so different both in person.. and online.. be it facebook,twitter,blogs,msn.. emails..

Of course, what you share/reveal to people depends on where they stand in your lives. But otherwise.. we should always try to be true to ourselves..because in the end of the day.. you're fooling no one but yourself. So stop having split identities!

which side are you on? and who do you want to be?
it's very unhealthy to have split personalities.. just so you know.
SO CHOOSE. stop carrying this burden of being two completely different person.
Either you're this or you're that. Isn't it tiring to be someone you're not when you're around people? So why not just be who you are and stop pretending? i was once there.. i acted differently when i was around my family and when i was around friends..

i think most of us tend to treat our family with less respect than we do to outsiders. Then again, it should have been the other way round. But no.. just coz they're family, we cant treat them according to our whims and fancies. And our excuse? "coz i'm comfortable with them and hence, i can reveal my true self. "

if that is so, why dont you reveal your 'true' self to your friends as well? why? is there something you dont like about how u behave at home? if so, then change it! change it and be just.. ONE person..with ONE personality and ONE identity. You're family deserves all the respect you give to your friends and especially to your friend's parents.. in fact, they deserve more.

it was then when i tried very hard to treat my family with more respect, love and care.
And i'm still trying.. i try everyday to be better than the person i already am. Sometimes my humanity let slip my not so nice side. But i'm trying still and that counts. Better than not trying and all..that is what makes the difference. =)

and another sensitive issue would be profanity. In real life.. in person.. they speak with no profanity or whatsoever.. but the minute they are on the internet.. BAAAAM! all the kadjsadhiuaduiqwuqhwd%$$&^*&())IUSajhfkwefiwj come out. Why la? why? i know sometimes it slips as well.. but again, its the part where you try not to that makes the whole difference.

so choose.
choose who you want to be.
Be true to yourself.. and stop pretending. No one likes pretenders. I know i dont.

xoxo.!




One simply does not forget easily.. a colorful event in her life.

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Thanksgiving.

We ought to learn to be more thankful for whatever we have.
We ought to highlight the good instead of the bad.
Give thanks in ALL that you do..
Give thanks for ALL that you have..
For it is GOOD to give thanks unto the Lord.. =)

Whenever something Bad happens.. stop..reflect.. and you'll see that there is always a good side to it.

ie: KTM delay.. = At least u dont have to walk. I know of people who have had to walk to get from one place to another despite the distance because they can't even afford to take the KTM.

Food sucks. = Its alright. At least you're stomach is full.

All we humans ever do is complain complain and complain.
Yes. I'm human and so i complain too.
But i'm trying not to do so.
Hence.. the reminder for myself.

Celine Yap Kah May.. In all you do.. in every circumstance that you are in..remember to always give thanks for there is always something to be thankful for. =)

Reminder for you reading this too!
Be thankful! =)

You only have one life. You gotta make it count!
whether big or small.. like Mother Teresa once said..

"Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with Great Love."
=)

I am thankful for the life that i have and i can't wait to see what else is in store for me.
Are You? :)

xoxo.!

Thursday, October 04, 2012

Splurge You Shall.... Not!

Recently, i've been running into soooo many delicious temptations!
With the recent update in my wish list.. the urge to splurge has been following me eversince!
The motivation to start saving for things i dont need but rather..things that i want.
Not that it is much of a problem.. but sometimes.. the wants seems reaaaaalllyyy unnecessary.

Unnecessary Want = Want, no?
If it was necessary, it wouldn't be a WANT but rather, a NEED. *smacksforehead*

haha. BUT YES! I CATEGORIZED THEM AS SUCH! pfft. =P

example?

This lovely Evo 7 Pro. 
I've always wanted to get myself speakers just so tht i dont need to borrow dad's speakers everytime i dance in college's studio. But i never got down to buying em.. dunno why. hahaha. This evo 7 here.. the sound quality? fulaaamaaaak! love at first sight! but its size is ridiculous for me to be bringing it here there and everywhere. but the sound quality really super nice lorh! after listening to these speakers, i spoiled by em edy. Any other speakers i tried.. all not nice. =(

But i wont be buying em la. I will admit tht i was itching like crazy yday tho! Coz i just love music so muchhhh. Especially listening to good quality music. Eversince i was young, whenever i'm free, i'd just lay on my bed.. and listen to music the whole day.. or be a couch potato and listen to the radio the whole day.. Music plays such a big part in my life larh. Really.. whenever i'm angry sad happy emo yada yada~ Music is normally my relief..somehow..  not to forget how it plays a big part with regards to my passion as well. =P hahaha.. 

but yeah! thts one example. Many other examples.
But splurge..i shall not. =D 
so easy to say! But i tell you....... it is not as easy as it seems!

It's no wonder why i have the most things among my siblings. coz i constantly have these wishlists which i always end up fulfilling in the end..its all only a matter of time. I'm the kind of person where.. If i really really want something.. i can do it/ get it. I will go all out for it. Studies..dance..music instruments..taking care of my friendships..whtever it is la.. if i want it, i will do it.. i can do it.. Coz i believe that as long as you put your Heart into whatever you're doing.. You can get it/do it eventually.. its all only a matter of time. But of course, this wont be applicable to a few issues or situations ..Depends. =) AND ALSO. because...

I is very sentimental. +
i keep keep keep keep keep. +
so it pile pile pile pile pile up.

# Alot of things.

haha.

And ahhh.. My bestfriend has officially left Malaysia..once again.


3 months. Gone. Just like that.
I remember how hard it was for me last year.. with her not around. Yes, ada skype whatsapp yada yada~ but it'll never sum up as compared to the person being physically right infront of you. Especially with all the things i had to go through last year and the first half of this year.. it was such a tough time.

Twin~ I'm gonna miss you.. i know people always say that 1 year would pass by in a blink of an eye.. But we both know better than that. That many things can happen and change in just a matter of months. But i guess..

" ... do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. " - Matthew 6:34

We're in a good place now, twin. So i'm going to embrace this time as much as I can rather than waste time worrying about the what ifs and what nots... Whatever that should happen in the future.. deal with it then, we shall. =)

At KLIA. Sending the Ong siblings off.. =)

Love you twin!
Till we meet again! 
*mwahs!*

xoxo.!

Monday, October 01, 2012

Wish List! :)

I have always liked making a wish list ever since i was a kid.
It gives me something to work towards. Goals.. Aims..Things i wanna save up for.
In my family, we grew up by this way of teaching, "If you want something, you save up for it." I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Whatever i wanted, i had to work for it. I had to save up for it. Even if it took me years to do so.

But i'm glad that i have been brought up in such a way. I didn't really appreciate this teaching last time though. In fact, at times, i was pretty upset about it. I thought.. "Why can't my parents buy me things like how my friend's parents would buy them things? Why must I save up for it when it is so easy for them to buy it for me rather than me,having to save for a year or more? " All these kind of questions constantly popped into my head as i grew up. I often compared my family with other families. My parents with others. My friend's lifestyle with mine. But that didn't stop me from working hard for the things that i wanted.

I remember buying my first bicycle when i was 9yrs old.. it was about rm300 if i remember correctly. It took me YEARS! to save up for that bicycle. I guess this was just one of the ways my parents used to teach me that money dont come easy. It worked. I saved hard for it. I only got rm1.50 to school everyday. Sometimes, just rm1 for school. Getting rm2 for school was a luxury. It only happened on one of those rare days. And so, u can imagine how long it took me to save rm300. But when i finally bought it, that feeling you get? Indescribable. That pride you get when you get something out of your own efforts and hard work. The fact that You bought it with your OWN money and that it is YOURS. No one has a say as to how you use it and as to whom you should share it with. It is yours and yours alone.

And ever since that first bicycle, after feeling whatever i felt when i finally saved up enough to get what i wanted, this became my motivation to continue and to keep up this good habit. I remember saving up to buy my own Radio with a CD player. I loved music as a kid. LOVED. Not forgetting the fact that i started loving dance ever since i was 10. I still have tht radio that i bought and i use it still, up till now. =) Then there was my own carrom board..which i still keep till now. :P i take care of my stuffs! Because i have to save up for them. And my first handphone at the age of 11 ! HAHA. I rmb when i first got it. i was SO PROUD OF MYSELF! know why? because i was the FIRST among my 4 siblings to buy my own handphone! I was sooo happy! and many many other stuffs up till now. =) even this laptop that i'm using to blog. Bought it with my own hard earned money. =')

And most recently, my own car. =))))))))) Yet again! The first to buy my own car among my 4 sibs! And i'm the 3rd child! mwahahahaha~! So happy and proud of myself! I've been saving ever since highschool! I had a goal, to buy my own car the minute i get my driving license. delay sikit. But still.. =D So yeah.. it has been my thing to constantly have wish lists as i grew up.. =) It motivates me to continue to work for smth and to work towards smth. So here is a wish list that has been on my blog for a very long time! few years! and this is the outcome!

Some, i bought by myself/ achieved by myself, some wishes, answered by a few people.. =) Yes, i am very blessed. =)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
▪Grow Stronger in My walk With God
▪Laptop.!
▪Forever 21's Navy Blue Varsity Jacket (Didn't get this 1, but a btr one from UK! :D was a gift!)
A Car :D
▪RED hiphop pants
▪A Video Cam / DSLR
Photobucket
This kinda dance shoe!
▪Nice shades with UV protection. Those REAL shades. xD
▪I wan a Pet Hamster!! =) ( No longer want a hamster. I hv a toy poodle now! :)!! )
▪Play Paintball
Go further in dancing. More competitions.
Find a good crew. =)that'll go far TOGETHER. *famiwee*
learn popping,locking,breaking,reggae
Get serious in Lyrical Hip Hop & LA Hip Hop
▪Lose Weight! (Hmm..ada la.. but not satisfied yet! )
▪Nice abs. =P ( Totally not there yet. HAHA.)
Trip with Friends
▪Save more Money. =P ( Saved and Spent. Broke again. )
A CANON IXUS Camera!!
Ipod nano chromatic- PURPLE!
Vest
Go for David Archuleta's Showcase!
Join AFC outreaches!
Good Results in SPM!
Get My Driving License!
Go rock Climbing
Cute Piggy Bank!
Holiday Trip with Family
Lovelay Tube Dresses!
Eye Liner.
More Nicesh Outing Shorts.
Nicesh Shades! :)
Red Highlights after SPM?
New HairStyle After SPM
See The All American Rejects in KL!
Go for New Year Eve's Countdown with friends!
Photobucket
These kinda caps
! =D
Photobucket







This Shoe! =D
Those Nice BagPacks. =)
NOKIA E63 RED =D
Stainless Steel Plain Ring! =)
Go Sunway Lagoon!
Try Foot Fish Spa~!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Haha, so, after all these years, Only 3 wishes yet to be answered.
Either a Video Cam or a DSLR.. still not sure yet.
Lose weight and get nice abs. HMMMMM.. hahahahahaha...
Looking back at this list, i cannot help but feel really blessed that almost every wish on that list have been answered! 

Though some got stolen along the years coz i got robbed twice.. 
The wishes were still answered. =) And i cannot be more thankful.
it's not really about how i got the things i wanted. Whether by myself or by the blessings of others. But from the way i look at it, I still got it in the end and i still see it as a blessing even if i had to work hard for it.  =)

So now, JENG JENG JENG~! Here comes Z New wish list! :D

*Amanda Hocking's "Torn"
*Amanda Hocking's "Ascend"
*A thick journal.  (Just got it as an early Birthday present! :D!! )
*Turqoise hoodie in Giordano
*FM Modulator
*A Big treasure chest kinda box to put all me memories. :) 
( I am very sentimental. I still hv all my childhood stuffs with me! =P )
*A trip to Europe!
*To graduate with a First Class in my Law Degree! MINIMUM, Second Upper.
(Hence, no need to pay back PTPTN! :D )
*A Trip to Sarawak.
*To win a dance competition.
*To visit Perth again!
*A trip to the USA!
*To see an Aurora with my very own eyes.
*To climb mount Kota Kinabalu! 
*Go for either Bruno Mars/James Morrison/Michael Buble/Adele's concert!
*Get my Own Bass Guitar.
* A Mandolin.
*Fluffy/Volumy hair. = get curls.
*A DSLR/ Video Cam.
*A bag like this! 

The other day, I was in GAP in The Gardens Mall.. waiting for my friend's jeans to be altered..and all of a sudden, this navy blue messenger kinda sling bag caught my eye.. It was so pretty! Navy blue plus the brown straps made it look slightly vintage-ish. I think. But it was so pretty! Ahh. i should never walk into shops like that. This exact same thing happened when i walked into Forever 21 the other time. haha. The navy blue varsity jacket caught my eye and it was love at first sight! same thing with this bag! ahhhhhhhhh.. Fell in love with it but its price is ridiculous! I would never pay so much for a bag.. Like i said, wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth. =) I'd either try to find something similar that is going at a cheaper price. Sure can find one. Somewhere somehow. =P Thats how i roll. :D

So yes, This is Z New Wish List!
Only time will tell how this wish list will turn out after a few years! =)

AND OH MY ME! IT'S OCTOBER ALREADY! :D!!
How time flies! =) Yay yay yayyyyy! One of my favourite months of the year! =D!

Why?
Nyahahahahahahaa. You'll see why. IF..you dont already know. :P

xoxo.!